Playing For Keeps
by twenty3
Summary: Take the pain out of love, and then love won't exist.' A deadly game will put Nick and Greg's relationship and lives to the ultimate test. They'll have to decide what's more important; making it alive, or making it together. Does love really never fail?
1. Right Here

Warning: Adult themes, language and violence.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything involving CSI whatsoever.

Greg stared at Nick through the pane of glass separating them. Nick was pretending he didn't notice Greg, was staring at him, but Greg knew he knew. He could tell by the way Nick was acting. He was trying too hard to be nonchalant and smile and joke with Warrick just to piss Greg off. Greg was pissed off because Nick was acting that way, and because the way he was acting was working. Greg couldn't understand how Nick could want to pretend everything okay when it so obviously wasn't. If Greg wasn't okay, then Nick shouldn't be either. Greg knew that sounded selfish and terrible, but it was Nick's fault that Greg wasn't okay, and he should be doing something about it rather than just trying to make Greg madder.

Greg couldn't wait to get home so he could yell at Nick. He already knew everything he wanted to say and had it planned out perfectly. On the surface Greg was extremely mad, but deep down, he was actually scared. He was scared that after six years of being with Nick that he still didn't know what he wanted. Greg wasn't looking for a proposal or anything, he didn't want that at all. Him and Nick lived together, and things had been perfect until Greg asked the age old question that Nick had previously ignored and never answered. It had always lead to a fight, just like it had last night. And now Nick was acting immature, and Greg wasn't going to stand for that.

Greg said to himself over and over what he wanted to say to Nick as he sat on the couch and waited for his boyfriend to get home. He started to get more and more nervous with each minute that passed, knowing that Nick would be home any minute and a huge fight was about to happen. Greg pretended he didn't care though. He knew they had to talk about this seriously sooner or later, so why not sooner?

Sooner turned out to be three minutes later, when Nick walked in the front door, fully expecting Greg to be waiting for him.

"Please don't start this again," Nick said as he closed the door softly behind him. "I don't want to fight with you."

"That seems to be the only thing that you know that you want for sure," Greg said coldly. "Why don't you want to talk about this?"

"Because you don't listen and don't understand," Nick said with a sigh.

Greg leaned back against the couch casually. "I'm listening," he said.

Nick sighed again as he reluctantly went over to the couch and sat next to Greg. "I don't understand why this is such a big deal to you," Nick said, even though he did understand.

"We've been together for six years Nick. Six. And you still haven't told your parents about us," Greg said flatly. "So it's either you don't want to be with me anymore, or you're ashamed of us."

Nick shook his head. "It's neither. You know I love you and there's no one in the world I'd rather be with, and I'm not ashamed of that."

"Then why the hell can't you tell you parents about us? Are you afraid they won't love you anymore for being gay?" Greg asked, his anger from before returning. Nick didn't say anything. He just sat there silently and started at Greg. "Is that why?" Greg asked.

Nick got up off the couch and started for the bedroom, but Greg got up and grabbed his arms, spinning him around to face him. He held Nick in place and looked at him, but Nick wouldn't look back. He tried to pull Nick back over to the couch, but the other man wouldn't move an inch.

"What's wrong with you Nick?" Greg asked, somewhat concerned but still mad.

Nick finally caved. "You're right. That's why I wouldn't tell them, because I was afraid they would hate me for it. And I was right."

Greg shook his head slowly. "What are you talking about?"

Nick looked up at Greg. "I told them. Five and a halfyears ago. I told them about us and how much I love you and everything. They didn't care. They were so mad, and still are. They told me to never talk to them ever again. They disowned me Greg."

Greg stared at Nick in disbelief. "What?" he said weakly.

"I never told you because I didn't want you to know. I knew you'd feel bad and I didn't want you thinking it was your fault. I'd rather fight with you over this than have to tell you that my parents don't want to be my parents because of you. But I don't care if they hate me because I love you," Nick said quietly.

"Nick...I had no idea. I'm so sorry," Greg said, tears beginning to build in his eyes. "I didn't mean to get so mad about it, I just thought that-"

Nick cut him off by pulling him into a tight hug. "I know you didn't know, that was the point. I didn't want you to feel this way, so I never told you. But it's not your fault, okay?"

"Yes it is," Greg said against Nick's neck.

Nick wrapped his arms around Greg's waist tighter. "No it's not. I don't care what they think, it doesn't change how I feel about you. Nothing ever could."

Greg wrapped his arms around Nick's neck, pulling himself as close to the older man as possible. "I didn't want that to happen."

"I know," Nick said. "I didn't either. But it did, and there's nothing we can do about it now. I don't care about that because I still have you."

"I hate it how so many people don't want us to be together," Greg whispered, in reference not only to Nick's revelation but also to the numerous threats and disapprovals of other people throughout the years.

"They don't matter," Nick replied. "I know it sucks, but don't listen to any of them. They don't know what they're talking about."

Greg was quiet for a moment before he quietly asked, "Do you ever wish you weren't in love with me?"

Nick pulled away from Greg to look him in the eyes. "Why would I?"

Greg shrugged weakly. "It would make your life a hell of a lot simpler and easier."

"If life without you would be simple and easy, I don't want my life to be simple and easy. I love living with you because it's so much fun all the time and you're awesome to be around."

"But what about when we fight? We kinda do a lot."

Nick smiled slightly. "I know we do, but it never lasts a long time. We fight because you like to be a pain in the ass, and I can be a jerk. We fight about it, then we're back to doing the same things we always do. We annoy the hell out of each other for the fun of it because we know that no matter what, we're always gonna be together."

"You really think that?" Greg asked, his own smile tugging at his lips.

Nick nodded. "I know that. After six years, with all our stupid fights and arguments, neither one of us has ever gone and slept with someone else just to spite the other. We never did because we know that no one else is worth it and no one else would be able to put up with us except each other. After six years, we're both still here."

Greg was smiling completely now. "Yeah, you're right. No one else would be able to stand either one of us, but it's their fault, not ours."

Nick laughed. "Exactly."

Greg pulled Nick to him and pressed his lips against the older man's softly, smiling against the feel of Nick's lips against his. He felt Nick slip his fingers through his belt loops and pull Greg closer still until they were flush against each other. They kissed deeply for a long time, but to them it felt too short by the time they had to pull apart. When they did, Greg stared into Nick's eyes and felt his hands begin to shake slightly. Nick felt it to, so he stepped back so he could take Greg's hands in his and held them tightly in an effort to calm Greg down.

"Why did you wait so long to tell me that your parents knew? I wouldn't have kept bringing it up and being a jerk about it," Greg said, looking down at his hands in Nick's.

"I didn't want you blaming yourself," Nick answered. "And I guess I didn't want to think about it. They're being so stupid and stubburn for no reason. Well, they have a reason, but it's a stupid reason."

Greg smiled slightly. "I'm a stupid reason?"

Nick laughed. "You know what I mean smart ass."

Nick pulled Greg gently over to the couch and they both laid down, Nick dangerously close to the edge and Greg pinned between Nick and the back of the couch, half layin on top of Nick. The lighter haired man rested his head on the other's chest and hooked his thump through one of the loops on Nick's dark blue jeans. Greg smiled to himself when his heart fluttered at the feeling of Nick's arm draped across his shoulders and his warm hand covering his own before the older man kissed Greg's soft hair. Greg had been with Nick for six years and they had touched each other basically every where on uncountable occassions, but Greg still got that fluttery feeling when Nick touched him like that because it wasn't sexual, it was loving.

Greg slowly closed his eyes and sank into the feeling of Nick next to him. It was very calming and always gave Greg a chance to relax. As relaxed as his body was, his mind was rapidly thinking about their relationship and how it had grown over the last six years. They had started off as good friends, and then one short year later everything had changed, and they'd been together ever since. They'd been living together for four years and had definitely been through a lot.

Nigel Crane had kicked off a serious of unfortunate events that had plagued Nick and Greg. First that, then the lab explosion, then theshift change followed by Nick's kidnapping and to round it all out, Greg had been beaten up by a mob of people because he saved someone's life. Talk about unfortunate events.

But those weren't the parts of their life together that Greg thought about as much as others. He obviously thought about the times Nick stayed by his side for days on end, making sure he was okay and doing whatever it took to cheer him up. He thought about the times Nick couldn't sleep because of nightmares and to help take his mind off of it, they'd play video games for countless hours. Greg thought about those things a lot, but not as much as the other aspects of their relationship.

Greg always found himself thinking about the little, seemingly minute parts of their relationship that may seem small to some people, but weren't to him. Things like random voicemails Nick would leave him at all times of day when something funny happened to him or he just wanted to say hi. There was also the text messages Greg got from Nick when the other man knew he was working a tough case. The messages were always simple, usually just saying "I love you" with a little smiley face. As simple as they were, they could always make Greg smile.

One of the things Greg loved most about their relationship was the honesty they had with each other. There were no secrets or lying, everything was always straight forward. On more than one occassion, the couple had stayed up all night talking about everything, disclosing their deepest secrets to each other so nothing ended up being left in the dark. But not everything had come out right away, it took some time and some things were harder to say than others. Greg understood that very well, and appreciated such honesty even more when he found something else out about Nick.

A month or so into their relationship, Nick and Greg had ended up Nick's bed, both of their shirts removed, kissing madly. Greg had reached down to undo Nick's jeans when he felt the older man tense up from on top of him. When Greg asked what was wrong, Nick shook his head and replied nothing, but Greg saw through the lie. Nick proceeded to roll off of Greg and sigh before telling him that he'd never had sex with another guy before and wasn't sure if he was ready yet, although he knew that he loved Greg enough to go through with it.

Greg didn't know why he was surprised to find out that Nick had never been with another guy before, but he was. He was also very glad that Nick told him so that it wouldn't have had reprucussions. Greg reassured Nick that it wasn't a big deal and they waited, basing their relationship off of more than just physical attraction.

Greg smiled widely as he lay next to Nick, as comfortable as anyone could ever get. Nick noticed Greg's smile and smiled himself, even though he wasn't sure what was so amusing.

"What are you smiling at?" Nick asked.

Greg shrugged slightly. "Nothing in particular, I'm just really happy."

Still smiling, Nick asked, "Why's that?"

Greg shifted so he was perched up on one elbow. He kissed Nick on the cheek before pulling back, looking him in the eyes with a huge smile on his face and responding, "Because I'm with you silly."

* * *

This chapter was a lot of talking and set up for the rest of the story because I wanted to establish the finer points of their relationship and how serious it is. The action will quickly pick up, I can promise you that, and I hope you'll enjoy it.


	2. Hit or Miss

Fear is a hard emotion to control, especially when you don't understand that fear. Fear is at it's worst when you don't understand where you are or what's going on, and the only thing you know for sure is that you're terrified. Having fear being the only thing you can understand at that time just makes you become more and more scared because you don't know what you're so afraid of, but whatever it is, it can't be good. It's the kind of fear that grips your entire body and stops you from thinking clearly or being able to control the thoughts rushing through your mind, creating horrible worst case scenarios that never turn out well for you at all.

Greg felt himself being consumed by that fear at that very moment. He didn't know where he was or why he was there. He looked around him frantically, and the familiarity of the place added to his dread. He had never been here before, but he'd been in a place just like this before. It was sickeningly similar to the bunker that the mass suicide had taken place in two years ago with the kids in that alien cult. Greg was huddled in a corner of one of the cold, damp rooms with only a single dull light bulb lighting up the room from the water stained ceiling. Greg was shivering both from the cold and the fear, but not because he was concerned so much for himself as for the other person that was supposed to be with him.

Nick had been laying on the floor of the van next to him as it sped off from the alley, taking them away from their crime scene to the bunker they were at now. When the doors had opened, Nick had tried to fight off their capturer, and now he was in a different room than Greg was with whoever had taken them. Greg wasn't sure how long he had been in this room for, but it was long enough to make him worry that he was never going to see Nick again.

Greg was just about to get up and go looking for Nick when he cames flying through the doorway on the wall to Greg's right, face first and landing on his right side on the dusty floor before tumbling a few times and coming to a stop in the middle of the floor. Greg immediatly thought that Nick was dead because he wasn't moving and Greg couldn't tell if he was breathing or not because Nick's back was to him. Unable to move or speak, Greg sat there in his corner, waiting for something to happen.

It only took a few seconds for something to happen, but to Greg it felt like hours. Moments after he landed, Nick rolled over onto his back and groaned slightly. His eyes were squeezed shut and his jaw was clenched in obvious pain. Greg scrambled to his feet and hurried over to him, kneeling down next to him and hovering over him like an overprotective parent.

"What happened?" he asked when Nick's eyes opened to look up at him.

Nick shook his head. "I shouldn't have pissed that guy off."

Nick had cuts and bruises on his face and neck to attest to that. He sat up slowly, wincing in pain slightly. Both he and Greg stood, still in the middle of the room, and looked around for a way out. Every wall had a doorway to another room or hallway that seemed to lead nowhere productive. Unable to make up their minds as to what to do, they stood there silently, confused and scared.

As they stood there, still in the middle of the room, they heard footsteps approaching from the doorway on their right that Nick had come flying through. They both snapped their heads to the right and stared at the stairway just beyong the doorway. The footsteps got louder and all they could was just stand there because all the other doorways only led to more rooms and hallways, making one big maze that may never lead anywhere productive.

They stood there, still as statues, and waited as the footsteps grew louder and finally black dress shoes came into view on the stairs. Another few steps revealed black dress pants, dusted like the shoes from the dirt on the floor. Finally the man himself came into view, in his late forties or early fifties by the looks of his graying but neatly trimmed dark hair. To go with his dress pants and shoes, the man was wearing a white button down collared shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to just below his elboms and the top three buttins were undone to reveal the black t-shirt underneath, but he looked professional enough in his attire.

The man came to a stop a few feet inside the doorway, about six feet away from where Nick and Greg were standing. He crossed his arms across his chest and smiled pleasantly before he spoke.

"Hello Greg," he said. "How are you?" When Greg didn't responde, he added, "I've already been aqcuainted with Nick here. He's quite the smartass, more so than I thought."

Greg glared at Nick for his stupidity before looking back at the man. "Who are you?" he asked, trying not to sound rude despite the circumstances.

"Oh I'm sorry, how rude of me. I'm Kyle Lanser. You don't know me, but I know you. Both of you, very well actually."

"How's that?" Greg asked.

"I've been watching you," Lanser replied. "Some would call it stalking, but I prefer to call it studying."

Nick felt his stomach lurch. "Studying what?"

"You as individuals as well as you're relationship," Lanser said. "You see, I've been planning this...experiment, if you will, for quite some time, and you two are perfect for it."

Neither Nick nor Greg did or said anything. They were having trouble coming to grips with everything that had happened in the last few hours. They had been at their crime scene, minding their own business, when all of a sudden a van came crashing down the alley. How they ended up in the van, neither one of them were sure, but now they were here, in this bunker with what appeared to be a well mannered maniac.

"You see," Lanser continued, "I've made up this sort of game to try and show the world that true love doesn't exist. Millions of people get their heart broken every day because the ones they thought loved them, really don't. People are tricked into thinking that love exists when in reality, it's nonexistent. Love for another doesn't exist, only self-love does, and it will overcome any kind of love for another any time."

"What do we have anything to do with this?" Nick asked.

Lanser held up his hands as if in self-defense. "Please believe me when I say that this has nothing to do with the fact that you're a homosexual couple. I'm not prejudice whatsoever towards you, it just so happens that that's how it worked out. You're perfect, both as individual people and as a couple."

Greg shook his head slowly. "What exactly do you know about us?"

"Everything," Lanser replied. "I know your fears, likes, dislikes, what's happened to you on and off the job, your friends, family, where you went to college and high school. The works."

"Why are you doing this to us?" Nick asked again, not fully understanding.

"Because someone has to do it. Someone has to play my game and show the rest of the world that true love isn't real."

"What's this game you keep talking about?" Nick asked.

Lanser smiled. "It's quite ingenius, if I do say so myself. It's a series of tests, both mental and physical, that will ultimately prove that people only love themselves. If given an ultimatum, despite what they may think, they'll never hurt themsleves to save someone else. This will be especially true in the tests I've designed for you two, using your fears against you."

Nick couldn't belive what he was hearing. "This is ridiculous. Why do you want to prove that true love doesn't exist? Why do you want to supposedly help people when you say that people don't love other people?"

"Because I was one of those people," Lanser almost yelled. "I was one of those people who got their heart broken because their 'true love' was lying to me. She said she'd love me forever, no matter what, and would do anything for me. People say that kind of thing all the time, and it's complete bullshit."

"No it's not," Nick argued. "Just because it happened to you doesn't make it true."

Lanser scoffed. "You'll see soon enough."

"No I won't," Nick said. "There's nothing you can do to me that would make me hurt him," he said, obviously in reference to Greg. "I'd rather die."

Lanser shrugged. "Then you will."

"Then this is pointless because you're trying to prove something that isn't true," Nick said. "You're wasting our time."

"You won't think that when you're terrified out of your mind and the only way to make the pain and terror stop is to inflict pain on Greg here, of course not directly but it'll actually be your fault. You don't understand, no one does. That's why I have to do this. I have to make both of you and everyone else see what they've been missing," Lanser said.

Nick shook his head. "You're the one that doesn't get it. The only thing I've been missing my entire life has been him," he said, trying his best to ignore the feeling of Greg's hands shaking against his own. "I'm not going to hurt the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Lanser still wasn't buying it. "You're gonna be so surprised. Maybe you won't hurt him right away, and maybe you won't at all. But he'll hurt you. One way or another, one of you will hurt the other because true love doesn't exist."

"Why do you have to prove this?" Greg asked. "No one's going to believe you and when they find out what you did, they're only going to think you're crazy."

"I'm not crazy," Lanser retorted. "I know what I'm talking about. There is no such thing as true love. No one love's anyone else nearly close to as much as they love themselves. No one will sacrific themselves for someone else if it meant them not being happen in the end. No matter how much you think you love someone, you'll always step back when the pool of their blood inches too close."

I'm sorry it took so long to update, I had some technical problems with my computer and had some personal business to attend to that took longer than I expected. I hope you're enjoying so far and will continue to do so.


	3. Pain Without Love

Greg's hands had finally stopped shaking, but not because he wasn't scared anymore. Nick's strong hands were holding his firmly, keeping them still until they were finally still on their own. Greg had been staring down at his hands while they shook, but now that they had stopped, he looked up into Nick's dark brown eyes and tried to smile, but failed miserably.

"What are we gonna do?" Greg asked, breaking the half hour silence that had fallen between them since Lanser had left them.

Nick shook his head. "I don't know," he answered as he looked around at the room they were now in.

Lanser had brought them to a smaller room in the back of the bunker. He closed and locked the door behind him, trapping Nick and Greg int he small, dark, cold room. There was a single mattress on the floor that definitely didn't belong in the bunker. It was perfectly clean and looked brand new, and very comfortable with the folded blanket sitting on top of it. There was nothing else in the room other than the mattress, blanket, and the two men standing in the middle of the room.

"Do you think he's gonna kill us?" Greg asked.

Nick knew better than to lie to Greg, especially since the younger man could always tell. "I don't know," Nick answered honestly. "I think that his intention is for one of us to die and become an example or something. He seems a little crazy and is probably capable of anything."

Greg sighed. "Well that's not good news. What's the chances of the team finding us?"

Nick shrugged. "Well last time I was stuck underground, they found me. Don't worry sweetie, everything's gonna be okay. We'll figure this out, and our team will help us out too. It'll be over before ya know it."

Greg nodded slightly. "Okay," he said softly. He was silent for a few moments before he spoke again. "But if one of us has to die, it's gonna be me."

"Absolutely not," Nick replied immedialty. "What, are you insane? That's out of the question. Neither one of us are going to die."

"You know that that's probably not true Nick," Greg said. "And if it has to be one of us, it should be me."

"Why?" Nick asked. "Why you?"

"Because I have a lot less to live for than you," Greg answered. "You have a huge family and everything, and you're more experienced as a CSI than I am. Losing you would be far worse than losing me."

Nick shook his head. "That's not true. I may have a bigger family, but they don't love me anymore. Your family loves you more than mine ever could. As far as being a more experienced CSI, that doesn't matter. You're great at what you do and you're so important to the team. More people would miss you, especially me."

"And I wouldn't miss you?" Greg said. "I had to watch you almost die in front of my eyes. I can't do that again Nick. I know a lot of stuff has happened to the both of us, but I'm not as strong as you. I wasn't as brave about it all as you can be. I'm not like you, I'm scared out of my mind."

"I'm scared too," Nick said, stepping closer to Greg. "It's okay to be scared, this is terrifying. I have no idea what's going to happen, but that's okay. If I have to be this scared, at least I'm with you."

A small smile spread across Greg's lips. "Yeah, I'm glad I'm with you too. Otherwise, I'd be going completely insane."

Nick pulled Greg into a tight hug and kissed the side of his head before whispering in his ear, "I love you."

Greg wrapped his arms around Nick's neck in an attempt to pull himself closer. "I love you too."

Nick stepped back slightly away from Greg, far enough away so he could take the other man's hand in his own but stayed closed enough to feel his warm breath on his neck. Nick gently pulled on Greg's hand, slowly leading him away from where they had been standing over to the mattress against the far wall. They laid down onthe soft surface, pulling the blanket over themselves for warmth. Greg rested his head on Nick's chest and draped his arm around the older man's waist and sighed happily. Nick wrapped his right arm around Greg's shoulders and rested his left hand over Greg's right hand that was resting on his stomach.

They both closed their eyes, lying as close as possible to each other. Greg could hear the steady beat of Nick's heart under his ear and the sound was calming. He snuggled up against Nick, sinking into the warmth of the other man. He flxed his fingers and entertwined them with Nick's before closing them into a fist.

Greg squeezed Nick's hand. "Don't let go."

Nick kissed the top of Greg's head and squeezed his hand back. "I won't."

* * *

Neither Nick nor Greg were ever able to sleep very well when they were apart. Whenever one of them had to go away for a conference or what have you, they wouldn't be able to fall asleep. So instead of trying and waiting for sleep that would never come, they'd end up talking to each other on the phone the whole time because without each other, they couldn't sleep at all. They got so used to each other that apart, sleeping wasn't an option.

They had slept for about three hours before Lanser came into the room, waking them up by throwing the door open loudly. He had a gun in his hand, but didn't raise it. He just looked down at the two men in on the mattress silently for a moment before he spoke.

"Follow me," Lanser said as he turned around and headed out of the room.

Nick and Greg felt that it was in their best interest to do as they were told. They slowly stood and then followed Lanser out of the small room. They headed down the long hallway leading away from their room. They took a left at the end and went down another hallway before Lanser stopped at a door on his right. He turned and faced the other two men, his face with no emotion whatsoever.

"Greg, go through this door," he said, motioning to the door next to the one he was standing in front of. "Nick, come with me."

Greg reluctantly went through the other door, which brought him to a small room which he immediatle realized was an observing room. The wall on the right wasn't really a wall, but a one-way window. Greg stood in the middle of the small room, looking into the room Nick and Lanser were in. Their room wasn't too much bigger, but it had more in it. All Greg's room had was a few chairs and a desk. Nick's room had a large metal vat, a coiled up garden hose in the corner, pipes running along the ceiling and chairs as well. Nick was standing next to the vat watching Lanser, neither of them speaking.

Lanser walked over to the wall Greg was looking through. Greg knew that they couldn't see him, it was just like the mirrors in the interrogation rooms at the police station. Lanser wasn't even pretending he could see Greg. He just walked up to the wall and must have pushed a button Greg couldn't see because suddenly, Greg couldn't see Nick anymore. The window wasn't now opaque, and Greg could neither see nor hear what was happening.

Greg stood there, still staring at the wall, waiting for something to happen. He stood there in silence, not moving and barely breathing. All he wanted was for Lanser to push the button again so he could see that Nick was okay. He needed to see if Nick was okay or not.

Greg jumped when he heard Lanser close the door to the room he was in. Greg had been alone in the room for close to an hour and hadn't heard him come in and didn't even know he was there until he closed the door. Lanser walked over to the far side of the room and leaned up against the wall Greg was trying to look through.

"Sit down," Lanser said casually.

Greg slowly walked over and sat down in one of the chairs. His legs felt like jell-o and he was glad that he was sitting now because he doubted that he would have been able to stand for much longer. Greg tore his eyes away from the wall and looked at Lanser, who seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Are you ready?" Lanser asked.

Greg shook his head. "For what?"

Lanser just smiled. "It's a good thing you're sitting down, let's just put it at that."

Before Greg could say anything, Lanser pushed another button on their side of the wall. The window became transparent again, and Greg could see into the other room. He immediatly wished he couldn't.

Nick was kneeling in the large metal vat. The sides of the vat were only about a foot tall, so Greg could see the water around Nick's knees. Nick arms were above his head, wrists tied together and then fastened by a chain leading up to the ceiling. The pipe above Nick's head was broken, water spilling out from the pipe down onto Nick, comepletly soaking him. This sight wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact that Nick's shirt had been ripped open and a small, circular object that looked like a sponge was stuck on the middle of his chest. Greg knew what it was immediatly and knew exactly what Lanser was going to do.

"A little electroshock therapy," Lanser said, voicing Greg's thought.

"Please don't hurt him," Greg said as he looked back at Nick.

"I'm afraid I don't have a choice," Lanser said. He pushed another button, and suddenly Greg could hear Nick struggling against the chains in the other room. "Sit tight Nick."

"Where's Greg?" Nick asked, not liking the fact that Lanser could see him but he couldn't see Lanser.

"Sitting right next to me," Lanser said.

Greg wished he could say something, but the words couldn't make it past the lump in his throat. All he could do was sit there and watch the water cascade down over Nick and wait for Lanser to do something.

Lanser took his finger off the button and they could no longer hear Nick. "I want you to tell him that you don't love him."

"Why would I do that?" Greg asked.

"Because it's the truth," Lanser said. "You don't love him, you've been lying to him the entire time you've been together. I know it's true, and I know deep down you do too. So tell him the truth."

Greg shook his head. "That's not true, I do love him. I never lied to him and I never would."

Lanser sighed dramatically and pulled a small device out of his pocket. There was a switch and a dial on the small rectangular surface of the object. Lanser flipped the switch up before slowly turning the dial. Greg watched as Nick winced in pain. His muscles visibly tensed and his chest contracted as his lungs stopped taking in air. Then Lanser turned the dial the other way and Nick's muscles relaxed, allowing him to put all of his weight on his arms and breathe again.

Nick struggled to catch his breath. He tried to take slow, deep breaths, but that only made his chest hurt more. He felt warm blood begin to mix with the cold water running down his arms as his wrists were being cut by the handcuffs sercured to the chains that were holding him up. He couldn't feel his legs, even though he was kneeling on them in the metal vat. His arms and fingers were tingling and only got worse as he began to catch his breath.

"Tell him the truth," Lanser said.

"I always have. I love him," Greg said, tears forming in his brown eyes.

Lanser shook his head slowly as he turned up the dial again, but higher this time. More volts of electricity shot through Nick's chest and flooded throughout the rest of his body. He was clearly in much more pain and it only got worse as Lanser let it last a lot longer. When he finally turned it off, Nick was gasping for breath and his entire body was shaking, and not from the cold water.

Lanser pushed the button and Nick's ragged breath filled the silent room. "Does it hurt?" Nick didn't answer because he couldn't since he still hadn't caught his breath. "Does it hurt?" Lanser asked again, agitation in his voice this time.

"Yes it hurts," Nick answered breathlessly.

Lanser took his finger off the button and turned to Greg. "Tell him you don't love him, and he won't hurt anymore."

Greg hung his head as the tears spilled from his eyes. "This doesn't hurt him as much as me saying I don't love him would."


	4. Make Your Move

Greg closed his eyes and felt his eyelids get warm from the tears building up on the other side. He felt them slide out from under his closed eyelids and trail slowly down his cheeks. He made not attempt to stop them from falling or brush them away after they already had fallen. He hung his head so that his chin was almost resting against his chest. Doing this made him have to breath out of his nose more than his mouth because of the lump that had formed in his throat. Greg thought that his hands were shaking, but he couldn't be sure.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Lanser asked.

Greg opened his eyes and looked up. Nick was hanging limply by his wrists, blood trickling down his elbows. He had finally stopped shaking and now he wasn't moving at all except for the slight rising and falling of his burnt chest. The water was still falling down on him and Greg hoped that it was doing more to soothe Nick than to hurt him. Even though he couldn't see his face, Greg knew that Nick was in a lot of pain and wished there was something he could do to help him.

"You could have prevented this," Lanser said. "Why are you even with him?"

Greg kept staring at Nick. "Because I love him."

Lanser scoffed. "And you think he loves you?"

Greg nodded. "I know he does."

"What about all the fights you get in?"

Greg looked at Lanser. "We don't fight that much, and it never lasts long. We fight because we care about each other. Look, if you're trying to get me to crack and say I don't love him, you're wasting your time. Nothing could make me stop loving him or make me think I don't love him."

"What if he didn't love you?" Lanser asked. "What if Nick doesn't love you? How would that feel?"

"It would hurt like hell," Greg admitted. "But I don't have to worry about that. I know he loves me, that's all that matters."

"You'll see how much it actually matters when you don't have it anymore," Lanser said as he crossed the room and left.

Greg turned his attention back to Nick and wished that his boyfriend could see him as well. Greg couldn't even see Nick's face and all he wanted to do was look into Nick's eyes and try to tell him it was going to be okay. He had been shaking for so long that Greg thought he was having one big seizure that would lead to him passing out. But now he was just hanging there helplessly, and the sight was almost enough to break Greg's heart.

And then he couldn't see anything anymore because Lanser had gone into the other room and pushed the magic button that cut Greg off. He couldn't hear or see anything. The door to the room he was in was open, leaving him free to leave it he wanted. But he didn't want to. He couldn't just leave, not so much because he had nowhere to go but more because he didn't want to go anywhere without Nick. Greg would have smiled at the irony if he wasn't so scared and worried about Nick.

So Greg just sat there for a very long time. He wasn't sure how long it was, but he didn't move. He sat completely still, hoping that he would be able to hear something or that Nick would come walking into the room and be okay. Greg became more and more nervous when that didn't happen and was contemplating getting up and going into the other room when Lanser came back in, gun by his side and a blank expression on his face.

"He's back in the other room you two slept in. You're going in there with him," he said simply.

Greg stood and was glad his wobbly legs didn't give out as Lanser walked him back to the other room. His heart beat faster and faster the closer they got. When they got to the door, Greg had trouvble turning the knob and opening the door. It felt like it weighed four tons. He finally got it open though and Lanser shoved him inside before closing the door and locking it.

Greg stood just inside the door, rooted to the spot. Nick was laying down on his back on the mattress, his arms by his side, laying perfectly still. Greg thought he was dead when he first saw him and had to look closely to see that his chest was indeed moving up and down. He was extremely pale and wasn't breathing as deeply as he usually did when he was sleeping.

Greg slowly walked over and carefully sat down in the bed next to Nick. He didn't want to wake him up, but he wanted to be with him. So he sat down silently next to him and just watched him sleep. Nick hated knowing that people watched him sleep, unless it was Greg, then it didn't bother him at all.

Greg had been sitting with Nick for almost an hour when he started shaking. Greg knew that he must be have a nightmare, so he did what he always did without having to think about it. He slid his hand into Nick's and rubbed the top of his hand gently as he ran his other hand through Nick's still damp hair. Nick calmed down and stopped shaking a few minutes later and fell back into his deep sleep. They stayed like that for another two hours before Nick began to stir.

The older man's breaths quickened until his eyes finally fluttered open and looked up and Greg. "Hi," he said, his voice weak.

Greg smiled slightly. "Hi," he said, still holding Nick's hand.

Nick tried to sit up, but decided against it when his chest began to throb. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Greg nodded. "Yeah, he didn't do anything to me."

"You saw me," Nick said. Greg nodded again. "Why did he make you watch?"

Greg shrugged. "To torture me too I guess. He wanted me to tell you...that I didn't love you. He wanted me to tell you that and said that if I did, he would stop shocking you. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't. I thought that that wouldn've hurt you more, I didn't mean to cause you anymore pain I just couldn't say it."

Nick squeezed Greg's hand firmly. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you honey. I understand."

Greg tried to smile again, but couldnt. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like I got hit by a bus," Nick said. "Everything hurts and feels tingly. But it's not so bad now that you're here."

Greg didn't have to try and smile this time, it came naturally. "I wish I could have done something else to help you," he said quietly.

Nick shook his head. "But you couldn't. This wasn't your fault," he said. "What else did Lanser say to you?"

"He was trying to make me believe that I didn't love you and said that I wouldn't anymore when I found out that you don't love me," Greg said. "He doesn't believe me that I think it's true. He was trying to brainwash me or something by making me think about how much it would hurt if you didn't love me."

Nick forced himself to sit up and did so without causing himself too much pain. When he did, he looked Greg straight in the eyes and held his gaze. He took both of Greg's hands in his own and held them in his lap.

"Remember when we were first together and I told you that I'd never told anyone that I loved them before?"

Greg nodded. "Yeah, then you told it to me two seconds later."

Nick smile and nodded as well. "Yeah, exactly. And I've said it to you every day at least once since then."

"Yeah, I know. What's your point?"

"I don't say it out of habit, or to make conversation or because I know you want me to. I say it because I want you to know that you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and those are the closest words that describe what you mean to me. I honestly don't think it's possible for me to ever stop loving you," Nick said sincerely.

Greg leaned forward and pressed his lips to Nick's. He wrapped his arms around the darker haired man's neck when he felt Nick's hands move to his waist, pulling him closer. The kiss began to deepen and as Greg slid a little closer to Nick, the other man had to pull away, breaking the kiss.

"Sorry," Nick muttered. "I still can't breathe too well."

"It's okay," Greg said, still smiling. "I don't wanna suffocate you."

Nick kissed Greg quick before saying, "It'd be worth it."

* * *

Sorry this chapter was really short, I promise the next few won't be. I just wanted to focus on them being together for a bit before I continued with the action. Thanks for the reviews and hope you're enjoying this story.


	5. Shaking

Spoliers for "Play With Fire" Enjoy

* * *

"He hates fire, doesn't he?"

Nick gritted his teeth as he looked at Greg through the cage walls separating them. Greg was lying unconscious in the center of the small cage on the cement floor. Nick and Lanser were outside of the cage, about seven or eight feet away. Nick's hands were tied to the back of the chair he was sitting in and Lanser was pressing the barrel of the gun to the back of his head, just in case.

"You know he does," Nick replied. "Just leave him alone."

Lanser sighed sarcastically. "I'm afraid I can't do that," he said. "It's taking him a really long time to wake up, what do you say we speed up the process a little bit, shall we?"

Nick couldn't see it, but he knew that Lanser was responsible for pushing a button or doing whatever needed to be done for what came next. The base of the cage suddenly began to emit small amounts of smoke, slowly but surely. The smoke grew thicker, and Greg began to cough slightly. A few more minutes passed, and flames appeared around the outside of the cage, slowing growing larger until they stayed at the same height of about a foot and a half. Nick could feel the heat even from where he was sitting. Nick could see Greg's face as he coughed and as the smoke turned his pale skin black in the spots closest to the flames.

Nick clenched his fists and sat rigidly still as he watched. Greg slowly began to wake, and when he did, fear took over his intial confusion. Lanser had drugged him in his sleep, so Greg's mind was hazy and slower than usual, but he still understood what was going on. He began coughing harder as more smoke filled his lungs. Nick could see his hands shaking violently, the only movement Greg could manage and it wasn't even voluntary. The drugs Lanser had given him had made him weak, drowsy, and unable to move hardly at all. So Greg remained lying on the floor, coughing and choking, trying his hardest to move but not getting any where.

Greg turned his head away from the flames on his right because they were closer than the others. His eyes looked through the flames flickering on the other side and he saw Nick, sitting in a chair not too far away. Greg couldn't see Lanser standing behind him because of the drugs, smoke and flames clouding his vision. But he could see Nick and he could see that Nick could see him. So why wasn't Nick trying to help him?

"If you move at all, I will kill him," Lanser said quietly to Nick. "If you say anything, I will kill him. Do you understand?" Nick nodded weakly as he watched Greg watch him. "Just keep doing what you're doing," Lanser continued. "Your gonna sit here and watch him suffer, and he's not gonna know why you won't help him."

Greg continued to cough, the sound raspy and harsh. He tried to move to the middle, but even there he wouldn't be far enough away from the flames. He tried to focus on Nick, but thoughts of the last time this had happened flooded into his mind. He could smell the smoke and the burning plastic engulfing him. He couldn't see much and he had this clouded and slow motion style effect all around him. He saw Nick the last time this had happened too, except Nick had been trying to help him then. Nick had been coming towards him, not sitting in a chair and watching. Greg couldn't see Lanser with the gun or the cage around him. He couldn't see anything but Nick's eyes on his own. Greg could see the fear he was feeling reflected in Nick's eyes, and yet the other man was doing nothing to help him.

"Nick," Greg choked out painfully. He could feel the smoke filling his lungs, gradually making it harder to breathe. "Nick, help me."

Nick closed his eyes and tried to ignore Greg's voice from penetrating his thoughts. He tried to pretend that this wasn't really happening and that he couldn't do anything. Tears stung his eyes, so he reluctantly opened them and his eyes met Greg's again. Greg looked helpless and scared to death. He was trying to move, but that was only making things worse. Nick knew that Greg was scared and didn't understand what was really going on. All Greg understood was that he was hopelessly surrounded by fire, again, and that Nick wasn't trying to help him. Greg's drug enduced haze was probably making him think that the lab explosion was happening all over again, something Nick knew all too well Greg hated to think about more than anything.

Greg's eyes were beginning to hold more confusion and pain than fear. "Nick," he said again, his breath becoming shorter and his strength dwindling down. "Why won't you help me?"

Nick was about to stand up, but he felt the gun on the back of his head and didn't want to chance Lanser actually shooting Greg. So he had to stay right where he was and just look back at Greg, not speaking or moving. Nick could see Greg's heart breaking, the pain displayed on his face and in his eyes.

Greg coughed violently and his eyes fluttered, threatening to close. Before they did, he looked at Nick and said was able to choke out, "I thought you loved me."

The smoke and drugs finally took over Greg's body, and he passed out in the middle of the cage. Lanser laughed coldy and then seconds later, the flames were out. Smoke rose over Greg's limp body, but it finally cleared and Nick could see Greg perfectly. The resemblence to now and after the lab explosion was uncanny. Greg was laying on his side, his face slightly blackened from the smoke. His body looked heavy with sleep and his breathing was slow and even. Nick sighed in slight relief because he knew that at least now Greg wasn't being totured and was safe.

Lanser walked in front of Nick, blocking his view of Greg. "You broke the poor guy's heart."

Nick shook his head. "No, I didn't. I didn't have a choice."

"Is he gonna believe you?" Lanser asked. "After what he just went through and seeing you not caring or trying to help him, what is he gonna think of you? He thinks you don't love him."

Nick shrugged slightly. "I made him fall in love with me once. I can sure as hell do it again if I have to."

* * *

Nick sat on the mattress next to Greg, afraid to move any closer and wake the sleeping man up. Greg was laying on his right side, facing Nick, with his left arm draped over his waist. It moved up and down slowly with the gentle rising and falling of his chest as he breathed steadily. Nick was happy to see that Greg was getting some much needed rest after what had just happened to him. Nick was trying to concentrate on Greg's tranquility so he wouldn't think about what had happened.

But of course, that wasn't the case.

Nick couldn't not think about what had happened. He had a heaviness in heart because of it. The rational part of him understood that there was nothing he could have done to help Greg without ending up hurting him more. But at the same time, he couldn't stop picturing the fear and pain in Greg's eyes as the younger man had watched Nick watch him suffer. Nick had wanted nothing more than to help Greg, but he had been forced to just sit there.

The worst part, however, was by far when Greg had said, _"I thought you loved me." _

Nick had felt like someone had ripped his heart out right then and there. Nick couldn't blame Greg for having said it, but that didn't make him want to change it any less. He was willing to do whatever it took to make Greg believe that he still loved him and what had happened wasn't his fault.

Nick was brought from his thoughts when Greg began shaking slightly in his sleep. His hands were the first to start, followed by the rest of his body. He began shaking more violently, and he winced in pain every few seconds. His breathing quickened as whatever nightmare he was having got worse.

Nick moved over just in time for Greg to throw his arms around his neck as he jolted awake and sat up straight. Nick caught him easily and didn't move as Greg buried his face against his neck, even thought his still sore chest protested against the pressure at first. Nick ignored his own pain and immediatly slid his right hand up the back of Greg's shirt and rubbed soothing circles on his back slowly. He wrapped his left arm tightly around Greg's waist, pulling him closer and holding him tighter.

"It's okay sweetie," Nick whispered into Greg's ear. "It's over, you're safe."

NIck felt Greg's hot tears on moistening the collar of his shirt. He felt Greg's quick, unsteady breath against his neck and could feel Greg's heart racing against his chest.

NIck ignored his own tears that were stinging his eyes. "You're okay Greggo, it's over. It's over," he said softly.

Greg gradually began to get his breathing under control and was able to take slower, deeper breaths and calm himself down with the big help of Nick. After the lab explosion, Greg had had countless nightmares and Nick had done just what he was doing now to help calm Greg down. Nick knew it would take a while, but didn't care how long it took as long as Greg would be okay.

Nick felt Greg's breathing getting slower as well as his heartbeat. "It's okay Greg. You're safe, I've got you."

Greg was finally calmed down and starting to relax when what had happened in the cage came back to him, making him realize why he had had the nightmare in the first place. He pulled back from Nick, taking his arm off the other man's neck. Nick let his hands fall from Greg and rest in his lap, knowing why Greg had pulled away.

"Why didn't you help me?" Greg asked. Nick didn't respond. "Why the fuck didn't you help me?" Greg repeated.

Nick wished he could say or do something, but he couldn't. There was a mental block between his brain and the rest of his body. He knew Greg didn't understand why he hadn't been able to help him. Greg had been overwhelmed by the drugs and his fear, which was more than understandable.

"Did you want me to die like that?" Greg asked.

When Nick didn't respond again, Greg let anger take over as his dominant emotion. He ignored the tears in his boyfriend's eyes and the look on his face. He ignored his own fear and confusion and focused on how mad he was.

Greg dove forward and tackled Nick, pinning him against the mattress. He straddled his waist, but not for his usual reason. Instead of kissing Nick like he would normall do next, he decided he would rather punch him repeatedly in his still sore chest from the electroshock therapy a day ago. He tried to let go of all of his anger as he hit Nick again and again, obviously causing the other mana lot of pain.

Greg eventually had to stop because his arms were too heavy for him to lift anymore. His tears had spilled from his eyes as he hit Nick over and over again. He finally stopped and looked down at Nick, really looked at him. He was obviously having a lot of trouble breathing and was in a lot of pain. As Greg looked at him, he suddenly realized that Nick hadn't tried to stop him once from hitting him.

Greg shook his head slowly. "Why didn't you help me?"

"I couldn't," Nick choked out painfully. "Lanser had a gun to my head and said if I tried to do anything, he would kill you."

Greg closed his eyes, only to open them again shortly after. "Why didn't you tell me that before I tried to kill you?"

Nick smiled slightly. "Because I didn't blame you, and I deserved it. I wanted to help you, but I didn't want him to shoot you. Then when you said what you said...I'd do anything to prove to you that I still love you."

Greg wiped the tears away from his cheeks. "I'm sorry Nicky. I know you do, I was just so scared and didn't know what was going on and why you were just sitting there."

"I know honey," Nick said as he put his hands on Greg's hips. "I would never intentionally hurt you."

"I wish I hadn't intentionally hurt you," Greg said sadly.

Nick shook his head slightly. "I'm sure you can make up for it."

Greg smiled as he leaned down, this time having every intention of kissing Nick.


	6. Talking In Circles

He knew where he was before he even opened his eyes. He had felt this way only once before, but it was a feeling he would never forget. It was unlike anything else. The tightness in his chest, the stiffness of his back and neck, the stale air around him, the heat of his own breath somehow on his face. He didn't want to open his eyes and confirm his fears, but he felt like he had no other choice. He told himself that it was just a dream. He had had dreams about this countless times before. But none of them had felt as real as this except for that one time, when it had been the real thing. The dreams didn't compare to the real thing, and right now was starting to feel like the real thing all over again.

Nick reluctantly opened his eyes, his heart sinking as he did so. He was immediately met with the sickening green glow from the glow sticks that was all surrounding him. It reflected off the plexiglass above him, where he could see himself staring back into his own dark eyes. He hadn't noticed it before, but he was now aware of his hands shaking against the plexiglass beneath his fingertips. Nick closed his eyes tight and took slow, deep breaths before he opened his eyes again, only to see the same exact thing he had moments ago.

"This isn't happening," Nick said out loud.

"I'm afraid it is," came Lanser's voice from somewhere to Nick's right. Nick didn't reply, so Lanser continued. "What scares you more, Nick? This, or losing Greg?"

Nick clenched his shaking hands. "Losing Greg," he answered honestly.

"I thought you'd say that," Lanser said. "If you'd extend your right arm, I think you'll find something you might want."

Nick had a feeling he knew what it was, but out of pure fear he did what he was told. He stretched out his right arm until his fingertips found the cold metal of the handel of the nine millimeter beretta at his side. He wrapped his hand around it and brought it up against the side of his torso before dropping it and putting his arm across his chest in an attempt to slow his breathing.

"Feel better now that you know you have a way out?"

Nick shook his head, even though he wasn't sure if Lanser could see him or just hear him. "I didn't use it before, and I'm not going to now."

"But you almost did," Lanser said.

"How do you know that?"

"Never you mind," Lanser said. "All you need to worry about right now is what matters most to you. Do you love Greg as much as you say you do? Because here's where you're going to have to prove it."

"Leave Greg alone," Nick warned. "I'll do whatever you want, just don't hurt him."

"Whether or not he gets hurt is entirely up to you," Lanser said, but it didn't soothe Nick's worries. "I have a little game for you."

"What is with you and these fucking games?" Nick demanded.

"Easy," Lanser said. "You don't want to lose him just yet, do you?"

"No," Nick said through gritted teeth.

"Good. Now listen carefully. I have Greg here tied to a chair and a beretta of my own in my hand. I forced a bottle of Xanax down his throat. If he falls asleep, he's never going to wake up. However, if he stays awake for about twenty-six hours, his system will make him throw up and he'll be fine. As long as he's awake, he'll be fine."

"Prove to me he's still alive," Nick said, his voice shaking at the thought.

"I am Nicky," Greg said softly. "And he's telling the truth."

"I'm also telling the truth when I tell you that this is no easy death," Lanser said. "He's suffering stomach pains beyond any comprehension right now. It probably feels like he was stabbed in the stomach or beaten silly, much like the time he was attacked by that mob of kids."

Greg sniffled then said, "He's right Nick. It really hurts."

Nick held back his tears. Greg sounded dillusional and unaware of the extremity of the situation. But at the same time, Nick knew Greg understood what was going on. He knew the other man could comprehend it, but he was trying to let the drugs try and trick him into thinking he was just feeling sick.

"So what's the game?" Nick asked, even though he didn't want to know.

"The longer you stay down there, the longer I keep him awake," Lanser said. "You stay down there for twenty-six hours, Greg lives. You stay down there for twenty-five, I let him fall asleep and he never wakes up."

"Why the guns?" Nick felt compelled to ask.

"It's your way out," Lanser answered. "For the both of you. Don't try and pretend this is going to be easy for you Nick. We all know it's not. And knowing that you have to last twice as long as before isn't making it any better. You know you have oxygen though, which might help a little. But the demons from before will be back, that's for certain. So if at any time you want to just give up and end your suffering and Greg's too, just pull the trigger and so will I."

The lump in Nick's throat was making it harder and harder for him to breathe. "Can he see me?" he asked quietly.

"We both can," Lanser said. "Just like last time, except you know you have a definite way out. You won't, however, know how much time you have left to stay down there. I'm not going to tell you how long you've been down there already either. You can stop it now before the suffering even starts. So what's it gonna be?"

Nick closed his eyes, expelling the welled up tears down his cheeks and across his neck. "A long night."

At around hour six, (that was Nick's guess, anyway) Lanser gave up. He had expected Nick to quit way before this. He had been wrong, and couldn't take it anymore. He decided to change the rules of his own game right in the middle of it.

"It's all on you now," Lanser spat. "I'm leaving, but to the next room. I'll let you out when the time's up. But you have to keep him awake, from down there. If you love him you can do it."

"That wasn't the deal," Nick panicked. "That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair," Lanser said with a sarcastic laugh. "Play with the hand you were dealt. Keep him awake, or kill yourself. I'll come in and shoot him if I hear a gunshot. If he dies before he gets sick, I'll let you out to see what you did."

Nick heard a door slam from above him over the beating of his heart in his ears. He couldn't believe that Lanser had just up and left Greg to die, but then again he should know better than to trust someone like Lanser.

"Greg?" Nick said, a little louder than he had intended.

"I'm still awake Nicky," Greg replied with a smile on his face that he knew Nick couldn't see, but he could see the panic in Nick's eyes.

"You need to stay awake for me G," Nick said, trying not to sound desperate.

"I will," Greg said, but he could feel his heart and body getting heavier with each passing minute. "I won't give up if you don't."

Nick shook his head. "I won't."

Greg's smile widened. "Good. Because I'm gonna need someone to talk to for the next however many hours."

Nick laughed lightly. "You would talk to yourself if you had to."

Greg rolled his eyes. "I did that once, and you're going to hold it against me for the rest of my life."

"You would do the same to me," Nick said.

"True," Greg admitted. "But I would rather talk to you than myself. I would rather talk to you than anyone else actually."

"That's because you don't understand how crazy I am," Nick said. "I still say you're out of your mind for being with me."

"And I still say you don't realize what an amazing person you are. I think that's why we used to fight so much," Greg said thoughtfully.

"We used to fight so much because you love to be a pain in the ass and know just how to piss me off, and then I'm a jerk. We would fight, have make-up sex, then you'd go right to doing the next pain in the ass thing to make me yell at you."

Greg laughed slightly. "I would piss you off sometimes just for the make-up sex."

Nick smiled. "I know you would, that's why I always went along with it."

"Ya know, for someone who claims to have never had sex with another guy before, you sure as hell knew what you were doing," Greg said.

Nick shook his head. "I'm good at improvising I guess. I don't like to think about why you're so good at it."

"I didn't sleep around Nick," Greg said, but not in a serious tone. "I didn't date them or anything, but I didn't just have sex for fun."

"Yes you did," Nick said.

Greg sighed. "I forgot I told you that," he said. "But I wasn't like an out of control partier. Besides, you were like that in college. You were that frat boy that anyone was willing to fall into bed with."

"I never said I wasn't," Nick agreed. "Anyway, I'm glad the last person I'm ever going to fall into bed with is you."

Greg smiled. "Me too. I just wish we were home, in bed right now." He shivered slightly, not sure if it was the pills making him cold or if the air had been chilled. "I'm freezing and really tired Nicky."

Nick could hear the sleep lacing Greg's soft voice. "You gotta stay awake for me sweetie. I promise you this will all be over soon and we can go home and sleep for days, okay?"

"Promise to keep me warm," Greg said more than asked.

"I promise," Nick answered anyway. "Remember that time you fell into Lake Mead in the winter and almost got hypothermia?"

"Yeah. I went into minor shock and tried to get you to take off all your clothes and cuddle with me."

"Grissom and Warrick were thrilled with that," Nick said. "Grissom felt awkward for a week."

"He was just jealous he doesn't get to cuddle up with you," Greg said. "I wish I was right now."

"Me too," Nick said.

A few tears fell from Greg's eyes. "If I'm gonna die, I want to be with you. I want to die in your arms, not in a stupid chair."

"You're not gonna die," Nick said reassuringly. "I'm gonna stay up with you for however long we have to and you'll be okay, okay? You can give up when I give up."

Greg smiled. "You never give up."

"Exactly. Just keep talking to me, and before you know it, it'll be over and we can go home and sleep for as long as you want. Just stay awake for me, okay?"

Greg nodded even though Nick couldn't see him. "Okay. And Nicky?"

"What?"

"I love you ya know," Greg said softly.

Nick smiled, knowing Greg could see it. "I love you too Greg."

* * *

Sorry it took so long to update. School's over now and my life is less hectic so I'll be updating more frequently. Thanks for the reviews, hope you enjoy.


	7. Cheek to Cheek

"Nicky?" Greg said softly, penetrating the silence before it had had a chance to become recognized as one.

"Yeah?" Nick answered just as softly as he too was feeling fatigue start to take over his body.

"If you want to," Greg said, "you can kill yourself. You can end it, I understand. This is the worst possible thing for you and you shouldn't have to go through it again. Not for me."

Nick shook his head slowly. "I'm not giving up Greg," he said firmly yet gently. "We can do this. It's not gonna be much longer."

"How can you tell?" Greg asked, his voice showing his desperation and pain.

"Because you're delirious," Nick answered. "You're going into shock, I can tell by your voice."

"That's not a good thing idiot," Greg said. He didn't mean to sound hostile, but he couldn't help it.

"Yes it is," Nick replied. "It means you've been awake and not feeling well for a long time, longer than you should normally. It means your body's reacting to the drugs and you're going to get sick soon. You're tired and restless, but you're starting to go into shock and getting irritable."

"Easier said than done," Greg said, wincing for the umpteenth time from his stomach pains. "Can't I just make myself throw up?"

"You will soon enough Greggo," Nick said calmly. "Just relax and stay awake, okay? It's almost over."

Greg shook his head almost frantically. "How can you be so cool right now? You're not in any pain or anything, but you're scared out of your mind. Nightmares of this scare the hell out of you, never mind doing the real thing again. Why am I starting to freak out?"

"You have a stomach full of pills," Nick said. "You're sick and not feeling well. But it's going to be okay. You're going to throw up and feel much better, and I'm gonna get out of this damn box and be with you. Then soon enough, this whole thing will be over and we'll be home and we can sleep, okay?"

Tears were now falling from Greg's eyes once again. "Okay," he said as he nodded weakly.

Greg's skin was so pale it was almost transparent, save for the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His hair was damp and matted against his head, but he couldn't care less about any of that. All he wanted was Nick out of that box and next to him as soon as possible. He was freezing and wanted nothing more than to curl up in Nick's arms and sleep for weeks. Greg knew that being next to Nick always made him feel better, but Nick wasn't next to him. He was in a box, under the ground, trying to keep him alive, and all Greg could do was yell at him and borderline have a mental breakdown.

"I'm sorry," Greg said suddenly.

"For what?" Nick asked.

"Calling you and idiot and freaking out when you're keeping me alive," Greg answered. "I'm just really tired and in a lot of pain and scared."

"It's okay to be scared," Nick said. "I'm scared too. But we're both going to be okay as long as you hang on. Just a little bit longer. You've done so well and come this far, dont' give up now sweetie."

"I won't," Greg said, "because I want to see you. I need to make sure you keep your promise to go home with me so we can sleep for a very long time."

Nick smiled. "I would never break a promise to you G."

"I know," Greg said, ignoring the tears falling from his eyes. "It's just really hard to think straight right now, it hurts so much."

Nick closed his eyes. He wished he knew how much time was left, but truth be told, he had no idea. He knew it had been a long time, but twenty-six hours was an extremely long time and the hours began to drag on slower and slower. Greg did seem to be going into shock, but there was no way to be certain if that was from the pills or fear itself. He knew Greg was in a lot of pain and scared, and he was really scared too. His heart was racing as he tried to supress the memories and nightmares associated with is current situation. But those things were hard not to think about.

"Did you think I was going to give up the first time I was buried alive?" Nick asked.

The question surprised Greg. He didn't answer right away because he didn't have the answer right away. He paused, then said, "I wouldn't have blamed you."

"That doesn't answer my question," Nick said. "Did you think I was going to kill myself?"

"Why didn't you ever ask me this before?" Greg asked, countering Nick's question with another question.

"I never wanted to know the answer," Nick replied. "I was never sure if I would have gone through with it myself. Five more seconds and I might have, there's no way to be sure. I was sure as hell planning on it." Nick fell silent for a moment. "Answer my question Greg," he said softly.

Greg sighed heavily. "I don't know what I was thinking. I was so scared and I knew you were too and I could see you down there without any other choice. I didn't want you to die at all, but I would have rathered you die on your own terms quickly than suffocate and suffer through that. I didn't think you were going to give up so much as...save yourself."

"I might have a lot sooner if it hadn't been for you," Nick said.

Greg frowned slightly. "I didn't even get to talk to you until you were at the hospital."

Nick kept his eyes closed, but smiled slightly. "That doesn't matter. You're all I could think about the whole time I was down there. Right before Warrick pushed away all the dirt when you guys found me, I'll admit, I wanted to end it. But I knew that there was a slight chance that I would get to see you again. That's what kept me going. That's why I'm alive right now."

"What's keeping you alive right now?" Greg asked, not aware he had been speaking out loud until he had finished the question.

"You," Nick answered simply. "If all I have to do is stay calm and keep you awake...if that's all I have to do to get to see you again, I'm gonna do it. I don't give up on much, and I'm definitely not going to give up on you."

Greg closed his eyes momentarily before opening them again and looking at Nick on the screen. Nick had opened his eyes as well, and Greg could see the green reflection of the glow sticks in Nick's dark brown eyes.

"I never told you this," Greg began, getting Nick's attention immediatly, "but when I first told Sara about us, she was mad. Not jealous mad, mad might not even be the right word, but she wasn't happy like I thought she would be. She always thought I was wasting my time with you and that you weren't who I thought you were."

"I don't understand," Nick said, and Greg knew he hadn't gone a good job of explaining.

"She didn't think you would ever like me back, let alone love me back. When I told her you did, she didn't buy it. She thought you were lying and were just using me for sex. She thought you were just like every other guy that lies and stuff. She said that you'd be long gone within a year."

Greg fell silent, but Nick didn't. "I never knew that," he said. "I never would have guessed. Sara did a good job hiding it. But I know why she said all that."

"Why?" Greg asked.

"She always had a hard time trusting guys, what with Grissom and that Hank guy. Besides, she's your best friend. She was just looking out for you, that's all."

Greg was a little surprised. "You're not mad?"

Nick shook his head. "No, I understand why she did it. I was like that with all of my sisters' boyfriends and all of my brother's girlfriends. It's hard to trust people with the ones you love. Plus, thanks to Warrick and Archie, Sara thought I was a two-timing womanizer."

Greg smiled slightly. "Which couldn't be further from the truth."

"Yeah, but Warrick and Archie can be pretty convincing sometimes."

Greg's smile faded suddenly. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, pushing against the knew onslaught of pain. It was worse, and was only getting worse by the second. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, hoping that it would make it go away, but it kept intensifying.

"Nick," Greg choked through clenched teeth.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked, immediatly recognizing the pain in Greg's voice.

"It hurts really bad," Greg said. "It feels like my stomach's ripping. I think I'm dying."

"No you're not," Nick said calmly. "Your systems rejecting the pills."

"This soon?" Greg asked. "There's no way it's been twenty-six hours yet."

"You're a lot skinnier and don't have any food in your stomach to absorb the pills," Nick explained. "So you're getting sick sooner. Don't worry, after you throw up, you're going to feel much better. I promise. Just take deep breaths and don't panic."

"It really hurt Nicky," Greg said as tears slipped through his closed eyes. "Make it stop."

Nick choked back his own tears. "I can't sweetie, but it's going to be over soon. You're going to be okay. I know it hurts, but it's almost over." Nick could hear Greg groaning in pain, so he decided to try and distract him from it. "Greg, listen to me. If I gave you one penny one day, then the next day two pennies, and ket doubling it like that everyday for one month, how much money would you have at the end of the month?"

Greg shook his head slightly in disbelief. "What?"

"How much money would you have?" Nick asked again.

"I don't know," Greg said. "Ten bucks," he guessed.

"No, much more than that," Nick replied. "Come on, you can figure it out. Just think about it."

Greg figured out what Nick was trying to do, and played along with it in hopes that it would work. "Ummm...one hundred dollars."

Nick shook his head, but didn't know if Greg was looking at him. "Much more than that."

Greg was thinking hard, and not focusing on the pain as much. "One thousand dollars," he said.

"Stop guessing and think," Nick said softly. "You can do it, just relax and think."

Greg took a deep breath, and upon doing so, doubled over at the sudden wave of pain. He fell forward off the chair and onto his knees. He hit the concrete hard, but didn't care about the slight throbbing of his knees. He kept his eyes shut as tight as he could and clutched his stomach. He was breathing fast and ragged, so he took another deep breath and was about to let it out slowly when he felt a slight burning in the bottom of his throat.

Nick had always hated in when Greg was sick. Not because he had to take care of him or because Greg was lazy, but because he hated seeing the one he loved in such a miserable state. Nick hated it when Greg was in pain, and especially when Greg threw up because the younger man hated it. But after hearing it now and knowing it had happened, Nick couldn't help but smile. He also couldn't help his hands from shooting up and pressing against the glass above him, trying to push the top off of him.

Nick pushed hard, but to no avail. He gave up and tried to wait patiently, but couldn't. He heard the door open and his heart rate immediatly increased. But after that, there was only silence. There was a soft pop when the microphone was unplugged, disconnecting Nick from the world above him.

That was when Nick began to panic. Lanser had gone back on his word before, who's to say he wouldn't again? What if he killed Greg and was leaving Nick down there to die? He hated to lose, and this could just send him over the edge.

Just as Nick was about to yell out in frustration, the dirt above him was brushed away and the cover was flung open. Cold, crisp air rushed towards him. Nick inhaled deeply, savoring the feeling in his burning lungs after having breathed the same air over and over again. Before his eyes had adjusted to the light, he was being yanked up by his left arm out of the hole and onto the solid ground that was now beneath his feet.

Nick's eyes adjusted to the dim light as he looked frantically around him. "Where's Greg?" he asked, his voice almost squeeking.

"In your room, asleep," Lanser answered bitterly. "He's fine. You can go see him now."

Nick wanted to run out of the room but couldn't just yet. "You just hate that you can't make us give up, don't you?"

Lanser glared at him. "It's not over yet."

"Keep telling yourself that," Nick said as he left the room, going as fast as his legs would carry him to where Greg was.

Nick entered their "bedroom" quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping man. Greg was laying on his stomach with his head turned to the right. His back was move up and down slowly as he breathed deeply. Nick silently walked over and carefully laid down next to him on Greg's left. Nick reached out and gently ran his hand through Greg's soft hair, causing the other man to stir slightly.

Greg inched closer to Nick until he felt the warmth of his body. He picked his head up, eyes still closed, and rested it on Nick's chest. He draped his left arm across Nick's waist and sighed deeply. Nick wrapped his arms around Greg and buried his face in Greg's sweet smelling hair, inhaling his scent. Nick closed his eyes, holding Greg tightly, just like he promised he would.

"I would have over ten million dollars," Greg mumbled suddenly.

Nick smiled, but kept his eyes closed. He kissed the top of Greg's head before saying, "I knew you'd get it."

Greg snuggled closer to Nick. "Thank you for staying up with me."

"You're welcome," Nick replied. "But now you can finally sleep, so sleep sweetie. Everything's gonna be okay."

Greg nodded slightly. "I know."


	8. Too Bad

"Nick, if you don't answer your fucking phone I'm going to kick your ass!"

"That's probably not going to help," Brass said softly to the frustrated and scared CSI standing in front of him.

Warrick sighed heavily. "I know, I'm just freaking out. At first I thought they just left together and got something to eat and got...held up or something. But they've been gone for too long. Four days is too long to disappear without telling anyone."

Brass nodded. "I know, but we are going to find them. Both of them. Don't give up on that Warrick."

"I'm not," Warrick said, shaking his head slowly. "I'm just scared that they're hurt. I hate just sitting here, not being able to help them."

"We can start now," Grissom said as he came into Brass' office with a piece of paper in his hand. "Archie got something off the surveillance tape from the scene."

"That can't be good," Warrick said.

Grissom nodded slightly. "It could be worse though. A guy - who Archie got an ID as a Kyle Lanser - apparently chloroformed Greg, then Nick, and put them in his van before driving off."

"That's not good," Warrick said with a groan.

"Vartann already stormed the guys house. No one there, no van, no signs of Nick or Greg. But he did find this," Grissom said, hanging the paper to Brass who held it so Warrick could see it as well.

"What's this?" Brass asked.

"Directions," Warrick said. "To...the middle of the desert? Why would anyone want to go there?"

"It's a good place to take someone when you've kidnapped them," Grissom said matter-of-factly. "Lanser's a scientist. He studied weather patterns and was a glorified star gazer. He fell into desructive behavior last year when his wife left him, and is apparently taking it out on Nick and Greg."

"But why would he leave the directions out to where he took them for someone to find like this?" Brass asked.

"My guess is he made a copy and forgot it," Grissom said as he took the paper out of Brass' hands.

"Why would he need a copy?" Warrick asked, just as Grissom was folding the paper and planning on sliding it into his pocket. "What else is on it?"

Grissom stared down at the paper for a moment before reluctantly handing it over to Warrick. The CSI opened it slowly before turning it over to the backside opposite the directions. He read it to himself a few times before he read it out loud for Brass and Catherine, who had just joined them after having been briefed by Vartann.

Warrick looked up at his friends, not needing to see the paper to remember what Lanser had written on it. "This is where you're going to find their bodies."

* * *

Nick was quite happy to see the small smile on Greg's lips as the younger man slept in his arms. Greg had fallen asleep instantly; Nick, not so much. The Texan had been unable to fall asleep. He didn't want to for fear that when he woke up, he'd still be in the box, listening to Greg suffer above him. So he kept his eyes open for as long as he could, watching Greg sleep peacefully until finally sleep claimed him and Nick joined his lover in slumber.

Awake again, Nick could see that Greg was sleeping much deeper than he had. Nick had only slept for about an hour or so he guessed, but was happy to see Greg was getting rest. The paleness of his face was starting to fade back to the gentle tan the younger man possessed and the dark circles under his eyes were starting to subside. Nick could feel his steady heart beat against his ribs as Greg's back moved up and down slowly as he breathed deeply.

Nick's left hand had eventually made its way under the hem of Greg's t-shirt to the soft skin on his back. He was tracing the faint scars slowly as his right hand rested on Greg's left arm that was draped over Nick's waist. Nick watched as Greg slept, becoming a little anxious as the minutes passed. He was glad that Greg was resting and everything, he was just nervous that Lanser had lied and that even though Greg had gotten sick that he still might not ever wake up. Just as Nick was about to get almost very nervous, Greg began to stir. Nick smiled slightly and waited patiently as Greg slowly began to wake up.

The ex-lab rat's eye's fluttered open, staring at the wall for a moment before shifting up to the man he was sleeping on. The smile on his lips widened briefly before a yawn took over, but after it had subsided, the smile was back.

"Hi Nicky," Greg said sleepily.

Nick kissed Greg's forehead softly. "Hi Greggo," he replied with a smile of his own. "How are you feeling?"

Greg shrugged slightly. "Fine I guess. Still really tired, but not feeling as bad as I thought I'd be." Greg shifted and closed his eyes, laying his head back on Nick's chest and sighing contently. "Are you okay?"

Nick pulled Greg against him tighter as he nodded. "I'm fine. I was so worried about you that I barely even realized where I was," Nick lied, but only half-lied. It had obviously sunk in when Nick was down there, but focusing on Greg had helped a bit.

"Are you sure?" Greg asked. "And I'm not ignoring you or not caring if you're okay or not, I'm just really tired," he added, referencing his position on Nick's chest that didn't allow the other man to see his full face, just his left side with his closed eye.

Nick smiled. "I know G, and I don't blame you. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Get some more sleep so you'll feel better."

Greg shook his head against Nick. "I don't want to sleep. I want to stay awake, with you."

"You were awake with me for twenty-six hours."

Greg shook his head again. "No, we were both awake. I wasn't _with_ you like I am right now, like I wanted to be. I wanted to sleep with you, not like that though, well I mean obviously I do ju-"

Nick laughed softly, cutting Greg off. "What?" Greg asked, looking up at his amused boyfriend.

"Nothing," Nick said. "You're just cute when you ramble."

Greg's smile returned. "I'm cute all the time."

"So what's the plan?" Catherine asked, breaking the silence that had settled over the people in Brass' office.

"We follow the instructions, go to the bunker or whatever it is that he owns, we get Nick and Greg out, and we get this Lanser guy," Warrick said, as if it really were that simple.

"My guys are ready to go whenever we are," Brass said. "I don't know how much of a sneak attack we can make this, Lanser has to be expecting someone at some point because he left us directions."

"How do we know it's not a trap?" Grissom asked reasonably. "What if Nick and Greg are already dead and he's trying to lure us there too?"

Warrick wanted to yell at Grissom for thinking like that, but the fact of the matter is that he had thought of that too. They all had. They had no way of knowing if their friends were alive or not. Well, they had no physical proof. Warrick had a feeling that they were okay and that they could save them. He had had the same feeling the last time that Nick had been kidnapped. When he wasn't watching his friend on the monitor, he still knew he was alive. He just knew.

"But what if it isn't a trap?" Warrick said. "What if that's where Nick and Greg are, waiting for us to help them? I don't know about you guys, but the possibility of getting them out of there while we still can far exceeds the risk of some psychopath trying to take down the four of us, plus half the Las Vegas Police Department."

Brass nodded in agreement. "That's good enough for me."

"Me too," Catherine chimed in.

"Oh, I'm definitely with you guys," Grissom said. "I'd like to see how this guy's been handling those two anyway. With them already on the inside, he doesn't stand a chance against us."

"So what's the plan?" Catherine asked again. "Are we just gonna roll up and say 'Give us Nick and Greg back' ?"

Warrick shook his head. "Fuck asking. We go in there, get them, and-"

"Arrest Lanser," Brass said, cutting Warrick off before he could finish. "Give me your gun before you go, the last thing we need is you shooting up people."

"Like he doesn't deserve it," Warrick said.

"So what if he does? Believe me, I want to hurt this guy as much as you do Rick, but we can't. Don't let him off easy, let's make him suffer in jail for the rest of his life, okay?" Brass said.

Warrick nodded. "Fine. But if he tries to possibily further injure Nick, or Greg, or any of us, I can't promise you anything."

Brass smiled slightly. "You'll have to beat me to him."

Greg was now fully awake, and fully aware that Nick was plotting something in his. Greg could read his boyfriend like an open book, and at the moment Nick didn't seem to mind.

"What?" Greg asked suddenly.

Nick looked at him, his brow furrowed in confusion. "What?" he echoed Greg's own question.

"What are you thinking about?" Greg asked.

"Nothing," Nick said with a shrug.

"Yeah right," Greg said with a sigh. "Please don't do anything stupid," he said pleaingly. They were both sitting up now besde one another, allowing Greg to easily slide his hand into Nick's and squeeze it firmly.

Nick squeezed it back. "Define stupid."

Greg punched him in the shoulder with his free hand, firmly but not as hard as he could have. "I'm serious Nick. The last thing I need right now is you doing something stupid and getting yourself seriously injured, or killed. This guy is fucking crazy, don't mess with him."

"Maybe that's what he wants," Nick replied. "Maybe he wants us to fight back."

"Why would he want that?" Greg asked skeptically.

Nick shrugged. "Because he's fucked up. Who the hell knows what this guy wants or why he's doing this. We haven't tried it yet though."

"Yes we have," Greg argued. "Well, you did. The first day we were here. You mouthed off to him, and he beat you up. How'd that go Nicky?"

"There's two of us, and only one of him," Nick said.

"Yeah, but he has a gun, so it might as well be ten of him."

"Good point," Nick said, "but I'm sick of just sitting here, waiting to see what else he's going to try to do to us."

Greg frowned slightly. "You're afraid that I'm going end up giving up and killing you, aren't you?"

Nick shook his head. "No, of course not. Come on Greg, you know that's crazy. I know you would never do that, just like I would never do that to you."

Greg sighed. "Then what are we supposed to do? Attack him when he least expects it?"

"Maybe. I don't know," Nick said quietly. "But I bet the team is on their way right now, with every available police officer in Vegas with them."

Too bad neither Nick, nor Greg, nor Lanser, knew how right he was. Too bad they didn't know what was coming, not that they could have done much about it, but a little preparation would have been nice.


	9. Up Against

"Shouldn't we at least have a plan before we go out there?" Greg asked.

"The plan is that there is no plan," Nick answered.

Greg rolled his eyes. "That's one of the stupidest things you have ever said. This is dangerous Nick. _Very_ dangerous."

Nick stood, pulling Greg up with him. "I know, that's why I'm going first, with you right behind me."

Greg rolled his eyes again, but smiled nonetheless. He followed Nick over to the door, where he paused for a moment before turning the knob slowly. He pulled the door open and took two steps forward, no more, no less. Two steps out the door, and before either one of them could even see Lanser, the gunshot rang out. Only one shot was fired. It was quick, loud, and unexpected. Thinking about it, Nick thought that he had felt the pain in his left shoulder before he had even heard the shots. He figured that that was quite possible, but at the time didn't seem that important. He reached up with his right hand, pressing on the spot that was stinging. His palm was met with the warmth of his own blood seeping from the wound.

Nick winced in pain as he put pressure on the wound. He didn't move as he looked up at Lanser, who was sitting in a chair across the narrow hall and a little to the left of where they were standing. He was still pointing the gun at the two younger men, who didn't know what to do or say. Nick moved to his left a step so he was in between Greg and the barrel of the gun that was being pointed at them.

"What the hell man?" Nick finally asked.

"You didn't take the chance when you had it," Lanser explained calmly. "You should have just killed yourself, then I would have killed Greg. Then none of this would have had to happen."

Greg wasn't paying attention to what Lanser was saying. He was staring at the back of Nick's shoulder, where there was no blood. No exit wound. The bullet was still in him. Greg couldn't see the wound under Nick's grasp, but he knew enough to know that it was a close range shot, and those bleed out pretty fast. The bullet undoubtedly missed Nick's heart and any other vital part, but it was still going to keep bleeing until something was done about it.

"So now you're going to just kill us?" Nick asked. Lanser nodded. "Then this has all just been a huge waste of everyone's time."

Lanser shook his head. "I was planning this from the beginning. If you two didn't kill each other quick enough, I was planning too all along. And now's that time. So which one of you first?"

Nick sighed heavily, and only Greg picked up on its sarcasticness. "I'll make you a deal," he said.

"I'm intrigued," Lanser said genuinely.

"Take me, do whatever you want. Torture me, blah blah blah, do whatever makes you happy. Kill me in whatever way you choose. Just let Greg go. There's no point in killing both of us. You're going to jail for a very, very long time, and then you'll be given the death penalty. Don't piss more people off by killing both of us. It's in your best interest not to."

"Did you really think that that was going to work?" Lanser asked.

Nick shook his head. "No, but I'm hoping this will."

Nick glanced quickly to his left down the hall, as if someone or something of interest was down there. Lanser couldn't help but look as well, with a frown on his face. Before he had time to realize nothing was there, Nick was tackling him to the ground. The Texan dove at Lanser, hitting him square in the chest and knocking him off his chair. Greg was stunned at what Nick had done, but didn't hesistate in moving from the spot. He quickly went over and stomped on Lanser's wrist until he released the gun, letting it fall to the floor. Lanser struggled against Nick for a moment, hitting him several times in his gun shot wound before he finally pushed the other man off him. He reached for the gun, but it was no longer there.

Nick slowly got to his feet next to Greg, who was pointing the gun at Lanser. His hands were impossibly steady. Lanser was staring at the barrel of the gun when Nick reached down, pulling him up, only to punch him in the face, sending him back to the ground out cold.

Greg lowered the gun, but kept his finger on the trigger. He looked over at Nick, who was clutching his shoulder. "Now what?"

Nick shrugged. "First, we have to make sure he's handcuffed or chained somewhere he can't get out of. I'll check his pockets."

He knelt down next to the unconscious man and rummaged through him as if he were another dead body they were processing. Greg had the gun ready in case Lanser woke up, but knew he probably wouldn't fire it for fear that he would shoot Nick instead. The darker haired man stood after thoroughly searching him, having found nothing. He looked at Greg with a blank expression.

"He doesn't have anything on him," he said. "He was really planning on just killing us."

Greg sighed. "Unfortunately for him, he isn't going to succeed. Where are we going to put him?"

Nick shook his head slowly. "I don't know. We could take him to that room he had me the first time, where he shocked me. The door locked from the outside, and there's chains in there. He doesn't have a key in him. He won't be able to get out."

Greg nodded. "Good idea."

After twenty minutes, the two men had managed to drag Lanser down the hall to the room where he had first taken Nick and Greg. They chained his hands behind his back securely and left him lying on the floor. They took everything else from the room except for the large metal tank, which they couldn't move anyway. They had had enough trouble with Lanser himself due to Nick's shoulder.

Nick waited in the room while Greg went into the hall and locked the door. Nick tried opening it, but couldn't. He looked around, ispecting the room. There was no other way out. NO seams in the walls for a secret passage. The only thing was the one way wall with a window in the other side. Greg let Nick out of the room, then locked the door again. They went into the next room, where Lanser had made Greg watch Nick be shocked. They took everything out of that room as well before locking that door from the hall. Lanser was trapped, and chained up.

"Okay," Greg said, putting the safety on the gun and sticking it in his jeans. "Now what do we do?"

"We need to find where he keeps stuff," Nick said through clenched teeth. His wound was starting to throb painfully. "I need a bandage or something, this won't stop bleeding."

Greg nodded. "Okay...where do we start?"

They both looked around, not seeing anything other than a long hallway. To their left was the end of the hall, where the door to their room stood on the right. With nothing down there, they went right, heading down the long hallway until they came to the large room in the middle where Greg had been when they had first been brought to the bunker.

"He came from there the first day," Greg said, pointing to the staircase in front of them.

Nick nodded. "That'd be a good place to start."

The two men ascended up the stairs, which brought them to another hallway, but a short one this time. They could already see the wall at the end of it. They began walking down until they came to a door on their left. It appeared to be the only door, so they came to a stop in front of it. They looked at each other briefly before Greg reached out and grabbed the knob, turning it slowly.

The door seemed to be a barrier between the all-cement bunker and what was on the other side. It looked like any normal apartment should look. It had a small kitchen to the right, a living area on the left with a hallway leading off it to what must be a bedroom and bathroom. A small closet door was on the wall just to the left of the hall, and it appeared that someone had been living in this place for quite some time.

"I can honestly say I wasn't expecting this," Nick said, his voice becoming heavier with pain with each passing second.

Greg nodded in agreement. "Go sit on the couch, I'll go find the bathroom and get something for your arm."

Nick staggered over to the couch. His vision was starting to blur from the pain and overall weakness of his body. He sat down and rested his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. He tried not to think about the pain in his left shoulder, but that was proving to be harder and harder to do. He tried to think about how long it had been since they had been kidnapped at the scene, but that wasn't any easier than trying not to think about the blinding pain in his shoulder.

He opened his eyes and turned his head when he felt the couch shift next to him. Greg was now sitting beside him, worry spread across his face.

"There was nothing," he said in disbelief. "Nothing in the bathroom or kitchen. There isn't even any food, only liquor."

"What about the hall closet?"

Greg shook his head. "Ironing board fold out thing."

Nick nodded slowly. "Okay, I know what to do. Go get the strongest liquor he has and turn the iron on."

Greg frowned. "How is that going to help?"

"I can't tell you yet because I know you won't do it, so first you have to promise me you will."

Greg shook his head. "You're the one that's dillusional now. You're going into shock from blood loss."

"Not yet," Nick said, but he knew it wouldn't be long. His shirt and jeans were blood stained, and the blood kept pouring from between him fingers. "My idea will work though, trust me."

Greg reluctantly got up and went back into the kitchen. He pulled the liquor cabinet open and shuffled through the bottles, frowning at what poor taste Lanser had in alcohol. Not having much to chose from, Greg grabbed the half full bottle of Bacardi. He went over to the ironing board cubboard, opened it, and plugged the iron in. He made sure it was working before he returned to the couch. He sat on Nick's left and handed him the bottle, pressing on his wound for him so Nick could take a drink of the liquor.

"Your plan is to get drunk so you can't feel it anymore?" Greg asked.

Nick nodded. "Basically," he said, and took another long drink. "When the iron is hot enough, you're going to burn my wound with it."

Greg immediatly shook his head. "No I'm not. That's going to hurt worse Nick."

"I know that," Nick said after another drink. "But it'll stop the bleeding. It's called cauterizing, and we have no other choice. I'll bleed to death, and there's nothing else to stop the bleeding."

Nick continued to drink the Bacardi as Greg sat next to him, pressing down on his wound. "You watch too much television," Greg mumbled, more to himself than Nick.

The Texan smiled and laid his head back again. "It's finally paying off."

* * *

Sorry for the delay. A close friend of mine's father passed away, and it's been a rough couple of weeks. The next chapter is already in progress and should be up soon. Thanks for the reviews.


	10. Close Range

The little red light on the iron was flashing, telling the two men sitting on the couch that it was hot enough to use. They both saw it, but neither one of them said anything. Greg kept pushing on Nick's wound as the other kept drinking the Bacardi. The bottle had been half full when Greg had handed it to Nick ten minutes ago, and now it was almost gone. The blood hadn't stopped pouring against Greg's hands, continuing to stain Nick's clothes as well as Greg's now. The bleeding and pain hadn't stopped, nor had they spoken.

"I never though I'd be glad that you can drink that much without getting sick," Greg said, more to himself than to Nick.

Nick smiled as he took another drink. "Living in a frat house for four years definitely helped." He guzzled down the last of the bottle in one swing, then looked over at Greg. "Okay, let's do this."

"Can you still feel it?" Greg asked. Nick nodded. "Then maybe we should wait until it's number or something."

Nick shook his head. "It's not going to get number. I know you don't want to do this, but you have to. It's going to work, and it won't hurt that much."

"Yes it will," Greg said. "And you're not just going to lie there and let me burn you with an iron. How am I supposed to hold you down?"

"I'm drunk," Nick said. "And I don't wanna bleed to death, or hurt you, so I'm going to be as still as possible. Besides, you're pretty strong."

Greg scoffed. "I'm not stronger than you, you know that. You've used that to your advantage on countless occassions."

Nick stood, swaying slighting on his unsteady feet. "Like you minded it," he said, his voice slow and heavy. "And once again, I'm drunk. And don't want to have sex with you. At this moment. So can we get this over with please? I would like you to burn me with that iron now."

Greg rolled his eyes as he stood, putting his arm around Nick to give him more balance. They went over to where the ironing board was, where Greg carefully took Nick's shirt off before the injured man layed down on the floor. Greg went back into the kitchen and got the oil that he would need after he burned Nick, then he grabbed the iron and looked over his boyfriend's battered body.There were still marks from the electric shock treatment, not to mention other bruises and cuts scattered all over his chest and abs. Greg swallowed as he lowered himself down so he was straddling Nick's waist. Nick shifted slightly so his arms were behind his back, pinned between him and the floor. Greg pressed Nick's shirt against the wound for a moment before wiping the blood away so he would see where the wound was.

Nick's breathing was slow and deep, but Greg could feel his heart racing against his hand that was resting on his chest. Greg had one hand on the iron and the other holding Nick down. Nick looked up at Greg, his demeanor matching his calm breathing, but his eyes were scared and nervous, like the beating of his heart.

"I trust you," Nick said softly before he closed his eyes and turned his head to the side.

Greg took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He gripped the handle of the iron tightly, making his hand steadier as he slowing lowered the scalding object down. He pressed the top of it to Nick's skin, immediating eliciting a sickening hiss. Nick yelled out in agony, but Greg held it there for a few seconds before pulling it away. Nick squirmend underneath him, but didn't move too much because of the alcohol and lack of room to move. Greg pressed his chest forcefully but carefully and watched Nick suffer as tears stung his eyes.

"Nicky, I have to do it again. It's not closed yet, but it's working. One more time baby and it's over, okay?" Nick nodded, but kept his head turned to the side. He didn't want to see it coming. "Take a couple deep breaths. Just keep breathing," Greg said calmly.

Nick did what Greg said. He breathed in and out several times, expanding his chest out against Greg's open palm. He kept doing so, trying not to think about how long it was going to be before Greg burned him again. It wasn't long. Greg pressed the iron back against the wound, holding it harder this time. The sickening sound returned, as did Nick yelling out in pain. He tried to jerk his shoulder away, but couldn't. Greg counted to ten as he held the iron, but felt so much longer. He finally pulled it off and exmained the wound, smiling when he saw that it was now fully closed and no more blood was pouring from it.

Once he saw that it had worked, Greg threw the iron as far away as he could and leaned forward, placing his hands on either side of Nick's face. He pulled gently, forcing Nick to face his direction. His eyes were still closed tightly, his face in an expression of extreme pain. Greg leaned forward and brushed his lips against Nick's softly.

"It's over sweetie," Greg said as he pulled back and grabbed the bottle of oil. He pulled the cap off and poured half of the contents onto Nick's burned wound. He could tell by the relaxing in Nick's tense muscles that it was soothing the burn.

Nick finally opened his eyes and looked up and Greg. He smiled slightly before weakly saying, "Pour the rest on."

Greg did as Nick requested. He emptied the bottle then slowly got off of Nick and knelt beside him. He helped him sit up, then after a moment helped him get to his feet. Nick leaned against Greg for support because his head was spinning from the pain and blood loss. He rested his head on Greg's shoulder and they just stood there catching their breath.

After a few minutes, Nick moved his head and kissed Greg's neck lightly. "I knew I could trust you," he said queitly.

Greg held Nick against him tightly. "Glad to help," he said before kissing the top of Nick's head. "Do you think you can walk?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah. We need to get the hell out of here."

"I agree, but only if you're sure you can. If you need to rest, rest. There's no hurry."

"Yes there is. I don't want to stay here anymore. I want to go home, with you, and sleep. I want to sleep for a very long time and not be awake anymore."

Greg smiled slightly at Nick's ramblings. "Okay honey, let's go home."

* * *

Getting Nick down the stairs was easy than Greg had thought it would be. It had been harder to get Nick's shirt back on, which they had only done because Nick was shivering uncontrolably. It had been from more than just being cold, but it couldn't hurt anymore than it would help. So they made their way down the stairs back to the landing where they had been the first day. They stopped there to rest because Nick thought he was about to collapse.

The Texan took several slow, deep breaths, his eyes locked with Greg's. After he felt better, he looked around him for a way out. He looked to his right, down the hall he knew nothing would come of. He would have looked away took if something hadn't caught his eye. At first he thought his mind was playing tricks on him seeing as how he lost so much blood, but the longer he looked, the more he realized he wasn't imaging it.

"Greg," he said, his voice full of fear. "The door's open."

Greg followed Nick's gaze, his eyes finding the adjacent door on the right. He frowned at first, not recognizing the situation. Then he realized that the door that was open was the door that lead to the room where they had put Lanser. And it was open. That wasn't good.

"That's not good," Greg said. He started to walk towards it when Nick reached out and grabbed him.

"Have you not seen a scary movie before?" Greg frowned at Nick. "Shit like this never ends well. Ever."

Then they heard noise coming from down the hall. Muffled voices and feet shuffling on the dusty floor.

"This isn't a movie Nicky," Greg said as he took Nick's hand and gently pulled him down the hallway.

As they got closer to the door, Greg slowed his pace down, but didn't stop. Nick gripped his hand tightly, in fear and in pain. Greg glanced over at Nick when they where three feet away, and when they looked back they both jumped back in surprise.

"What the fuck man!" Nick yelled. "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't do that!"

"Easy Nicky, it's alright man," Warrick said. "I didn't mean to scare ya. I just heard you guys and went to find you. Are you okay?"

"I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack, but other than that, yeah, we're okay," Nick said breatlessly.

A blonde head popped out of the room behind Warrick, announcing the Catherine. Tears flooded her eyes when she saw Nick and Greg and she immediatly reached out, pulling them both into a tight hug. Nick winced in pain, but didn't try to pull away.

"Thank God you're okay," Catherine said against the two men she was bear hugging. "We were worried sick."

Grissom and Brass appeared behind Catherine, both with relieved smiles on their faces. "We got Lanser," Brass said happily. "Paramedics are outside waiting to check you guys out."

"How did you find us?" Greg asked when Catherine finally released them.

"He left us directions," Warrick answered. "He thought it would have been over by the time we got him."

"It is over," Nick said. "But not the way he thought it would be."

"Did you get shot?" Grissom asked, noticing Nick's shoulder.

Nick nodded. "Yeah. Then we cauterized it to stop the bleeding. I should probably go to the hospital."

"Now you think logically," Greg said.

"Okay, let's get them out of here," Catherine said, taking the lead as everyone followed her down the hall to the very end, past the first set of stairs to the last one on the left that lead up to where sunlight was pouring in. They all went up the stairs into the hot Vegas sun. Nick and Greg had to squint in the sunlight because they hadn't been outside in days. They headed for the ambulance that was parked twenty feet away, but they didn't make it ten feet away from the bunker.

Nick and Greg had only taken three steps. They were fine one minute, then the next they collapsed to the ground ina fit of seizures that shook their body. Everyone stopped and stared, having no idea what to do. The paramedics saw what happened and rushed to them as everyone looked around to try and see what could have caused it.

Lanser looked on from the police cruiser he was handcuffed in the backseat of. He smiled at the confusion before him. The expressions on everyone's faces was enough to make this whole thing worth it. They had no idea what was going on, and he wasn't about to tell anyone.

It looked as though he was going to win after all.


	11. True Lies

"What's happening?" Catherine cried out.

"I don't know," Warrick said as he kneeled down next to Nick, Brass doing the same to Greg. "Nicky, what's going on man? What's wrong?"

Nick was shaking so violently that he couldn't respond, and neither could Greg. Their eyes were shut tightly, and neither one of them could breathe. The paramedics quickly joined Warrick and Brass at Nick and Greg's sides, but they couldn't help much because they were shaking so badly. Everyone was talking at once, so no one was understandable. Everything had gone from calm to hectic, and was only getting worse. The men kneeling on the ground feared Nick and Greg were going to suffocate from the muscle contraction in their chests that weren't allowing them to breathe. Everyone began to yell at each other, making matters worse, when Grissom got their attention.

"Hey," he said, but not loud enough. "Hey!" he yelled, getting everyone to shut up and look at him. "Do you hear that?"

Everyone strained their ears, and uopn doing so, heard the soft buzzing noise that Grissom was talking about. "What the hell is that?" Brass asked.

Grissom didn't answer. "Drag them back," he said, bending over and firmly taking one of Nick's shaking ankles. "Drag them back towards the bunker."

Warrick took Nick's other ankle and the paramedics grabbed Greg's, then they carefully but quickly pulled the shaking men back in the direction they had come in. After being dragged roughly four feet, the seizures stopped. Nick and Greg laid flat on the dusty ground, breathing heavily to catch their breaths. Their eyes were still shut tightly, but with each breath their bodies began to relax more. No one said anything; they all just circled around them and watched as the two men slowly regained their composure.

"What the fuck just happened?" Nick asked breathlessly.

"Lanser has apparently installed a shock fence," Grissom replied. "If you and Greg go too far, it shocks you into seizures."

Both Nick and Greg had a paramedic checking them out with the few tools they had with them. "Like a dog fence?" Greg asked.

Grissom nodded. "Yes, just like that. He must have implanted something in you. He probably put it in your food."

"That bastard never fed us," Nick said, shaking his head. "He must have done it while we were sleeping. There's gotta be a way to shut the fence off though, right?"

Grissom already had his cell phone out, waiting as it rang. "Archie will be here soon to figure it out."

But Brass couldn't wait that long. While Grissom began explaining the situation over the phone to the A/V tech, the police captain stormed across the hot desert ground to the cruiser Lanser was being held in. Paying no attention to the objecting of the officer stationed at the car, Brass pushed past him and to the door that Lanser was on the other side of. He threw the door open, grabbed Lanser by the collar of his shirt, and yanked him out of the car. He slammed the door shut before forcefully throwing Lanser up against it and holding him there.

The scene that was unfolding was now being watched by everyone else, who were all luckily close enough to see what was happening, and far enough away to feel safe from the fury of James Brass.

"Time to stop fucking around," Brass said. "What did you do to them?"

Lanser smirked. "Your friend over there already figured it out," he said, motioning to Grissom with his head. "They can't go any farther than three feet from where they are right now."

"How did you know I figured it out?" Grissom asked as he joined Brass over at the police cruiser.

"I saw you get everyone's attention, and it was your idea to drag them back," Lanser answered. "It doesn't matter who figured it out. There's only one way around it."

"We have the best technician on his way over here, so save him the trouble and just tell us," Brass said.

Lanser nodded at Nick and Greg. "Bring me over to them. I want them to hear this."

"We can hear you from here jackass," Nick yelled over for emphasis.

"Bring me over there," Lanser said to Brass. When the captain didn't respond, he added, "I'm handcuffed. And there's so many more of you than me, I can't try anything. I'll explain this to you, then come back to my nice little car."

Brass looked at Grissom, and neither man saw a problem with this. Brass and the officer each took hold of one of Lanser's arms and lead him over to where Nick, Greg, Warrick and Catherine were sitting on the ground with the paramedics standing close by. They had patched up Nick's shoulder, but there wasn't much more they could do without the necessary tools in their ambulance and at the hospital, so that would have to wait.

Brass pulled Lanser to a stop a few steps away from Nick and Greg. "Okay," he said, "explain."

Lanser smirked down at the two men he had tortured for over a week. "One of of you is going to have to die for the other to get past that fence," he said. Nick and Greg exchanged annoyed glances while everyone else seemed shocked by the news.

"It's another one of his games," Greg said. "That's what he's been doing to us, putting us through these tests to see which one of us would kill the other to save ourselves. It hasn't worked yet."

"He's right," Lanser said. "That's exactly what this, although I had it planned differently. I wanted to have it as kind of a King of the Hill type deal, where you two would have to fight to keep the other out long enough for them to die."

"How would that help?" Nick asked.

"I put a sensor in both of you that is reacting to the change in conditions of the fence, and therefor causing the seizures," Lanser explained. "They're also hooked up to each other. Your previous seizure was so bad because both of you were past the fence at once. You see, my game was designed so that you would be shocked, but only just enough to hurt. You would still be able to try and get back across the fence, as the other one is trying to keep you out until you die."

"Again," Nick said, "how would that help?"

"The sensor is active because of your heart rate. When your heart rate stops, the sensor stops. When one sensor stops, the other one stops. So you see, as long as you're both alive, you're both stuck on that side of the fence."

Brass sighed. "Looks like we're going to have to wait for Archie to shut the fence down."

Lanser shook his head. "If the fence is tampered with, both sensors go off until they both die."

"How long will it take for one of us to die?" Nick asked, getting shocked looks from everyone but Lanser.

"About five minutes," Lanser said, "of pure pain. It wouldn't be as bad as that last one, but it'll still hurt. A lot. And it'll only get worse as your body gets weaker."

"But it won't matter," Greg said, but to Nick instead of Lanser. "Because that's not how we're getting around it. Archie or someone else will figure it out."

Nick made no reply. He looked down at the ground beneath his feet, thinking silently to himself what they were going to do. If Lanser was right, as he very well could be, Nick was getting his speech ready for why he should die instead of Greg. He knew that it would be in vain though, especially with the people around him. His boyfriend, best friend, and three of his other closest friends. Not to mention two paramedics who didn't seem ready to let anyone die.

Archie arrived twenty minutes later. After be briefed by Grissom and with some tools in hand, he set off to find the power source of the fence. He figured that if he just shut off the source, it would be okay. It only took him about five minutes to find it, in Lanser's makeshift apartment in the bunker, and when he did he called Grissom, who was with everyone else outside, save for the officer Brass had sent with the tech.

"I found it," Archie reported happily. "There's only one wire I can cut, so this must be it."

Grissom nodded. "Okay, so cut it."

Archie gently took the wire in his hands, and since he was below ground in the bunker, he couldn't see the immediate affect of it. Grissom thought that Archie had cut it because Nick and Greg both started shaking again, just as bad as last time. They fell onto their backs and started convulsing, despite everyone around them's best efforts to keep them steady.

"Stop Archie!" Grissom yelled into the phone.

Archie released the wire before he had done anything. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nick and Greg had another seizure. What did you do?"

"I just touched the wire," Archie said, "nothing more."

"Damn it," Grissom cursed. "Lanser said any interference with the fence would shock both Nick and Greg. He said if it was tried to shut down, the sensors would shock them until they died. Do you think that's possible."

"Yes," Archie replied without having to think. "But that means there's no way around it. Why wouldn't he have just killed them if they were going to die anyway?"

"Because he wants one of them to try and kill the other," Grissom said, looking at the two men who were recovering from their seizure. "If one of them dies, the sensors shut down."

Archie was quiet for a minute before he said, "That's possible Grissom. He may be telling the truth."

Grissom sighed heavily. "That's what I was afraid of."


	12. So Far Away

Warrick initially felt bad about it, but gave in to the fact that he was really doing the right thing by shaking Nick's good shoulder gently to wake the sleeping man up. Everyone could clearly see how tired Nick and Greg had been because they had fallen asleep sitting up against the side of the bunker in near one hundred degree heat. Nick woke up after two gently shakes, resulting in Greg waking as well because his head had fallen against Nick's chest. They both squinted against the light and looked up at Warrick with sleep filled eyes.

"The food's here," Warrick said, answering their questioning expressions.

Nick rubbed a hand over his face. "When did we order food?"

"About five minutes after you fell asleep," Warrick replied. "You've been asleep for a little over an hour."

After the realization that there was food for them to eat, Nick and Greg were fully awake. They sat up comepletely and waited as patiently as possible as Catherine and Grissom brought the bags of In and Out fast food over to where everyone else was waiting as well. They passed out the food, and everyone was so hungry that they didn't care what they got to eat. Catherine gave both Nick and Greg a large cup of soda, receiving a sigh from each of them.

"I know you both hate soda, but you need to get sugar back into your system or you'll pass out. I watered it down too so you won't get dehydrated," she said matter-of-factly. Just as Greg was about to argue, Catherine added, "And don't either of you bitch about it. Just drink it and eat your food."

Everyone smiled for the first time since they had found Nick and Greg in the bunker.

Half an hour later, the food was completely gone, and they had nothing to do but sit on the chairs and blankets Catherine had brought and make small talk. Nick and Greg explained what had happened to them as best as they could before falling asleep again on one of the blankets in the small space of shade the overhanging roof of the bunker provided. Brass, Catherine, Warrick, Grissom and Archie were sitting in a half circle in beach chairs surrounding them protectively. The officer was standing outside the police cruiser that was holding Lanser captive, and suffering from the heat inside the vehicle.

"There has to be a way around this fence," Warrick said, thinking out loud.

Archie sighed. "Not one I can find. The favor I called in at the Seattle Institute of Technology should be here in a few hours. They're sending an old friend of mine, Luke Hayes. If anyone can figure this thing out, he can. He practically invented it."

"I don't understand why he did this," Catherine said as she stared at Lanser, who was staring back at them.

"Nick said it was because he wanted to prove a point," Grissom replied. "He wanted to show that no love is greater than self-love."

Brass sighed. "Too bad he hadn't met Nick and Greg before he thought that that was true."

Warrick nodded in agreement. "He still doesn't even realize that they wouldn't be able to kill anyone, let alone each other. Why did he chose them anyway?"

"Who knows why people, especially people like Lanser, do anything anymore," Grissom said.

Catherine looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You don't have a scientific explanation for this?"

Grissom shook his head. "Sometimes there isn't one."

"Maybe the explanation isn't scientific," Warrick said.

He didn't need to elaborate on what he meant. Everyone understood, and had been thinking it themselves, but had waited for someone else to say it out loud. No one wanted to consider the possibility that Lanser had done this because Nick and Greg were a gay couple. They didn't understand how anyone could see a problem with it, but that was because Nick and Greg were their friends. They were happy for them and couldn't care less. Unfortunately, that wasn't how everyone saw it. Warrick had actually once gotten suspended for beating someone up outside of the lab because they were taunting Nick and Greg for being gay. No one wanted to believe that that was the case this time, but it was starting to become difficult to think otherwise when there was no other explanation.

"I'm surprised Nicky didn't fight back sooner," Brass said, drawing everyone's attention back to the two sleeping men.

Catherine shook her head slowly. "He wouldn't risk getting Greg hurt."

Greg was snuggled up against Nick's right side with his head resting on Nick's slowly rising and falling chest. They were both sleeping peacefully, which was a relief to their friends that they were finally able to get some rest while help was on its way.

"I don't get why Lanser didn't just kill them when he had the chance," Grissom said.

"Way to be a Debbie Downer Gris," Warrick said, keeping his eyes on his friends, just in case.

Grissom rolled his eyes at his CSI, even though Warrick couldn't see that. "I'm obvsiously glad he didn't. But that was his intention all along. He made that clear in the note he left. He had a lot of chances. Why didn't he just do it?"

"He was waiting for them to do it to each other," Brass answered, then grinned widely. "Hey, I like this. Grissom being the one who asks the questions and me being the one who comes up with the brilliant response."

"Don't get used to it," replied a sleep-laced voice with a Texan accent.

Everyone's attention turned back to Nick and Greg. Nick's eyes were still closed, but that changed after a moment. He slowly opened his eyes, but remained laying down. He looked up at his friends who were encircling him and Greg on the blanket.

"It looks like you guys are tail-gating," he said sleepily.

Brass laughed slightly. "All we need now is a cooler full of beers."

"I have no problem with that," Nick said, waking up a little more with each passing second.

"No," Catherine immediately said. "You don't need anymore alcohol."

"Damn it Greg," Nick muttered, cursing his boyfriend for accidentally ratting him out about the half bottle of vodka he drank to try and numb the pain of the iron.

"What did I do?" Greg asked as his eyes fluttered open and met Nick's. "I was sleeping the whole time dude."

"You told them about the vodka," Nick said.

Greg became more confused. "There's vodka? Where?"

Nick laughed slightly. "The bottle I drank to numb my shoulder so you could burn me with the iron, remember?"

Greg yawned as he nodded. "Oh, yeah, that vodka. How is that my fault again?"

Nick rolled his eyes. "Never mind."

Greg laughed slightly. "You're such a dork," he said, his voice starting to lose its heaviness from sleep. "Has Lanser said anything else?" he asked.

Grissom shook his head. "No. We don't want to talk to him, and he doesn't want to talk to us."

"That's not entirely true sir," the officer said, appearing behind Brass from his previous post outside the cruiser. "He wants to talk to Nick. Alone. On the other side of the bunker."

"Absolutely not," Brass immediatly replied. "Is he stupid?"

"Yes," Nick said. "But maybe he wants to tell me something important."

Catherine frowned. "You're not actually considering talking to that lunatic by yourself, are you?" she asked.

Greg groaned. "Of course he is. He has to make everything as difficult as he possible can and make everyone as worried as humanly acceptable."

"I love you too," Nick said sarcastically. "Seriously, what if he tells me something important? Or what if I can get something out of him that can get us out of here?"

"Only if he allows you to stay in sight," Brass said after thinking for a moment. "We'll be out of ear-shot, but i want to be able to see you. I'm not taking any chances."

The officer relayed this information to Lanser, who agreed. Everyone except Greg was to go to the other side of the bunker and into the desert one hundred yards, where they could still clearly see both Nick and Lanser, but hear nothing they said. Greg had to remain where he was because he couldn't cross the fence and Lanser wanted him out of Nick's sight so he wouldn't influence the Texan in any way.

So there they stood, Nick and Lanser, on the opposite side of the bunker up against the hot wall. Out of the corner of his left eye, Nick could see his friends standing by, watching closely. Neither one of them had spoken, but Lansers soon changed that.

"Don't you miss women?" he asked suddenly.

Nick shok his head in confusion. "What?"

"You've been with Greg for a very long time," Lanser explained, as if Nick hadn't known that himself. "And I know for a fact that you have never cheated on him. So for the last six years, you've only had sex with Greg."

Nick hated the fact that Lanser knew that. He hated the fact that that man had been 'studying' him and Greg for so long and knew so much about them. But he couldn't know everything about them, and Nick was planning on using that to his advantage.

"What's your point?" Nick asked.

"Do you miss being with women?" Lanser asked again. "You don't have to be gay to understand that sex with women is different than sex with men."

Nick fought back the urge to roll his eyes. "No, I don't miss it. Why would I?"

"So you're saying sex with Greg is better than that of any other woman?"

Nick nodded. "That's what I'm saying."

"Why is that?"

"Because I love him," Nick replied.

"Do you?" Lanser asked coyly.

Nick sighed. "You know I do. Everyone knows I do. Where are you going with this?"

"I'm just trying to get to you think about everything you've been missing by being with him."

"I'm not missing out on anything."

"Okay," Lanser said acceptingly. "Greg probably isn't either."

"What do you mean?" Nick asked. He knew he would probably regret asking that, but he did anyway.

"Have you ever been suspicious of Greg cheating on you?" Lanser asked.

"No," Nick answered honestly. "He would never do that."

"Are you sure about that?" Lanser asked, a smile starting to play across his lips.

Nick nodded definitively. "Yes, I'm sure. I trust him."

"What would you do if you found out that he had cheated on you?"

"I wouldn't do anything," Nick replied. "I wouldn't be happy about it, but I wouldn't break up with him. I love him too much. He could do anything he wants to me. I'm always going to love him."

"Then why won't you save him?" Lanser asked.

"I've been trying to," Nick said. "You keep fucking things up."

"There's a very easy way to get around this Nick," Lanser said. "Take four steps towards your friends. By the time they realize what's going on and make it over here, you'll be dead, and Greg will be free to go."

"I'm not giving up," Nick responded. "There has to be a way around this fence, and we'll figure it out, then both me and Greg will be able to get back to our lives."

"What if there isn't?" Lanser asked. "What if this is your only chance? Because we both know that neither Greg nor your friends will allow you to take your own life to save Greg's. Think about it. If you love him so much, you'd do this for him."

Nick shook his head slowly. "He would never forgive me if I did that," he said. "It would cause him too much pain."

Lanser's smile kicked in full swing. "If you take the pain out of love, then love can't exist."


	13. Willingness to Give In

"Why are you doing this?" Nick asked as he felt tears begin to sting his eyes.

Lanser shrugged innocently. "I'm trying to help you."

"By telling me to kill myself," Nick said.

Lanser nodded. "That's the only way out. This, right now, is your only chance. Pretty soon Brass and Warrick are going to become impatient and come get you because they don't trust me. This is your last chance to save Greg, and you know that. Do you want him to die too?"

"No," Nick said softly, shaking his head.

"Are you willing to give your own life to save him?"

Nick nodded. "Yes."

"Now's your chance to do just that. You say you love him so much and all that, so prove it. Have you ever proved it to him?"

Nick frowned in confusion. "Yeah."

Lanser scoffed. "You don't seem too positive about that Nick. Sure the two of you have 'made love' multiple times. But I'm sure to you, it was just fucking."

"No it wasn't," Nick said, shaking his head. "I love him, I wasn't with him just for sex. You don't stay with someone for six years just for the sex."

"If it was really good you would," Lanser said, and he was amused at seeing the frustration on Nick's face. "Other than that, what else have you done to prove that you love him?"

"I told my parents that I was dating him," Nick said. "Then they disowned me for it, but I'm still with him."

"But you lied to him about it," Lanser added. "You didn't tell him right away. So that doesn't really count. So what have you ever done for Greg to truly prove that you love him?"

Nick was getting sick of this real fast. His head hurt, his shoulder hurt, and his legs were starting to hurt from standing so long after all the torture his body had been through. His chest hurt from the electroshock therapy days before and the seizures he had had from whatever the hell Lanser had hooked up to his heart. And to make it all worse, his heart was hurting even worse because he didn't know what to do. He had come close to taking his own life before, but that would have only benefited him. This time, it would benefit Greg. It would save his life for certain. Nick could wait to see if Archie's friend could get around it, but what if he couldn't? Lanser was right; no one was going to let Nick kill himself for Greg to go free. This was truly his only chance to ensure that Greg would make it out of this alive, and Nick knew he loved him enough to give his own life for him.

"Why don't you just let us both go?" Nick asked, trying to buy himself some more time. "Just turn the stupid fucking fence off, do whatever you have to do, just let us go."

"You know as well as I do that one of you isn't going to make it out of this alive. Are you willing to risk having Greg not be the one who makes it out?" Lanser asked. Nick shook his head weakly. "I didn't think so. So do what you have to do, now, before you lose your only chance."

Nick quickly chanced a look over at his friends, who were starting to look as anxious as Nick was feeling. He looked back at Lanser, who was smiling at him.

"You've made up your mind," Lanser said, not asking a question. Nick nodded very slowly. "You look like you'd be a pretty good actor. But I guess we're about to find out for sure."

Nick didn't offer a response. He didn't offer anything. He ran his hands over his face and the back of neck and started pacing back and forth next to the wall. Everytime he turned around to walk the other way, he took an unoticable step away from the wall, gradually increasing his distance from it. Lanser only noticed it because he knew what Nick was doing and was waiting for it. To everyone watching from one hundred yards away, it appeared that Nick was just frustrated and anxious, which wasn't too far from the truth.

"Something's wrong," Warrick said, thinking out loud. "Nick never paces."

"Are they still talking?" Catherine asked.

Warrick shook his head. "I don't know, it's too hard to tell. But Nick never paces. Something's not right."

"Nick would wave us over if something was wrong," Grissom said.

"He wouldn't hang around with Lanser unless he had to," Brass agreed. "He's probably just thinking."

Warrick kept shaking his head. "Nick doesn't pace when he's thinking. He doesn't do that. Something's wrong with him that he doesn't want us to know, but knows we can see him."

"Then why is he pacing?" Catherine asked. "He knows that you know him better than he knows himself. He knows you'd pick up on it."

"Maybe he wants me to," Warrick said. "Maybe he's trying to get my attention without Lanser realizing it. I don't know what he's doing, but something's not right."

Nick turned around and took another step out, and that's when he felt it. His chest got tight and his upper body started shaking. Lanser had been right; this seizure wasn't as bad as the first two, but it was still hurting. Nick was still able to stand though, so he continued to walk so that his friends wouldn't get suspicious. He kept pacing for a few more minutes before his knees started to shake and it was getting too hard to breathe. It felt like his heart was being twisted over and over again. The pain finally became too much, and Nick unwillingly collapsed onto the ground, clutching his aching chest.

Warrick had started running towards Nick three seconds before he had collapsed. No one followed him until they saw Nick fall to the ground, then they all took off. It was extremely hot out and it wasn't easy to run across the sand of the desert. As they drew nearer, they saw just how badly Nick was shaking. He was pressing his right hand against his chest and his left arm was wrapped tightly around his waist. Catherine, Brass, Archie and Grissom ran as fast as they could to catch up to Warrick as he ran to Nick, who was dying at Lanser's feet.

Nick kept his eyes squeezed shut as tightly as he could. Nothing he was doing was easing the pain. His chest felt like someone was standing on it, and his stomach was starting to hurt just as bad. He heard his friends running towards him, yelling his name. It seemed odd to Nick that even though they were running towards him, their voices were growing fainter with each passing second.

If he had to guess, Nick would say that he had been past the boundary of the fence for about three minutes. Lanser had said it would take five for it to kill them, but Nick was assuming that it would take less given the state his body was already in. He could feel his lungs fighting to take air in and his heart was beating slower and slower with each breath he released. By the time Warrick slid to the ground next to him, Nick had already passed out from lack of oxygen and blood to his brain.

Warrick wasted no time in grabbing hold on Nick and dragging him back towards the wall. He had his friend laying up against the cool concrete when Catherine, Brass, Grissom and Archie ran up to join them. Brass threw Lanser to the ground and held him there while everyone else attended to Nick.

"Why is he still shaking?" Catherine asked frantically.

"His body's doing it on its own," Grissom responded. "It effected him past a certain point, where now it's not up to where he is. The fence isn't shocking him anymore, but it shocked him enough so that he can't recover."

"Nicky!" Warrick yelled as he grabbed Nick's hand and squeezed it firmly. "Wake up man. Come on Nick, wake up. Open your eyes Nicky!"

"What did you do him?" Brass asked Lanser. Lanser just laughed. Brass grabbed the back of his neck and pushed his head down into the ground below him. "What the hell did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything," Lanser said. "He did this to himself."

Greg had come around the corner of the bunker just in time to hear Lanser say what he just had. He had heard everyone yelling on the other side, and his curiosity had gotten the best of him. So he had gone around to the other side only to see Nick laying up against the wall, shaking and unconscious. The sight hadn't even had time to sink in before he heard Lanser say that he hadn't done this to Nick, but that Nick had done it to himself.

"What do you mean?" Greg asked as he fell to his knees next to Nick beside Warrick. "What do you mean?" he repeated when Lanser didn't say anything.

"He tried to kill himself," Lanser answered. "He knew this was his only chance to do it, so he took it. He made it look like he was just walking around, but he purposely went past the fence and let it shock him. He was trying to kill himself."

Greg shook his head frantically. "He wouldn't do that."

"Yes he would," Lanser said, "and he did. He's going to die in a few minutes, and there's nothing you can do."

Brass hauled Lanser to his feet and threw him to the officer who had also come to see what was going on. Lanser was escorted back to his car, away from the scene unfolding on the ground next to the bunker.

"His pulse is getting weaker," Warrick reported as he held his fingers against Nick's wrist.

Greg ran his hand through Nick's hair. "Wake up Nick," he said weakly. "Please wake up. You can't die Nicky, you can't die. Wake up. Please wake up."

"It's getting stronger," Warrick said suddenly as silence was starting to take over.

Greg pressed his ear to Nick's chest. "I can hear his heart beating. It's quiet and slow, but it's beating."

"He'll stop shaking soon," Grissom said.

"Why isn't he awake?" Greg asked, looking down at Nick sadly.

"His body tried to shut itself down, so it'll take a while for him to get the energy back up to be awake. He'll wake up in a little while," Grissom said, soothing everyone's nerves.

"Lanser probably tricked him into doing this," Brass said angrily.

Greg shook his head slowly. "Nick was planning this as soon as Lanser said one of us was going to have to die. He was just waiting to the chance to do it," he said sadly as he stood slowly.

"Let's get him back to the other side and onto the blanket," Warrick said, quickly changing the subject.

Warrick, Grissom, Brass and Archie carefully carried Nick back to the other side of the bunker and laid him down on the blanket before pouring some water over his face to keep him cool in the hot sun. Greg stayed behind, as did Catherine to make sure he was okay.

"I can't believe he did that," Greg said softly.

"He did it because he loves you," Catherine said as she gently put her hand on Greg's slightly trembling arm.

"If he loves me, then why was he trying to leave me? Why did he try to kill himself when he knew how much it would hurt me?"

"You know he loves you," Catherine said. "He loves you so much, he was trying to save you. He's willing to give his life for you to be okay."

Greg hung his head as tears fell from his eyes. "I could never be okay without him."


	14. Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me

Nick finally woke up two hours later, and after the eleventh time that Warrick had poured water over his face. His eyes fluttered open slowly, and he immediatly felt the dull pain in his chest throbbing slowly. Every breath he took stung a little bit, his muscles felt heavy, and he was fairly dizzy. Nick sat up slowly, with some help from Catherine, and ran his hands over his face several times before his vision finally cleared enough for him to look around at his friends. The looks on their faces reminded him of what had happened, and he immediatly wished that he was either asleep again, or anywhere else in the world than where he was right now.

"How are you feeling?" Grissom asked.

Nick shrugged. "Okay I guess."

"Considering you tried to kill yourself," Warrick said harshly. "What were you thinking?"

"Where's Greg?" Nick asked, ignoring his best friend's concern for him. When no one answered, Nick stood up slowly. "Where is he? He couldn't have gone far. I'll go looking for him if i have to, but you could save me a lot of time if you just tell me where he is."

"He doesn't want to see you Nicky," Catherine said softly. "He's still upset over what...almost happened."

"Where is he?" Nick asked for the third time.

"On the other side," Warrick said, pointing with his finger. "He hasn't moved since he went around to see what all the comotion was about when we were trying to wake you up."

"He...he saw?" Nick asked. Warrick nodded slowly. "How much did he see?"

Warrick sighed. "He saw you shaking on the ground and heard Lanser when he told us that you tried to kill yourself. He hasn't moved since. He wouldn't come back over here because he said he couldn't look at you."

Warrick had barely had time to get the last syllable out before Nick started walking to the other side of the bunker. The sun was starting to go down behind the rolling hills in the distance, casting everything in a bright red, calming glow. It hadn't even taken Nick a minute to walk along the side wall of the bunker and round the corner on the left to get to the back wall, where he found Greg sitting on the ground with his back against the concrete barrier behind him. His knees were against his chest, and his pale, skinny arms were resting on his knees. His his were overlapping one another, and were shaking slightly. Nick approached slowly, and when his prescence became known to Greg, the younger man stood and faced Nick, waiting for him to draw closer.

Nick hadn't even gotten to think of what he wanted to say before he felt Greg's fist collide with his jawbone. Nick was surprised and taken off guard. He stumbled back a bit, and then Greg hit him again in the chest, sending Nick back against the wall. Greg's hands were shaking and his punches became less painful as his body became wracked with sobs. Nick kept his hands pinned down by his side and stared into Greg's eyes, watching as the rage and hate slowly drained out and was replaced by pain and guilt.

"Why did you try to kill youself?" Greg tried to yell, but his voice was so weak it came out as a whisper.

"Greg-" Nick started, but was cut off by his boyfriend punching him in the chest. Again.

"Answer the question Nick," he said. "Why did you try to kill yourself?"

"To save you," Nick said, and in reply, Greg hit him again. After catching his breath, Nick elaborated. "I thought it was my only chance to guarantee your safety. I kept thinking, what if Archie's friend can't find a way around it? What if we both end up having to die? I didn't think that was fair. You deserve to live more than I do. I was trying to make sure you were going to be safe."

"So you just walked across the line, hoping that you'd die before anyone could stop you?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah, that was the plan."

Greg punched Nick again. "What about me Nick? How did you expect me to be able to live knowing the fact that you killed yourself to save me? How can you think that I'd be able to move on after that?"

"I just wanted to-"

"Do you know why I tell you that I love you at least five times a day?" Greg asked, ignoring the fact that Nick had begun to speak. When Nick didn't offer a response, Greg continued. "It's because I'm so fucking scared that it's going to be the last time I see you. I'm so scared that at any momemt, I'll lose you forever, and I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want the last thing you hear me say to be the one thing that comes remotely close to describing how I feel about you."

"I wasn't trying to hurt you," Nick said softly. His chest was tight because of the punches from Greg and the things that he was saying. "I was trying to save you. I love you so much that I would give my life to make sure that you were going to be safe."

"I don't want to be safe if it means I can't be with you," Greg said.

Nick carefully took Greg's shaking hands in his own steady ones. "When we started dating, it was the best time of my life because for the first time, I didn't have to pretend to be happy. I could finally fall asleep at night peacefully because the reality of waking up next to you was better than any dream I could ever have."

"Then why were you trying to leave me?" Greg asked as tears started to fall from his eyes.

"I wasn't trying to leave you," Nick said, gently pulling Greg against him. "I was trying to keep you alive. I felt helpless and thought I was left with no other choice."

Greg shook his head slowly. "Everyone that has ever told me that they would always be there for me has left me. I never thought you'd do it too."

"I'm still here," Nick said.

"For how long?" Greg asked. "Until everyone falls asleep and you can sneak off to die alone in the middle of the desert?"

The sun was now almost completely behind the hills, and the lack of light was casting shadows across Greg's pale face. His hair looked darker than it ever had, and his eyes were almost black. His eyelashes seemed to extend longer and thinner all the way up his forhead, but they were merely shadows. Nick looked down at the sandy ground at his own shadow. It was standing by itself. Greg's shadow was on the other side of them; Nick's on the left, Greg's on the right. They were torn apart, standing alone. But they were merely shadows.

"Something's wrong if I care about you more than you care about yourself," Greg said, breaking the impending silence. "If I can't trust you with your own heart, how can I trust you with mine?"

Nick looked back up into Greg's dark eyes. "I would never intentionally hurt you," Nick whispered.

"That's what makes this so hard," Greg replied, taking his hands away from Nick's. "You never know when you are."

Greg leaned forward and pressed his lips against Nick's. Just as Nick was going to draw Greg in deeper, the younger man pulled away and looked at Nick sadly.

"So do you mean..." Nick trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud.

"I mean I'm leaving this entirely up to you. I'm going to go back to our team. Our friends. Our family. You can follow me, you can stay here, or you can take four steps forward and finish what you started," Greg said slowly. "But whatever you do, you need to know that I love you, and you need to understand why I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Nick asked, knowing immediatly that he'd regret it.

The last traces of the vanishing sun reflected off the tears flowing down Greg's cheeks. "This," Greg whispered so softly that Nick almost hadn't heard him.

Greg turned and slowly walked away, heading back the way Nick had come. As Greg turned the corner, the sun finally disappeared behind the hills, making everything else as hard to see and comprehend as what Greg had just said to Nick.


	15. Never Too Late

Nick didn't care that his whole body hurt. He didn't care that he could barely see where he was going. He didn't care that his friends were on the other side of the bunker, worried sick about both him and Greg. He didn't care that his head was spinning or that he could barely breathe. All Nick cared about was stopping Greg from walking away from him. So as soon as Greg rounded the corner, Nick took off after him, rounding the very same corner soon enough to still be able to see Greg starting to fade into the darkness.

"So that's it?" Nick said in his normal speaking voice, and it had apparently been loud enough because Greg stopped walking at the edge of Nick's visibility in the dark. "After everything we've been through, you're just going to walk away on me?"

Greg knew that Nick couldn't see well in the dark, especially now since he had had his contacts in for however many days it had been now. He knew he was standing far enough away from Nick and that it was dark enough out so that Nick wouldn't be able to see his facial expression or be able to see that his hands were shaking by his side. Greg was thankful for this fact, so he stayed right where he was, and so did Nick.

"Don't try to make this my fault," Greg said. "You tried to walk away on me. For good. You tried to give up Nick, not me. You left me no choice."

"Yes I did," Nick replied. "I've always given you a choice. You never had to be with me in the first place if you didn't want to. You've always had a choice. This isn't any different."

"You're wrong," Greg said, his voice wavering slightly. "After everything we've gone through, you were willing to give up. You wanted to end it the easy way and kill yourself."

"To save you," Nick said. "That's what I was trying to do. I was trying to save you because I love you."

Greg shook his head slowly, but he knew Nick couldn't tell. "If you really loved me, then you would have understood that you killing yourself would be enough to kill me as well. If you really loved me, then you'd understand why I can't do this, why I can't be with someone who's willing to leave me to suffer by myself."

Nick threw his hands in the air in frustration. "So now you think I don't love you?"

"Maybe you never have," Greg said quietly, but Nick still heard him.

Nick laughed humorlessly. "There ya go Greg, you figured it out. The last six years I've spent with you has been a complete and total joke to me. I never cared about you, not at all. I just had sex with you and lived with you for the hell of it."

"Stop," Greg said softly.

"Everything I ever told you was a lie," Nick said, ignoring Greg. "You're not the most amazing person I've ever met. You're the least fun person to be around, and the last six years have been the worst of my life."

"Stop," Greg repeated, louder this time.

Nick kept going. "You figured me out Greg. I like to play practical jokes on people that last for six straight years. And I'm a great actor, because I actually had you convinced that I loved you. You mean nothing to me Greg, nothing at all."

"Stop!" Greg yelled, and Nick finally stopped. Greg's heart was racing so fast that it was causing him to be short of breath. "Why the fuck would you say that to me?"

Nick didn't answer. He just stood there, strainging his eyes to see Greg clearly. As it grew even darker, it became an impossible feat, so Nick began walking closer to Greg. Nick knew the younger man could hear him drawing closer, and it provided the Texan some confidence when Greg didn't move at all. He didn't try to turn around and keep his distance from Nick. Nick closed the gap betweem him and Greg until they were only about three feet apart so that now both men could see each other as clear as if it were daylight.

"Why would you ever think that I've never loved you?" Nick asked.

"Why else would you try to kill yourself when you know damn well how much that would hurt me?"

"Because I was trying to save you," Nick replied for what he thought was the hundreth time that night.

Greg shook his head. "I don't know what to do. I never thought you'd do that. I never thought you'd try to give up like that. I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

"That's bullshit," Nick said softly. He could feel tears beginning to sting his tired eyes. "Lanser had me all confused, and I was scared to death an-"

"You don't think I'm scared?" Greg asked, cutting Nick off. "I'm more scared now than I've ever been in my entire life. But having you with me has helped more than you will ever know. I just don't know what to do."

"You don't need to do anything," Nick said, "except answer this question. Do you want to be with me?" Before Greg could answer, Nick added, "Forget about our current situation. Forget about the fact that there's a very good chance that we won't make it out of this alive. Do you want to spend your possible last hours with me, knowing that I love you, or would you rather spend them hating me? Because I can't handle seeing you, knowing I hurt you and that you hate me. So tell me you want to be with me and let me make this up to you. If not, just tell me it's okay to die."

"I don't want you to die," Greg said sadly. "I don't want you to want to die."

"Then what do you want?" Nick asked.

"You," Greg said simply. "You're the only thing I want. You're the only thing I've ever wanted."

Nick took Greg's hands in his, holding them firmly and successfully got them to stop shaking. "You have me. You've always had me."

"You tried to give up," Greg said, his voice being choked by the tears falling from his eyes. "You tried to give up on me. On us."

Nick pulled Greg closer to him. "No I didn't. I could never give up on us, on you. I could never give up on something I can't go thirty seconds without thinking about."

Greg opened his mouth to speak, but Nick continued. "I know that what I've put you through isn't what you deserve. Not just this, but everything I've ever done. I never meant to hurt you. Ever. I've fucked up a lot in my life, and I've lost a lot of things that meant a lot to me. But nothing's meant as much to me as you do. My whole life, I tried to be perfect because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. I know I'm not perfect, and I know I never will be, and I used to care about that. But when I'm with you, I don't care about anything other than you."

Greg closed his mouth and dropped his eyes to his hands being held in Nick's. The older man kept talking.

"I love you Greg. You know that. You've known that for longer than I have." Greg laughed softly and looked up at Nick. "People have tried to tell me that it's wrong to love you, that there's no reason why I should. I don't need a reason to love you, but if it came down to it, I have about a thousand I could offer as a response if someone needed to know."

"What if this is it?" Greg asked, his voice shaking. "What if we're going to die Nick?"

"What if we're not?" Nick replied. "What if Archie's friend can fix this? We've been through so much and made it so far, we can't give up hope now. That's what Lanser wants. He wants us to hate each other and lose all hope that we can make it out of this. It's too late for us to give up."

Greg shook his head for about the tenth time. "That makes no sense Nick."

Nick smiled. "When do I ever make sense?"

"Never, especially when you're pretty hungover from drinking a bottle of vodka after being shot, then having your wound cauterized, then trying to shock yourself to death," Greg responded. "I just...can't believe you were really going to kill yourself."

Nick never broke eye contact with Greg, even though it was breaking his heart to look into those sad eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I really I am. I love you, and I know you know that. But this is up to you. I can't make you stay with me if you don't want to anymore."

"Yes you can," Greg said. "You could make me do anything you wanted. That fact used to scare me, but I'm used to it now and I know you wouldn't make me do something I didn't want to."

"I'm not going to make you do anything," Nick replied. "This is entirely up to you. I messed up. Again. Do whatever you want to Greg."

"I wish I didn't have to do anything," Greg said, the tears that had been building up in his eyes now falling freely down his face. "I wish this had never happened. This whole thing is a fucking mess. I don't want to do anything."

Nick tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but to no avail. "Do you want me to decide for you?"

Greg frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You can go back there," Nick said, motioning with his head to where their friends were, "and I'll run into the desert until I can't run anymore. I'll be dead by the time anyone can find me, and you can go home."

"Then what?" Greg asked rhetorically, but he should have known Nick would answer.

"You forget me. It's that simple," Nick replied.

The anger from before returned to Greg's eyes. "What part of 'I don't want you to kill yourself' don't you understand Nick?"

"The only thing you seem to know for sure is that you want me alive," Nick said, "which is more than I can say for myself."

Greg ripped his hands from Nick's. "This is what I can't do. Deal with this. Deal with you when you're like this. You're never like this, but for some reason you are right now. You don't care about anything."

"I care about you," Nick argued.

"Do you blame me that I don't believe you?"

"Yes," Nick said, "I do. Because you know me better than you know yourself. You know that I would never lie to you. I have never lied to you."

"What about all those fights we got in because I wanted you to tell your family about us, but you already had?" Greg asked, and Nick hung his head in defeat. "The thing about you I hate the most is that you never try to hurt me, but you never know when you are."

Nick looked up at Greg. "Under normal circumstances, if you wanted to break up with me, I'd let you. I seriously would because I would believe that that's what you wanted."

"So now you're going to tell me what I want?" Greg asked.

"Yes, I am. Because you don't know."

"And you do?"

Nick nodded. "I know that ever since the lab explosion and then the beating those jackasses gave you, people keep telling me that the only time they see you smiling and laughing for real is when you're with me. I know that I can get your hands to stop shaking just by holding them in mine. I know that your favorite pillow is my chest. And I know that you want to trust me because you love me, but you're scared to trust me because you know I'm willing to do whatever it takes to save you."

Greg wanted to speak, but he couldn't. All words were lost as he stood there, starting into Nick's eyes that were telling him that everything he was saying was true.

"I know it's not enough to say that I was wrong, and I know that you would miss me if I was gone. But I'm still right here, and the only thing that can change that now is you. If you want me, you've got me. If you want to-"

"Don't finish that sentence," Greg said, cutting Nick off. "I don't want you to kill yourself, okay? I love you. I love you. I love you. I want you alive. I know that doesn't make sense to you, but it's true. I love you and I want you alive. I want Archie's friend to get here and find a way around this stupid fucking fence thing so we can go home and sleep. Okay?"

Nick nodded slowly. "Okay," he said softly.

"Okay," Greg whispered before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Nick's as he looped his fingers through to belt loops on Nick's jeans.

Normally, Nick was the one who pinned Greg up against walls because he was stronger than Greg, and Greg never minded. But now, Greg was the one pinning Nick against the wall of the bunker, kissing him with everything he had.

Nick didn't mind. He didn't mind at all.


	16. Over Again

Greg held Nick up against the wall and kissed him as hard as he could for as long as he could, which given the current battered state of their bodies wasn't as long as they would have liked. They finally had to pull apart, and when they did, Greg could feel a difference in Nick's muscles that were pressed against his body. Nick felt weak and he was shaking slightly. Greg noticed that he was practically holding the other man up. Greg stared at Nick, who had his eyes shut tightly and was breathing quite heavily, trying somewhat desperately to catch his breath.

"Nicky," Greg whispered, but Nick didn't acknowledge him. "Are you okay?"

Nick nodded weakly. "I just feel tired," he said, his voice quiet and distant. "I'm sorry Greg."

"I know honey," Greg said. "It's okay. I forgive you."

"I'm sorry Greg," Nick repeated, as if Greg had never responded.

Greg frowned in slight confusion. He pulled himself against Nick again and rested his chin on Nick's shoulder so he could whisper in his ear. "It's okay Nicky, I forgive you," he said louder.

Nick tensed as he said for a third time, "I'm sorry Greg." His body seemed as though it was trying harder to get its point across, but his voice was as weak as when he had first spoken.

Greg pulled back so he could look at Nick. The older man's eyes were still closed, but his breathing was starting to slow. "Nicky," Greg said as he gently shook Nick's shoulders. "Open your eyes."

It took a few more shakes for Nick to open his eyes and look back at Greg with complete and utter confusion on his face. "I'm sorry Greg," Nick said again.

"It's okay Nicky," Greg said, the fear that was starting to build choking him slightly. "What's wrong?"

Nick stared at Greg like he did when Greg spoke Norwegian. "I...I can't hear you Greg," Nick said in defeat. "I can't hear you. I can't hear me. Am I talking right now? Why Can't I hear anything? What's going on?"

Nick started shaking more and Greg saw his breathing quicken. Greg felt his heart begin to race from pure fear. He had no idea what was going on and why Nick was suddenly unable to hear. It seemed as if he was going into shock, but Greg thought he had already gone through that. Greg firmly took Nick's hands in his own and slowly pulled him down so Nick was sitting with his back against the wall as he kneeled in front of him. He held into Nick's hands tightly as the Texan stared at him with dark brown eyes full of fear.

"Guys!" Greg yelled as loud as he could. "Come here! I need your help!"

Greg heard everyone on the other side of the bunker start running, but he didn't look for them. He kept his eyes locked with Nick's that were slowly starting to flutter closed. Only a few seconds passed before Brass and Warrick kneeled down next to him, followed by Grissom and Catherine gathering behind him, leaning over to get a better view.

"What happened?" Warrick asked as Nick's eyes finally closed.

"He can't hear anything," Greg explained. "He kept saying sorry and I kept saying it was okay but he couldn't hear me so he kept saying it because he couldn't hear anything," he rambled.

Catherine squeezed Greg's shoulders gently. "It's okay Greg, just stay calm. Did this happen all of a sudden?"

Greg shook his head. "No. I kissed him and he was fine and everything then we stopped and his eyes were still closed and he started shaking and he couldn't hear and now his eyes are closed again."

"It's okay Greg," Warrick said, echoing Catherine. "He's gonna be alright."

"He's right," Grissom agreed. "He's just overtired. His body's still trying to adjust from the shock. He's lost a lot of weight and blood over the last few days and it's made him really weak. Al he needs is to sleep and drink water and get some sugar in him. He's going to be okay as long as he rests."

Greg turned to Grissom with tears in his eyes. "Really? He's not going to die?"

Grissom smiled reassuringly. "No, he's not. We just need to get him back to the other side and lay him down and give him something to eat when he wakes up. He's going to be fine."

Greg took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't know how much more of this I can take," he said sadly as he shook his head in despair.

"You won't have to do it for much longer Greg," Archie said as he appeared behind Catherine. Everyone turned to look at him questioningly. "Luke's here," the A/V tech explained. "He just pulled up. He's got a car full of guys and gear. It shouldn't take him too long to figure this thing out."

Grissom nodded. "Okay. Let's get Nick back over to the blankets and stuff and let Luke get to work as soon as possible. The sooner, the better."

Greg sat on the ground as Grissom, Brass, Warrick and Archie carried Nick over to the other side to take care of him, again. Greg stayed behind, again. He sat there, thinking about what had happened, again. He knew he wasn't by himself. He knew Catherine was still standing behind him, staying behind to make sure he was okay. Again.

"Why do bad things continuously happen to me? And to Nick?" Greg asked, thinking out loud.

Catherine sat down next to the younger CSI. "I don't know," she answered honestly."All I do know is that everything is going to be okay. One way or another, everything will be alright."

"What if it's not?" Greg said, turning to look at Catherine. "Between the two of us, we must have run out of second chances by now. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is where it ends."

"Don't think like that," Catherine said. "Don't give up."

Greg sighed. "If everything really were going to be okay, Nick would have made it okay a lot sooner. He would have fought back sooner, and he wouldn't have tried to kill himself. It shouldn't have had to come to that."

"He never fought back because he was too scared of getting you hurt," Catherine said. "He would rather suffer than risk anything bad happening to you. I know it's hard to understand, but he tried to kill himself to save you. Nick doesn't care what happens to him as long as you're okay."

Tears began falling from Greg's eyes. Again. "I know. I just...I don't know if we're going to make it out of this one. I have this feeling that something bad is going to happen."

"There's no way to know what's going to happen in the future," Catherine said. "All you can do is try your best at any given moment and never, ever give up."

Greg was quiet for a moment before he said, "Lanser told us that if you take the pain out of love, than love can't exist. Do you think that's true?"

Catherine shook her head. "Have you ever been in pain because you loved Nick?"

"Yes," Greg answered honestly.

"Would you still love him without ever having felt that pain?"

Greg nodded. "Of course I would have."

"Then love can exist without pain. Pain can't exist without love, but not the other way around."

Greg smiled for the first time in a long time. "Ya know, I think I'm going to come to you for philosophical advice instead of Grissom. You make a lot more sense than he does."

Catherine mirrored Greg's smile. "I've been telling people that for years."

* * *

Greg and Catherine returned to the other side of the bunker in time to hear Luke Hayes explaining what he was planning to do to deactivate the fence.

"As far as I can tell, it's mainframe is pressure sensitive," Luke said. "When Archie touched the wire, the guys were shocked, right?"

"Yeah," Archie answered. "I didn't pull it or anything, I just touched it."

Luke nodded. "Okay. So what needs to be done is we need to basically shut down it's sensory system. Without it, it won't be able to tell that the system is being manipulated, and more importantly, the devices connected to Nick and Greg's heart won't be able to sense any changed, and therefor won't be able to go off."

"How can you shut it off without shocking them?" Warrick asked.

"Honestly," Luke said with a sigh, "I don't know yet."

"At least you know what you need to do," Brass said, trying to keep everyone positive.

Grissom nodded in agreement. "It's going to be dark out for another couple of hours. Everything you need is in the bunker. Go ahead and get to work and let any of us know if you need anything, okay?"

Luke nodded. "Will do."

Luke and his team, Archie included, descended down into the bunker to get to work. Meanwhile, everyone else sat around the sleeping Nick. Again.

No one spoke. No one moved. They were all lost in their own thoughts, hoping that finding a way to shut down the sensors would be as easy as pulling a plug from the wall. _This guy is a specialist,_ they told themselves. _It's his job to know how to do this stuff. He'll figure it out. He has to figure it out._

While everyone else thought about what was going to happen, Greg sat there and thought about what was never going to happen. He was almost positive that they were going to die, and that he would never get to crawl into bed with Nick and fall asleep with him ever again. Nick looked like a completely different person because of what they had been through. Greg knew he probably looked different too; he sure as hell felt different. He felt horrible because of it, but Greg honestly didn't think that this was going to turn out well. He couldn't help it. After everything that had happened, it seemed to him that their luck was finally about to run out.

Greg was right. Again.

Just not in the way he thought he was.


	17. Calling All Angels

When Nick finally began to wake up, no one was around except Greg. Warrick and Catherine were helping a couple of Luke's guys go over blueprints of the bunker and Brass and Grissom were calling every power company they could to figure out who was supplying electricity to the bunker. Lanser wasn't talking, and no one else knew anything. Until they figured out where the power was coming from, and then where it was based, they couldn't do anything to shut down the sensory system.

Nick's eyes opened very slowly. When they were finally fully open, he laid very still, as if he thought that if he made a sudden motion, something would attack him. He stared straight up into the sky, which was a gorgeous mixture of orange and red thanks to the sun that was beginning to come up and light the surrounding area. Greg watched Nick as he laid there, perfectly still, for a very long time. The older man was barely breathing, his chest rising and falling ever so slightly. The only thing other than his chest that was moving was his eyelids when he blinked. Greg thought Nick was going to lay like that forever, not moving, just staring. But then Nick spoke.

"I lied to you," the Texan said.

Greg frowned, not understanding why he was supposed to know what Nick meant. "About what?"

"Lots of things," Nick answered. "I never wanted to. I didn't do it on purpose. I did it to protect you, because I love you."

Greg was looking at Nick, but Nick was looking at the changing colors of the sky. "What did you lie about?" he asked.

"Remember when we always fought about me not telling my parents about us?"

"You already told me that you told them about it," Greg said.

"I know that. What I didn't tell you was that about a year ago, they called me. My mom did. She said they were sorry and everything, and that they wanted to see me."

Greg shook his head slowly. "And?"

"And I told her to fuck off," Nick replied. "I told my mom to fuck off. Because I hate her and my dad and four out of five of my sisters for what they did to me. They didn't want to be my family anymore because I loved another man, so I didn't want to be their family anymore either. I don't need them. My brother Tommy didn't care, and neither did my youngest sister Jess. But everyone else did, so I didn't accept what they were offering as an apology."

"I don't care that you lied about that," Greg said. "I don't blame you."

"I lied again when I told you that I wasn't mad at you for not telling me you didn't love me when Lanser wanted you to so he wouldn't shock me."

"Slow down Nicky," Greg said. "You're rambling."

"I don't care," Nick said, and he continued. "Well, I wasn't mad at you, but I would have rather you just say it so he would have stopped shocking me. I would have known you were lying. I just didn't want you to feel bad."

"All of your 'lies' aren't a big deal Nick," Greg said. "Stop worrying about it."

Nick ignored the younger man. "I lied when I told you I quit smoking four years ago. I didn't. I still smoke. On the roof of the lab and out back on my nights off. I still do it, just not as much. I always get sick after because I know I'm lying to you. I tried to quit, it was just too hard."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Greg asked.

Nick ignored him again. "I lied when I told you the reason I was nervous to have sex with you was because I had never had sex with a guy before. That was true, but it wasn't the real reason. The real reason is because I had never had sex with someone without being completely drunk so that I don't realize what I was doing, or remember it after. I always had to do that because when I was nine, my babysitter molested me. She held me down and made me have sex with her. It hurt more than anything has ever hurt in my entire life, and I thought that sex always would hurt like that. I never trusted anyone, so I had to get drunk. I could never trust anyone enough to risk them hurting me like that, until I met you."

Greg stared at Nick in pure astonishment. He had no idea what to say or do. Luckily, Nick seemed to know exactly what to say and do. The older man turned his head so he was looking at Greg before he spoke again.

"I knew you wouldn't hurt me," Nick said. "I knew I could risk it because there was nothing to risk. I knew I loved you, and that was all that mattered. I didn't want to lie to you about that, I just didn't know how to tell you and was scared what you would think. I'm sorry Greg."

"None of that matters Nick," Greg said quietly. "It doesn't change anything."

"I just wanted you to know, so that if I die, you'll know."

Greg shook his head. "You aren't going to die."

"You don't know that," Nick replied. "I very well could."

"Do you want to?" Greg asked.

"Yes," Nick answered as if the response were set in his mind to automatic. "I want to stop hurting you, and apparently the only way to do that is to stay completely away from you. But that's impossible for me to do because I love you so much, so the only way to keep you safe from me is for me to be dead. But I don't care, because it's worth it."

"You're crazy, do you know that?" Greg said, and Nick silently nodded. "You have literally gone insane."

"It's about time," Nick said, and after a moment's pause he slowly sat up and turned to face Greg. "People always say love is never worth the pain, but sometimes it is. You're worth it."

"Then why do you want do die?"

"There's nothing left for me to give you," Nick answered.

"That's not true," Greg said, shaking his head. "You promised me you'd never leave me."

"I'm not going to," Nick said.

"Are you even listening to yourself? You say you want to die one minute, then the next you're telling me you would never leave me. Make up your fucking mind!" Greg exclaimed as he grew frustrated.

"I already did," Nick replied calmly. "A long time ago."

Greg took a few deep breaths before hesitantly asking, "What did you decide?"

"That if I ever had to do something to save you, I would do it no matter what the consequences were. Pain, suffering, death, jail time. Whatever it was, I made the choice to do it to save you. You're the reason I'm living Greg. I would do anything for you."

Greg nodded slowly. "Then stay alive for me. Don't give up, okay?"

When Nick didn't answer, Greg went over and sat right next to him and took the older man's hands in his own without ever breaking eye contact with him.

"I won't give up if you don't give up," Greg said quietly. "Don't give up Nick."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry this chapter was shorter than most and took an embarrassing amount of time to get posted. I apologize for the length at which it takes me to update, but I promise I'm trying to get better at it.

I'm working on a new Nick-based story about how he deals with Warrick's death. I'll be taking a new approach to Nick, and to how he'll deal with losing his best friend.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I hope you're all still enjoying this story.


	18. Simplicity

Everyone was just standing in a large circle, looking around at each other. Nobody held anyone else's gaze for more than a moment before they shifted their eyes to somebody else. Luke and his team had returned from the bunker and joined Nick, Greg, Warrick, Grissom, Brass and Catherine in front of the bunker. The sun was now high above them, and the shade they were all huddled in wasn't doing much to protect them from the Vegas desert heat.

"So what's the verdict?" Grissom asked, even though he was almost certain he didn't want to know the answer.

Luke sighed heavily and dropped his eyes to the dusty ground. His team had worked tirelessly for hours on end, and they barely had anything to show for it. All he had was a theory, and a scary theory at that. He had waited and kept searching for another way before he even brought it up, but now it was clear that there was no other way, and if they were going to try anything, this would have to be it.

Luke looked back up at Grissom. "Not a good one," he answered honestly. "This is a more complex system than you'd see at a prison. The only feasible way around it is to short-circuit the system, because that's the only way to shut down the sensors. We basically need to blow the fuse."

Grissom nodded slightly. "How would we do that?"

"Both Nick and Greg would have to cross over, and then we'd have to pull the wire," Luke said. "I don't think it can sustain that amount of energy transmitting through it, and it would eventually shut itself down and cease to work."

Warrick joined in on the conversation by asking the question everyone else was too afraid to. "How long would it take for the system to shut itself down?"

"I don't know," Luke said. "It could take a few seconds, or a few minutes."

"We don't have a few minutes," Greg said. "It'll only take about four to kill us."

Nick shook his head. "It'll take less to kill me because I've been through it more and can't take as much. If I die before it shorts itself out, your sensor will turn off and you'll be able to go." Nick explained this to Greg before turning to Luke. "You already knew that."

Luke nodded slowly. "If it doesn't short out quick enough, you'll die and that'll shut Greg's off. Either you both live, or Nick dies."

"Then we're not doing it," Greg said, as if he got to make the final decision.

"We don't have any other choice," Nick argued. "There's no other way around this and you know that. We all do. We're going to have to take that chance."

"We can ask Lanser," Greg said, desperately trying to come up with another alternative.

"Yeah, he'll definitely tell us now," Nick said sarcastically. "Greggo, we have to do this, or we'll be stuck out here until I die anyway. I need to get to a hospital or I'll have a heart attack. We can take Luke's advice and try his idea and maybe I'll die, maybe I won't. But if we don't try it, I'll die anyway, and it'll be a lot more painful for both of us."

Catherine shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "Why does anyone have to die?"

"Maybe nobody does," Nick said. "How do we know it's not going to short out before I die?"

"How do you know it will?" Warrick asked.

"I don't. Nobody knows anything for sure. This is the theory behind that book Catch-22."

Greg rolled his eyes. "You're such a dork."

Nick smiled at his boyfriend. "I know." Nick's smile faltered as he continued. "We don't have any other choice. We have to do this, and soon."

Grissom nodded in agreement with Nick as he turned to Greg. "This is up to you though Greg. We can't force you to do this if you don't want to, but it does seem to be our only option."

"I'll call the paramedics back here with a defibrillator and anything else they think we'd need. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right," Brass said.

"They should bring heart monitors and gurneys with restraints," Luke said, "because they're going to be in a lot of pain but need to stay as still as possible so nothing will interfere with the sensors."

Everyone was quiet for a little while, letting it all sink in. Then Warrick broke the silence. "What's the quickest that the system would shut itself down?" he asked.

"Nothing under a minute," Luke said. "And nothing over four."

"Is there a way to make it go faster?" Warrick asked.

Luke shook his head. "Having both Nick and Greg's go off at the same time the wire's pulled is all we can do. That should be enough for it to short circuit, because it isn't made to have that much going on at once. But I guess we're going to find out for sure."

Before another silence settled over the circle, Greg turned to Nick and said, "I need to talk to you."

Nick frowned in confusion, but when he saw the look in Greg's eyes, he understood. Everyone else did as well. Greg took off around the bunker, with Nick following closely behind. Greg finally stopped at the other side, the side where Nick had tried to shock himself to save Greg. The sun was shining right on them with the safety of shade nowhere near. Greg pressed his back against the warm cement wall and closed his eyes, forcing a few tears to fall down his pale cheeks.

"I don't want you to die," he choked out quietly.

Nick stood in front of Greg helplessly. "I know, I don't want to die either," he said. Before Greg could retort, he continued. "But no matter what happens to me, you're strong enough to get through it."

Greg shook his head as he opened his eyes. "No I'm not."

"Yes you are," Nick said as he took Greg's hands into his own. "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have left. Everything we've been through, you were strong. You never lost it even when it was so easy to give in. You never gave up, and because of you, neither did I."

"But I was only strong because I have you. Without you, I'm nothing Nick. I'll go crazy without you."

Nick smiled softly. "You're crazy already." Greg rolled his eyes again before Nick continued. "Maybe we should do this a different way," he said carefully.

"Do what?" Greg asked.

"Well, seeing as how there's a much greater chance of me dying than you, you shouldn't have to suffer and go through so much pain."

"Stop," Greg said quickly. "That wouldn't work anyway. We need to put as much stress on the system as possible to make it short circuit. Stop trying to take the easy way out."

"I'm not," Nick said, shaking his head. "I'm trying to save you."

Greg shook his head slightly. "You keep saying that. What the hell does that even mean? How are you trying to save me when the way you want to save me would absolutely destroy me?"

"I don't want you to ever feel any pain," Nick answered simply, as if everyone already knew that was the answer to everything. "I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy," Greg said truthfully. "I'm happy because you're alive. I'm happy because I'm with you, because I love you with everything I have."

"I know," Nick whispered.

"Ya know," Greg said, "for such a smart guy, you're kind of an idiot when it comes to common sense. Why don't you ever think anything through before you do something?"

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks," Nick replied, eliciting a small smile from Greg. "Besides, I don't second guess myself when it involves you because when it comes to that, I'm playing for keeps."


	19. Hands Open

Nick and Greg stood side by side with their friends surrounding them protectively, even though there was nothing they could do to prolong the inevitable. They watched in complete silence as the paramedics set up for the occasion as Luke radioed his crew down in the bunker to stand by for him to tell them when to yank the wire. Everyone was getting extremely anxious, but no one wanted to say anything for fear that breaking the silence would physically hurt. No one said a word for a good ten minutes as they watched everyone else prepare. When the paramedics were ready and so was Luke and his crew, the silence was finally broken, by none other than Greg Sanders.

"If this ends up how all of us are afraid it's going to, then I'm going to kill Lanser," the ex lab-rat said as more of a statement than a request.

Brass chuckled softly. "I'm sure we could arrange something."

"Count me in," Warrick added.

Nick shook his head slowly. "This is going to be fine. It's going to work out perfectly."

Greg turned to face Nick. "Perfectly for who? You don't care what happens as long as I'm okay. You really don't seem to realize that you could die."

"I know I might," Nick replied, keeping his eyes on the waiting paramedics. "But everything is going to be okay."

"You don't know that," Greg said sadly.

Nick turned and looked into Greg's eyes. "Yes I do."

"How?"

Nick smiled and shrugged. "Because I know everything." Before Greg could refute his boyfriend, Nick turned around to Brass and Grissom and nodded slightly.

"Let's do it," Brass said with a small sigh.

Nick and Greg walked over to where the paramedics were standing by two gurneys with heart monitors next to them. An electric generator was powering all of the medical equipment, courtesy of another one of Archie's friends. Both Nick and Greg took off their shirts and laid down on the gurneys and allowed the paramedics to hook them up to a heart monitor each. They were then secured down to the gurneys so that they could barely move. They were only a mere two inches away from each other, but when Greg looked over at Nick, he seemed a mile away. He had just realized how pale and sick the older man looked, and it was evident that he was dying anyway.

Greg felt his heart racing against his chest. He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears as his breath hitched in his throat. He closed his eyes tightly to try and make it all go away, even though he knew he couldn't. Greg knew he couldn't make his fear go away on his own, but he wasn't on his own. Just as he was beginning to think everything was going to overwhelm him, he felt Nick's hand slide into his own shaking one and squeeze it gently. Greg opened his eyes to see Nick smiling at him from a few feet away.

"I tried to keep them from shaking," Greg said in reference to his hands. "But I never can."

Nick nodded slightly. "I know," he said softly. "But it's going to be okay."

"I know," Greg said as tears stung his tired eyes. "I just don't know which okay it's going to be, mine or yours."

"I'm hoping for you to be right. We all know how you hate to be wrong."

Greg laughed slightly. "Being wrong doesn't matter, I just want you to be okay. I don't want to lose you."

"You're not gonna," Nick said quietly, so quietly that Greg almost didn't hear him.

Before the younger man could reply, Grissom and Brass came over with Luke with Catherine, Archie, and of course Warrick right behind them.

"You guys ready?" Grissom asked. Nick and Greg nodded in silent unison. "Okay, let's do this then."

Luke stepped up to lay out how this was going to happen. "Warrick and Captain Brass are going to push you guys over the line when I say go, and at that same time my guys are going to completely cut the wire downstairs. You already know this, but the pain is going to be even worse than the first time you both were shocked. Then, basically, we just wait for something to happen."

Nick nodded in response because he could see that Greg could offer none. "Okay, sounds good man."

Brass and Warrick walked up and stood at the feet of Nick and Greg's stretchers, both of them putting one hand on each so they could push both together. The younger men laying in the stretchers looked at their friends and smiled confidently, but it didn't last long. Nick and Greg then looked at each other, their eyes locking and never leaving for there on out.

Luke radioed down to his guys down in the bunker. "You guys ready?" he asked.

"Ready when you guys are," their response cackled over the walkie-talkie.

Luke looked over to Warrick and Brass, who nodded slowly along with Nick and Greg. "Okay...ready, on three."

Catherine gripped Grissom and Archie's arms while they all held their breath, waiting off to the side with the paramedics who were ready to step in whenever they were needed for whatever they were needed for.

"One..." Luke began, signaling the beginning of what could be the end.

"Two..." he continued, seemingly taking his time in dragging out something that was already painfully slow and torturing everyone when it came to time.

Then finally, he uttered the final step, "Three."

Without hesitation, Warrick and Brass pushed Nick and Greg over the line, and they immediately began to shake violently. They heard Luke's guys confirm that the wire was cut, and it was apparent because of the intense shaking of the two men in front of everyone. Despite their immense pain, Nick and Greg kept their eyes on each other, neither one of them daring to look away.

Catherine gripped Grissom and Archie's arms tighter as the seconds wore on. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Luke keeping the time on his watch, but never said anything out loud. He didn't need to, everyone was counting in their own heads, save for the two people experiencing the event being timed. They seemed to be shaking more and more violently with every moment that passed, but the moments seemed to be taking forever to come and go as they watched their friends suffering in front of them.

A minute finally went by, and Luke stopped looking at his watch. He couldn't take his eyes away from the sight before him. He had only known Nick and Greg for the few hours since he had arrived in the middle of the desert to help out his old friend Archie, but it didn't matter that he barely knew them. He knew enough about them to know that they were two amazing people, which was evident by their friends spending the last three days out in the middle of nowhere with them in an attempt to save their lives. Now, saving their lives meant risking Nick's, who didn't seem to care in the least as long as Greg was okay. That's all he knew, and all that made it even harder to just stand there and watch.

It must have - had to have - been two minutes since Nick and Greg had been pushed over the line when the two men seemed to shake less violently. Their seizures seemed to be subsiding, and everyone watching thought that it was a good thing. Why wouldn't they? They all assumed that the system was shutting itself down, and that it would all be over soon.

No one but Greg could see Nick's eyes. No one but Greg saw the brown of his eyes slowly fade to gray as he struggled to keep them open. No one but Greg could see Nick's breathing shorten and stutter. No one but Greg could feel Nick's grip slowly loosening.

No one knew anything was wrong but Greg. Greg saw it happen, then he felt it happen when Nick's hand fell limp in his altogether. Nick's arm relaxed, followed by the rest of his body. Greg could no longer feel his strong grasp at the same time as Nick's eyes closed and his head sank a little lower on the pillow than it had been before.

No one but Greg knew that when he squeezed Nick's hand, Nick didn't squeeze back.

No one knew anything was wrong until they heard the steady, drawn out beep of the heart monitor attached to Nick telling him that his heart had stopped beating.


	20. Sweet Talk 101

Greg wasn't sure what came next. He couldn't differentiate between whether or not Warrick started pulling him off the stretcher and away from Nick before or after his seizures had stopped. Truth be told, it didn't matter. He couldn't tell the difference because he didn't care. Greg stared at Nick as he was pulled away, his hand reluctantly letting go of Nick's. Warrick effortlessly got him unstrapped and off the stretcher onto his feet and began taking him backwards somewhere Greg was unsure of. Greg wasn't really sure of anything at the moment other than the fact that before he had let go, Nick's hand was still warm in his.

So Greg stood there, wherever he was, but only because Warrick was holding him in place. Catherine, Brass and Grissom joined them shortly after, but no one said a word. They all watched in horror as the EMTs hooked up a generator powered defibrillator and prepped to try and shock Nick back to life. Greg felt Warrick's grip on him tighten as they shocked Nick once with no response. It seemed to be taking the trained professionals forever to get ready for the next amp, all the while Nick laying there without his heart beating.

The agonizingly slow moving time seemed to pay off. After two more times of shocking Nick, the monitor began to beep slowly, but it was beeping. Catherine let out a relieved cry, and Warrick's grip on Greg loosened until it was gone completely. He ran over to his best friend and stood by his side, frantically asking questions that the EMTs couldn't answer. They began packing up what they needed and were suddenly taking Nick away to the ambulance, which was waiting with its lights already on. Warrick nodded anxiously to one of the EMTs before running over to his friends again.

"Come with me," he said as he took Greg by the wrist and gently pulled him towards the ambulance. Greg wasn't going to argue, and didn't have to as Warrick explained. "Obviously Nick's going to the hospital. He needs medical attention right away, and so do you. You're in better shape, but you're going with him, okay?"

They had come to a stop outside the ambulance doors, waiting for them to load Nick in and be ready for Greg. The younger man stared at Warrick like he was speaking a different language, but he had understood, he just wasn't capable of communicating right now.

"Greg, do you understand me?" Warrick asked.

Greg nodded weakly. After a slight pause, he managed to ask, "You're coming too, right?"

Warrick shook his head. "I'd only slowly you guys down and get in the way. I don't need medical attention. We'll all meet you guys there."

Greg began to panic. "But Nick-"

"Needs you," Warrick said, finishing the sentence. "Nick needs you. Not me, not Catherine, you."

"But he's dying," Greg choked out through building tears. "He died and is dying again. He's dying Warrick."

"And you can save him," Warrick replied, taking hold of Greg's shoulders firmly. "Listen to me man: Nick loves you so much, it might be a little unhealthy, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything but you and you make him happy. He's in trouble right now, but you can help him. You can save him Greg."

The tears began spilling down Greg's face. "How?"

Warrick smiled. "All you gotta do is be with him man. That's enough for Nick. You're all he needs kid."

* * *

Greg held Nick's left hand in both of his as tightly as he could without causing Nick any more pain. It was hard to tell if Greg was shaking on his own accord, or if it was the bumpiness caused by the speeding ambulance flying to the hospital. Greg kept hearing the EMTs updating each other on how far away they were, but it didn't seem to matter. They were very far away. They were coming from the middle of the desert. They had been driving for at least fifteen minutes, and were still more than a half hour away. Brass had radioed ahead to block off all traffic to give them a clear path, but it remained to be seen if it was going to make a difference or not.

The tears continued to fall from Greg's eyes, but he didn't care. His head hurt, all of his muscles hurt, and he desperately needed to take a shower and get some sleep. But he didn't care. All he cared about was lying in front of him, dying in front of his very eyes. He didn't know what to do. The EMTs didn't even know what to do. They had his heart rate almost steady, but they couldn't supply him with oxygen for fear that it would cause his heart and lungs to work too hard and cause them to shut down again. Until they got a closer look at him at the hospital, they couldn't be sure what to do.

Nick's hand was still warm. He was still pale. But he's still breathing. He's still alive, and Greg still there with him. Sitting there, thinking about Nick and what Warrick had said, Greg racked his brain, trying to think about how to save Nick. He was there with him, but there had to be more that he could do. There had to be something.

In retrospect, Greg wasn't sure if the thought had crossed his mind, or if he had just acted out of instinct. Either way, what he did next was probably the smartest thing he had done in quite some time.

Slowly, still holding Nick's hand tightly, Greg leaned forward until his lips pressed gently against Nick's. It was a light brush, but he didn't move himself away for several seconds. He thought that the ambulance had hit a bump, because suddenly Nick's lips were pressed harder against his, but he soon realized that that was because Nick was sitting up slightly so he could do so. After a few seconds, his shoulders started shaking and he fell back down onto the stretcher, flat on his back again.

Greg pulled back so he could look down at Nick, who was looking up at him with a small smile on his face.

"Hi," Nick said, his voice hushed and breathless.

"Hi," Greg said as he smiled back. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

Nick shrugged slightly. "I'm fine," he said just as quietly.

"You died," Greg replied. "You're not fine."

"I know," Nick responded. "But I can't really feel much. I think I'm in shock."

"You are," an EMT confirmed. "And I'm in shock that you're actually awake."

"He does weird stuff like this all the time," Greg said, still looking at Nick. "You don't look too good sweetie."

"Neither do you," Nick shot back jokingly. "But everything's going to be okay."

Greg shook his head slowly. "Stop saying that."

Nick's energy was quickly draining, and he knew he didn't have the strength to argue with Greg right now, so he didn't. He just kept smiling and looking up at him for as long as he could before he knew he was going to pass out again from exhaustion.

"I love you," Nick whispered as his eyes closed slowly.

Greg squeezed his hand and whispered "I love you too," back before gently kissing Nick's forehead and continuing to sit there next to him as they rushed to the hospital to save Nick's life.

Greg was pulled out of his thoughts by one of the younger paramedics addressing him.

"Sir, how are you feeling?" he asked politely.

"I'm fine," Greg replied. "Don't worry about me, take care of him," he said, motioning with his head to Nick.

"Are you sure? We can check you out without anything bad happening to him ya know," he said with a small smile.

Greg smiled back. "I know, but I'm really okay. I feel fine." He was silent for a few moments before asking, "Honestly, do you think he's going to live?"

The EMT, whose name tag read BRYAN, shook his head. "I don't know. He was too weak to have gone through what he just did. I didn't think we were going to be able to get him back when his heart stopped," he answered honestly. "But he's a lot stronger than most people, and the best doctors available are already waiting at the hospital."

Greg nodded slightly. "I just hope that...if something happens, and he isn't going to make it...I don't want him to suffer, ya know?"

Bryan nodded in understanding. "He can't feel much right now. He's barely aware of what's going on."

"He's always been pretty oblivious," Greg said was a quiet laugh. "It took him two years to realize I liked him, and then a little longer for him to realize that he liked me."

"Ten minutes away," the driver shouted from up front.

Greg hadn't realized how much time had passed. Before Nick had woken up, it seemed to be going by slowly, and now it was racing past. He was trying not to think too far into the future, but he couldn't help it. In less than an hour they'll know if Nick is going to live or die. It'll only take the doctors a few minutes to examine the damage and make a call on what they can do and what they can't.

Greg just prayed that they will be able to do enough to keep Nick in his life for a little longer.


	21. Stokes, Nick Stokes

Greg's exhaustion didn't fully hit him until the paramedics had whisked Nick away from him. He didn't feel extremely tired until Nick's hand was no longer in his. The moment that happened, he felt like he was going to collapse. It was taking most of his remaining energy just to keep his eyes open, which he didn't even want to do anymore. He was thinking about just laying down in the middle of the floor and going to sleep, but then he saw his friends running down the hall towards him, so he figured he'd stay awake a little longer, for them.

Upon seeing how unsteady he was, Warrick braced Greg by putting his arm around his shoulder and holding him still. "Did they say anything about Nick?" he asked.

"He woke up," Greg answered.

"They're done with him already?" Catherine asked in astonishment.

Greg shook his head. "No, they just took him in. He's still passed out."

"Greggo," Grissom said, using Greg's nickname which he rarely does, "you're not making much sense. What did they say about Nick?"

Greg sighed. "They didn't tell me anything. Nick woke up. He told me."

"When did Nick wake up?" Grissom inquired.

"In the ambulance," Greg replied. "He woke up and could even talk to me. He said that he couldn't feel anything and that he thought he was in shock. But he knew that he had died and said that I didn't look good either. Then he passed out again and no one told me anything. They just took him...wherever the took him, and now he's there."

Grissom nodded slowly. "Okay, now we need you to go somewhere. You need someone to check you out more thoroughly."

Greg shook his head in protest. "I'm fine. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to fall asleep."

"Greg, you're not doing too well man," Warrick said. "You need to rest."

"I don't want to fall asleep," Greg repeated.

"Why not?" Catherine asked softly as she placed her hand on his arm gently.

Greg dropped his eyes to the floor. "Because if I fall asleep, I'll be asleep for a while. Then if something happens to Nick...I'll be asleep and won't know. What if something happens to him? I don't want to wake up and find out that he didn't wake up too. What if he's not going to wake up ever again?"

No one could stand there and look at Greg and tell him Nick was going to be fine because no one knew if that was true or not. No one knew what was going to happen to Nick, but they wanted to make sure nothing happened to Greg. They knew they could ensure that he would be okay again, physically anyway.

"Greg, what would Nick want you to do?" Warrick asked, already knowing the question.

"That's not fair Warrick," the younger man replied. "You know what he would say. Everyone does. But he's not here to say it so it doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," Warrick said. "You did everything you could for him, we all did. You did all you could have. Now it's out of all of our hands. Nick's not going to give up now, you know that."

Greg shook his head slowly. "What if he doesn't wake up?"

"What if he does, but he can't see you because you're in too bad of shape because you wouldn't let yourself get better? You need to get some rest Greg, or it won't matter if Nick wakes up or not," Warrick responded, and seemingly won Greg over in doing so.

The younger man sighed in defeat. "Fine," he said softly. "I'll consider my own health, but for only for you Warrick."

Warrick smiled and shook his head at Greg. "Nah man, not for me. For Nicky."

* * *

After a quick blood test and a few x-rays to make sure nothing was broken, Greg was declared as being "over-exhausted and in dire need of nothing but rest and plenty of food and fluids." So after he forced down a hospital hamburger and a few bottles of water, he was escorted to his own room where he changed into clothes Archie had brought for him to make him more comfortable. Even though he was technically fine, Greg still couldn't leave the hospital for a while because of the sensor still in his heart and in case something happened to him. Besides, he wouldn't be able to leave with Nick still there in his unknown condition.

So Greg retired to his room and reluctantly crawled into the uncomfortable bed that felt like a cloud to him. He didn't care about the paper sheets or the bumpy pillow; it was better than laying on the cold mattress on the cement floor in Lanser's hell hole.

The room was warmer. The bed was better and more welcoming. The atmosphere was even suitable, even though he hated hospitals. The only thing Greg could argue with right now was the company, or lack thereof.

Greg would go back to that stiff mattress in the bunker if it meant he could be laying with Nick.

* * *

It's safe to say that Greg fell into a deep sleep as soon as he closed his eyes. He didn't think that that was going to happen though because his mind was racing with thoughts of Nick and what was going to happen. He had only gone back into his room after Catherine, Warrick, Brass and Archie had all promised to wake him up if anything changed. After they repeatedly said they would and yelled at him to get some rest, he did.

The ex-lab rat was used to having nightmares, which is what he expected. But he didn't have any terrifying or messed up nightmares. He only had repeating dreams about Nick. None of them made much sense because they didn't involve what happened or something bad happening to Nick. They were just basic dreams involving the two of them hanging out together like they always did. Greg knew he was dreaming, but didn't want to wake himself up for fear that those dreams would never be real ever again.

The only way he could tell that he had been asleep for quite some time was that when he opened his eyes, his room was much darker than it had been. Not only were the lights off, but there was no sunlight coming in through the windows. It wasn't completely dark though, so Greg figured it was about seven or so at night. He wasn't sure when they had arrived at the hospital, but he knew that it was well before anything in the evening.

It took a little while for Greg's eyes to focus, but they finally did. He didn't remember opening them, but they were definitely open now. He didn't feel much like getting up, so he just laid there, staring up at the dark ceiling above him.

Greg wasn't sure how to describe it, but he had a weird feeling. He felt lost and scared, but he was used to that ever since Lanser had kidnapped them. This feeling was different, and he didn't know what to do about it. He was tired and wanted to go home with Nick, but knew he couldn't, so he just continued to lay there. The feeling only intensified, and then began to make him feel extremely anxious to the point where he thought he was having a panic attack.

Then, for whatever reason, Greg looked over to his left. To him, it seemed like an involuntary movement, but it didn't matter why he did it. In doing so, Greg's eyes had to adjust to more darkness, which was concealing the reason for the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach that had spread throughout his entire body. Hidden in the darkness was the reason he hadn't been able to get up and leave his room.

_Nick._

Impossibly, Nick was sitting in the chair at Greg's bedside. He was seemingly huddled up against himself in what looked like pain. He was wearing clothes that were very recognizable to Greg because they were Nick's own black sweatpants and no shirt. Greg could see that the left half of his chest was covered in a large white bandage covering the area where Nick was shot, resulting in Greg burning him with the iron to cauterize the wound. He looked extremely pale and tired, but he was awake. And he was smiling.

"What the hell..." Greg finally managed.

"Hi," Nick replied, still smiling.

Greg shook his head slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," Nick said, and only after speaking a full sentence could Greg tell that his voice was hushed and very raspy, as if speaking was causing him a great deal of pain, which it was.

"Why?" Greg asked.

"Because I wanted to see you," Nick responded simply.

"How did you get them to let you walk around like this?" he said as he continued to look over Nick's battered body.

Nick shook his head. "I didn't. I convinced Warrick it was dire to my health that I see you, and he created a small diversion so that I could sneak down here to be with you. I couldn't relax unless I knew you were okay."

"I'm not the one who died," Greg said. "Are you even supposed to be awake, let alone doing recon missions throughout the hospital?"

Nick nodded. "I'm fine sweetie, stop worrying."

"I can't because I almost lost you then I got yelled at and had to come here and sleep even when I didn't know if you were going to live or not and then I wake up and you're here, telling me you're fine."

"I am fine," Nick said softly. "I told you that everything was going to be okay, and I'd never lie to you."

"I know," Greg said, his voice cracking as he was on the verge of tears. "This whole thing just sucked so much and I wish it never happened."

"Me too," Nick agreed. "But it did, and now it's over. So fuck it. We're both okay, and Lanser will be in jail for the rest of his life. And we get to go home and sleep."

"When?" Greg asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Nick sighed. "Not soon enough."

"Didn't think so," Greg said sadly. "What are the doctors gonna do when they find out you escaped?"

Nick shook his head. "I don't care," he said honestly. "I'm here with you, that's all that matters."


	22. Breathing

Warrick didn't care that he was getting yelled at by several different people all at once. He didn't care that he had risked the hospital's liability by helping Nick leave his hospital room when he was in critical condition. He didn't care that his morals and overall sense of whether or not he was a good person was being questioned by everyone. He didn't care about any of that. It would be selfish of him to be thinking about himself right now anyway.

How could Warrick care about all that when he was watching his best friend sleep happily and peacefully with Greg in his arms?

"Do you even realize that what you did could have killed him?"

Nick's doctor, who's name Warrick had already forgotten, had been yelling at him for a good five minutes. Grissom, Catherine and Brass had all joined in on the scolding, but to no avail. Warrick just wasn't paying attention. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't the most important thing happening around him, so he wasn't going to put it first on his priorities list.

"Why aren't you listening to us?" Catherine asked as she pushed Warrick slightly, getting his attention for the first time.

"He's fine," Warrick said, and as everyone opened their mouths to argue, he repeated himself. "He's fine."

For the first time, everyone followed Warrick's gaze through the window into the dimly lit room where they could see Nick and Greg sound asleep. Greg was resting his head on Nick's chest with his arm draped across his stomach. Nick's arms were wrapped protectively around him as they slept. Nick still looked like he had been run over by a bus a couple times, but he also looked happier than his friends have seen him since they found them at the bunker. Both Nick and Greg were safe, and they were together.

"When he woke up," Warrick said, "all he cared about was Greg. He kept asking where he was and if he was okay. He wouldn't believe me that he was fine. He wanted to see him. He was gonna give himself a heart attack. I know I'm not a doctor, and I know you all think I shouldn't have helped Nick 'escape,' but I also know that guy better than I know myself. He's my best friend, and he needed my help to feel better. It doesn't matter how much medicine or attention you give him; if he's not with Greg, he's not going to get better."

Brass shook his head slowly. "Why didn't you just have Greg go to him? Wouldn't that have made more sense?"

"Does Nick ever do anything that makes sense?" Warrick asked.

"No," Grissom answered. "That's why we get pissed at him all the time."

Warrick nodded in agreement. "Look, yell at me all you want, I don't care. But the last thing Nick and Greg need right now is anyone being mad at them for whatever reason. Let's help them get better, okay?"

"You're lucky we love them enough to forget that we want to kill both you and Nick," Catherine said as she shook her head slowly. But as she watched them, her lips were tugged into a smile. "And they're just so cute together."

Brass rolled his eyes. "Typical woman."

"If you mean because I care about the people I love, then yes," Catherine said.

Before Brass could retort and cause another Brass-Catherine argument, Warrick changed the subject. "What's the latest on Lanser?"

"Well, since Nick didn't die, we can't fry him," Brass said.

"Why not?" Catherine asked. "He deserves it."

"I agree with you one hundred percent, but you can't just hand out death penalties. They have to be convicted of first degree murder, and he didn't murder anyone. The DA was waiting to see if Nick would make it. He's still going to file on kidnapping and attempted murder, all premeditated. He'll be in jail for the rest of his life," Brass explained.

Grissom nodded. "What about the sensors?" he asked, directing the question to Nick's doctor.

Doctor Williams shook his head. "We didn't attempt to remove it because it would have killed him. But after monitoring both him and Greg, we can't see it causing any more problems because it's deactivated. Their body's will build tissue around it and it'll either disintegrate or just sit there, not doing anything. If it does cause problems, it shouldn't be a problem to remove later on. We just couldn't do it now because of Nick's current state."

"Okay, thank you doctor." Grissom turned back to his team and wasn't surprised when he was met with blank stares.

"What now?" Catherine asked as she shrugged her shoulders.

Brass sighed. "We wait for them to wake up, then wait for Nick to be well enough to go home I guess. There isn't anything we can do."

"You've done enough," Catherine said, looking at Warrick. "Let's let the doctors do their jobs now."

Warrick rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. "Risking getting Nick hurt more and getting in trouble with a hospital was worth it to make him shut the hell up."

* * *

Greg woke up about two hours earlier than Nick. During those two hours, the two men had shifted positions, so now Nick's head was resting on Greg's shoulder and the younger man was slowly running his hand back and forth through Nick's dark hair. Greg was glad that Nick was getting a lot of much needed rest. His skin was still pale and he had that sickly look about him. His chest moved slowly up and down against Greg's side and he could feel the steady beating of Nick's heart against his own ribs.

Greg smiled as he looked down at the sleeping Nick. The Texan had developed a minor case of insomnia due to being buried alive and the nightmares caused by it, so it was very rare that Greg got to watch him sleep as peacefully as he was right now. Granted Nick kind of passed out more than he fell asleep, but he was still peaceful nonetheless.

The younger man pressed his lips gently to Nick's forehead, noticing that he was a little warmer than he should have been. The fever Nick had made Greg worry slightly about him having a nightmare; Nick usually had the worst nightmares when he was sick, especially with a fever. But despite his fever and exhausted state, Nick slept without any interruptions. His breathing was calm and even and his heart beat was slow and steady, the way it should be.

The two hours that Greg had been watching Nick sleep for seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Before he knew it, Nick's eyes were fluttering open before they looked up at him. This was followed by Nick smiling and then drawing himself closer against Greg's warm body.

"How are you feeling?" Greg asked softly.

"Much better," Nick replied honestly. "I feel like I'm hungover now though."

Greg laughed lightly. "That's because you're still really tired, and drank a whole bottle of vodka not too long ago."

"Half a bottle of vodka," Nick corrected, "and that ended up working out for the best now didn't it?"

Greg shrugged. "If you call me burning your with an iron the best, then yeah I guess so."

Nick shook his head slowly and closed his eyes again. "How are you feeling?" he asked, somewhat changing the subject.

"I'm fine," Greg said, "and I'm even better now that you're okay. I think I made myself worse by freaking out over whether or not you were going to make it. I was just so scared..." Greg trailed off, letting his mind finish the rest of that thought.

Nick opened his eyes and looked back up at Greg. "I'm sorry I died."

Greg smiled at that. "Do you realize how stupid that sounds?"

Nick shook his head. "You didn't want to do what we did because you were scared. I shouldn't have made you, that's why I died...for a little bit. I thought that if I did die, they wouldn't be able to bring me back so it wouldn't hurt as much. I don't know. I just didn't mean to put you through all this."

"You didn't," Greg replied, "Lanser did. None of this was your fault Nick. You're the reason we both got out alive. You made the decisions I was too scared too."

Nick sat up slowly, and Greg repeated the motion. They were both quiet for a minute before either one of them spoke again.

"You should have stuck with the decision you did make," Nick said softly, his eyes locked with Greg's.

Greg shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

"You should have walked away," Nick responded, "when you had the chance to. You should have walked away on me, continued to hate me."

Greg knew Nick was talking about what had happened between them after Nick had attempted to kill himself to save Greg. The younger man shook his head again and took Nick's warm hand in his own.

"I never hated you," Greg said.

"You should. You should have broken up with me then gone back to Warrick and all them and waited to go home."

"Wait for you to kill yourself?" Greg asked.

"You should have told me it was okay to die," Nick whispered.

Greg squeezed Nick's hand. "Then I would have been lying."

"You should have walked away from me and never looked back," Nick said. "Then you'd be okay, forever."

"I am okay," Greg replied. "And I will be for a very long time. You saved me Nick."

"But I hurt you," Nick argued. "I always do. I always do something or say something stupid to hurt you. I don't want to do that anymore. I should have just ran into the desert. And I'm doing it right now, hurting you, because you're gonna yell at me and tell me that you love me and want me around and that it would kill you to have to live without me. You'd say I'm an idiot for saying all this, but it's true and you know it. I've hurt you a lot, and none of that would have happened if I had just died."

"You're right," Greg replied. "You are an idiot, and there's nothing I can say that can change that. So maybe something that Catherine said will."

Nick frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Lanser told us that if you take the pain out of love, then love won't exist," Greg explained. "But that's not true, it's the opposite. Love can exist without pain. Take the love of pain, then pain can't exist. It doesn't take painful things to create love, love creates pain because it's supposed to. If there's someone out there who would never hurt me, then I wouldn't love them because yes, you do hurt me, but I love _you, _Nick."


	23. Trade Agreements

After spending a short while more together, Nick and Greg were greeted by their team of both their friends and their various doctors. Hugs and kisses of relief were exchanged, followed by Nick being scolded for his stupid actions. He just laughed it off, like he always did, and eventually everyone else did as well. The reunion was soon over, however, and Nick and Greg were taken away from their friends down the hall, where more tests needed to be run. The doctors still needed to check for some things, and wanted to be absolutely certain they hadn't missed anything before they let Nick and Greg return home.

While the tests were being run, Nick and Greg sat in the little nurse's station they were occupying in comfortable silence. Greg glanced at Nick every couple of seconds, noting how pale he was and how tired and run down he looked. Nick knew Greg was concerned, so he tried his best to look happy despite the fact that they were both in the hospital for serious matters. He was afraid that the doctors would find something; not concerning him, but with Greg. He didn't want to find out that there was something seriously wrong with his boyfriend that they wouldn't be able to fix. He could handle being sick himself, but not Greg.

"Everything's gonna be okay," Greg said, reading Nick's mind and mimicking the words Nick had spoken countless times over the last however many days it had been since Lanser had taken them captive.

Nick looked up and met Greg's eyes. "I know," he said softly. "That doesn't stop me from worrying though."

"It's about time you did," Greg said with a small laugh. "You left all the worrying up to me this whole time, and that's just not fair."

Nick smiled. He was about to speak when their head doctor, Dr. Lawson, walked up to the pair with a solemn look on his face. Both Nick and Greg exchanged puzzled glances before looking at Lawson, who was apparently choosing his words carefully.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," he said, addressing Nick.

"Am I gonna die?" Nick asked.

Lawson frowned. "No," he answered.

"Then it can't be that bad," Nick replied with a small shrug.

Lawson shook his head slightly. "It could be. We ran all of out tests, and we've concluded something fairly obvious, but now we realize just hot bad it is. Your heart is obviously not in good shape. All the stress it went through...frankly, I'm surprised you're still alive."

"So am I," Nick said, thinking out loud.

Lawson nodded. "So the bad news is that you can't do anything strenuous to the point where your heart will beat faster than a little more than normal, or you will have a heart attack and you will die."

"Like, definitely?" Nick asked.

"Definitely," Lawson said. "If you so much as get scared and your heart beats just a little too fast, you'll go into cardiac arrest and your heart just won't be able to take that. It's been through too much, and so have you, so a good rest is not only suggested, it's necessary."

Nick nodded. "Okay, so how long do I have to take it easy for?"

"Forever," Lawson replied sadly. "You're scheduled for surgery in two hours. We're implanting a heart rate monitor so that you'll be able to tell when you're heart rate is getting out of hand and potentially harmful."

"Won't surgery be risky?" Greg asked.

Lawson shook his head. "His heart rate will be slowed down, not sped up. It's quick and simple, I assure you there's nothing to worry about. Without the monitor, you won't know when you're in danger and have a better chance of accidental death."

Nick sighed. "Okay, do whatever you have to I guess."

"You're going to have to really pay attention to what you're doing too," Lawson said. "That means no running, heavy lifting, physical sports, or physical activity at all, especially sex."

Before Nick could protest, Lawson looked at his watch and began to turn to leave. "We'll be prepping you for surgery shortly."

And with that he was gone, leaving Nick and Greg in the nurses' station by themselves again. Nick watched Lawson walk down the hall and turn down another, disappearing from sight. Nick took a deep breath and let it out slowly before turning to Greg, who had a bemused and skeptical look on his face.

"What?" Nick asked.

Greg scoffed. "I'm just not surprised."

"At what?" Nick asked.

"The fact that you were going to try and negotiate for sex with a doctor who just told you your life is in danger if you do anything stressful. You're insane."

Nick rolled his eyes and smiled slightly. "You can't talk."

"Why's that?"

"Have you ever had sex with you?" Nick asked.

Greg frowned. "No," he answered dumbly.

"Then you don't get it," Nick replied, earning himself a light punch from his still bemused boyfriend.

"Is it worth you dying for?" When Nick looked up thoughtfully at the ceiling and didn't answer right away, Greg hit him again, eliciting a chuckle from the older man.

"I'm kidding," Nick said. "I'm not going to do anything that may risk my life. Not again."

"You better not, I'll kill you if you go," Greg replied.

Nick cocked his head to the side. "Isn't that defeating the whole purpose of everything?"

Greg shook his head. "Nope."

"Okay," Nick said, accepting his defeat in the meaningless argument. He didn't feel like trying to defend his position because he knew he was wrong and that Greg would therefor win, per usual.

The lighter haired man wanted a subject change as well. "When do you think we'll get outta here?"

Nick shrugged. "I don't know, hopefully soon. I really need some sleep."

"Ditto," Greg agreed. "I bet once the tests are all back we'll get out of here."

As if on cue, Warrick came around the corner, talking on his cell phone to what sounded like either Grissom or Brass.

"Yeah, I'll tell 'em. Okay, got it. Chill man. Later."

Warrick snapped his phone shut and returned it to it's place in his pocket. He walked up to his friends with a smile on his face as he said to Greg, "Gris needs to see you. Something about papers and Nick not being able to sign them because technically he's incapable."

"Why am I incapable?" Nick asked.

Warrick shrugged. "Don't know, didn't ask. All I know is that you're supposed to be at reception two minutes ago so you fools can go home."

Greg sighed heavily and headed away from Nick and Warrick. "I shouldn't be capable of anything either," he mumbled to himself as he left Nick and Warrick's sight.

Warrick hopped up onto the counter next to where Nick was perched. Nick was staring at the floor, obviously thinking about something concerning the past events he and Greg had been through.

"You okay man?" Warrick asked.

Nick looked up at his friend. "I can't do anything that'll make my heart beat fast or I'll die," he said, no transition needed.

Warrick shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry man, but at least you're gonna be okay. I hate to see you like this, both of you. It's not fair. You guys are my best friends, especially you, I don't need to tell you that. I wish that there was something I could say or do to change everything that has ever happened to you, but I can't do that. No one can, but no one deals with all that shit better than you. You're gonna be okay man, I know you will be."

Nick smiled his thanks to his friend. "I just wish I had a normal life sometimes. I wish all this fucked up shit didn't have to happen, Greg shouldn't have to go through this. It's not fair to him, let alone all you guys. He shouldn't have to be sex-deprived either."

Warrick frowned in confusion. "What?"

"I can't have sex dude," Nick explained. "I have surgery in two hours, that's why Greg had to go sign the papers because only he can leave right now. I gotta stay and have a heart monitor or something implanted in me to let me know when my heart is beating too fast before I have another heart attack and die. I can't do anything with him."

Warrick shook his head slowly. "I didn't even think of that. But you guys waited, what, like two years before you had sex?"

"Two years isn't the same as the rest of my life, even though that could very well only be two years."

"Don't say that, I'll kick your ass," Warrick warned.

"Sorry," Nick apologized quickly. "But it's true. We only waited that long because I had never done it before."

"And because you've never had sex sober with a woman before either," Warrick added with a laugh.

Nick nodded. "That too. Which just proves my point. I keep fucking shit up for him all the time."

"So what are you gonna do?" Warrick asked. "Give him a guilt free pass to hook up with whoever he wants for the rest of his life?" When Nick nodded, Warrick shook his head. "I was kidding man."

"I'm not," Nick replied. "That's only fair. It's not his fault I can't do anything, why should he have to stop too?"

"He'll never go for it," Warrick said. "He loves you too much, you're dumb for even asking."

Nick laughed slightly. "I've done worse things in my life, trust me."


	24. Survive

Nick was laying as still as possible, fearing that if he moved at all he would have a heart attack. The fear of that was also causing him to worry about literally scaring himself to death, so he took several deep breaths in order to calm himself down. It didn't seem to be working at first, but then Greg walked in and Nick smiled and everything seemed to slow down and have less of an affect on Nick. He was so focused on being happy to see Greg that he tricked himself into forgetting, for the mean time, why he was in the hospital for the first place.

"How are you feeling?" Greg asked as he sat down in the chair next to Nick's bed, carefully taking his hand.

Nick nodded slowly. "Fine. I don't really feel all that different, except when I move I can feel it," he said, motioning to the small black boxed clipped to his shorts on his right side. A clear wire was plugged into it, which disappeared under his shirt and was attached to a pad that was above where his heart monitor had been implanted, which was transmitting the signal to the box on Nick's side.

"So how does it work?" Greg asked, his eyes transfixed on the small, seemingly insignificant little box.

"It just beeps when my heart is going too fast, and the beeping gets faster the greater the danger," Nick replied. "Pretty simple I guess."

Greg nodded weakly. "Simple is good," he responded dumbly, not sure of what to say. He looked back up at Nick. "I know this is going to be a hard transition, but it's definitely worth it, ya know?"

Nick swallowed the lump in his throat. "I uh...actually wanted to talk to you about the situation."

"Okay," Greg said softly, feeling his heart drop to his stomach. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"The uh...the sex aspect. Or lackthereof I guess."

Greg frowned in confusion. He thought that maybe Nick was going to tell him he couldn't handle this, couldn't handle being restrained from doing the things he loved; not including sex. But playing sports, messing around with Warrick all the time, going running, swimming, all that stuff. He wasn't expecting another 'let me have sex with you' argument.

"What about it?" Greg asked.

Nick sighed. "I shouldn't hold you back anymore. When we first got together, and we knew that it was going to be an actual relationship and not just a fling, we waited two years to have sex. Rather, you waited for me to be ready because I wasn't. It was all new to me, but not to you. You sacrificed that for me, and I've tried to make it up to you but there's no replacing those two years, ya know?"

Greg opened his mouth to speak, but Nick continued. "You shouldn't be held back anymore, I don't want to hold you back anymore. You shouldn't have to go the rest of my life without being able to experience sex. It's not fair to you at all."

Greg shook his head. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you should move on. From me. Sexually, I mean. What I'm trying to say is...you should go out, meet new people-"

"And have sex with them?" Greg asked.

Nick nodded. "You shouldn't have to suffer."

Greg was unable to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. "What am I, a slut? No sex would be torturing me?"

"No no no, I didn't mean it like that," Nick said quickly.

Greg sighed. "I know. I know what you meant. You're being the same unselfish Nicky you've always been. You were looking out for me, but didn't think clearly. Do you really think I could have sex with someone else and still be in a relationship with you?"

"So, do you..." Nick swallowed again. "Want to break up so you can?"

Greg laughed lightly. "Wow. The drugs must be really messing with your mind." Greg leaned in close to Nick and squeezed his hand gently. "I don't want to break up with you. I don't want to go out and hook up with random people. I don't want to do anything if it isn't with you. You jump, I jump. You can't have sex, neither can I. If I can't have you, I don't want nobody baby."

Nick smiled at Greg's favorite song quote. "I just thought it'd make things easier."

"Do you really think you'd be able to handle it?"

Nick nodded. "Of course."

Greg cocked an eyebrow. "You think you'd be okay with me going out and meeting another guy? Having drinks, maybe dinner, the whole shebang?"

Nick shrugged. "Whatever."

"You'd be okay with me going to another guy's house, taking his clothes off, going in his bed, kissing him-"

"Woah woah woah," Nick said, cutting Greg off. "What the hell do you have to kiss him for?"

"See!" Greg exclaimed with a smile. "It would drive you insane."

"You drive me insane," Nick replied.

Greg smiled. "I only continue to do it because I'm good at it."

Nick rolled his eyes, but smiled as well. "I know you are," he said quietly.

"Nick," Greg said, squeezing his boyfriend's hand again. "Everything's going to be okay. We've been through worse together. This doesn't have to change much. We can't let it get the best of us, ya know?"

Nick nodded weakly. "I know. I'll be fine as long as you are."

"What do you mean?" Greg asked.

"I've been everywhere from happy, to a total fucking wreck. Sometimes my feet are on solid ground, and other times I feel like I'm at the edge, ready to fall. But when I'm with you, none of it matters."

Greg shook his head slowly. "Life, especially for you, has been less than kind. Take a number Nick, get in line behind everyone else life has fucked over. Everyone's been hurt or sorry for something that's happened to them. But how you survive through whatever it is, that's what makes you who you are. Everything you've been through, you've survived, and that's made you the strongest and most unbelievable person ever. It has nothing to do with me, you could do this all by yourself if you had to. The point is, you don't. I'm always going to be here. Whether we're trapped in a bunker with a psychopath or we can't have sex anymore...none of _that_ matters because nothing can make me un-love you. Nothing can make me want to be with someone else or want to get away from you."

"You're just too naive to get away from me," Nick said, thinking out loud.

"No I'm not. I love you too much. I've proved that to you by staying with you no matter what stupid shit you try to pull. You tried to kill yourself, and I should have left. I should have ended it and moved on, but I knew I couldn't do that because I'd be thinking about every moment, every second I've spent with you and every second I'd be missing out on," Greg replied.

Nick stared at Greg silently for a few minutes, unable to think of a good enough response. All he could come up with was, "I never wanted to hurt you. All the stupid shit I pulled was for a reason. Even if it seemed stupid, it made sense to me at the time."

"Which is another reason why I love you," Greg said as he leaned down and pressed his lips against Nick's dark hair. "You're always looking out for me. I know you love me...you do whatever you have to to prove it to me. I just hope you learned your lesson," he teased.

Nick laughed. "I never do," he said.

The pair fell into a comfortable silence for some time. Nick let his tired eyes close, but he didn't fall asleep. Greg thought he had, and was just about to get up and go find something for them to eat when Nick spoke softly, his eyes still closed peacefully.

"When I was buried alive and had to keep you awake..." Nick said quietly, "do you remember when you told me to kill myself?"

Greg felt his heart skip a beat. "When I was in shock?" Greg asked, trying to ease then tension off of what Nick was asking.

Nick nodded, his eyes still closed. "Yeah. You told me that if I wanted to, you'd understand." He opened his eyes and looked at the younger man dead in the eye. "Did you really want me to?"

Greg felt his mouth suddenly go dry, making it hard for him to speak. "Of course not," he answered honestly. "I just didn't want you to suffer. I was going into shock...I didn't know what I was saying. I didn't want you to kill yourself, I just wanted it to be over, ya know?"

"I wouldn't blame you," Nick said as he closed his eyes again. "I'd want me dead too."

"I don't want you dead," Greg replied.

"Then why didn't you answer my question?"

Greg knew what question he was talking about. He meant when he had been buried the first time, whether Greg thought he was going to end it or not. Truth be told, Greg didn't know what he had thought Nick was going to do. He knew that he was scared that Nick didn't care about him enough to hang on and that he would take his own life, but he certainly didn't _want_ him to.

"Because I wasn't sure what to say to you," Greg said truthfully. "I was scared that you would. I couldn't imagine how awful that was, and I didn't want you to suffer. And then in the bunker, I didn't want you to die, I wanted you not to suffer again. I wanted whatever was best for you. The first time it happened...I wasn't sure what you were going to do."

Nick shook his head slowly. "I wasn't either. I was afraid what all of you guys were going to think if I did. The harder it got to breathe, the harder it was to think and all I could think about was you guys finding me with a bullet through my head."

"Losing you any way would have been awful for all of us," Greg said. "So I guess I never really believed you would because I was too scared to think about what would happen if you did."

Nick smiled slightly. "Is it bad that I could understand that?"

"No," Greg said with a smile of his own. "It just shows how crazy we both really are."

Nick closed his eyes, his smile still on his tired face. "When do we get to go home?" he asked, his voice heavy and laced with sleep.

"Soon," Greg whispered as he began to run his hand through Nick's soft hair. "Just get some rest and then you can go home, okay?"

Nick nodded slightly. "Okay." Greg thought he had fallen asleep instantly, so he was surprised when Nick spoke again. "I love you Greggo."

Greg's smile widened. "I love you too Nicky."

* * *

The next and final chapter is already about half way done and will be up soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing, hope you're enjoying it.


	25. Audience of One

_Four Years Later_

Greg was sitting on the very end of the couch, smiling down at Nick as he slept peacefully with his head in Greg's lap and the rest of his body stretched out on the couch. His bare chest was moving up and down slowly as he breathed calm and even. One of Greg's hands was slowly raking through Nick's dark hair while the other rested on the waistline of the dark blue Nike basketball shorts that Nick was wearing. Greg slowly scanned over Nick's exposed chest, remembering how he got each and every scar that scattered his body. The largest of them being the one on his shoulder from the bullet wound and cauterizing of that wound. Greg shook his head slowly to rid his mind of those thoughts, and they were replaced with a smile when Nick's eyes began to flutter open slowly.

The older man looked up at his boyfriend and smiled sleepily. "Hey G," he said softly. "Whatcha doin?"

Greg smiled back. "Nothing," he replied. "Just thinking."

"About what?" Nick asked, holding back a yawn.

"If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?" Greg asked. "And would you miss me when you get there?"

"No," Nick responded, "because there's no place that I would rather be than right here with you."

Greg rolled his eyes. "I figured you would say the Bahamas or something like that."

Nick laughed lightly. "Nah, I'm good right here."

"Good," Greg said, "because I don't want you to go anywhere. I like having you here."

"Even if you can't have sex with me?" Nick asked, as he often did just to get a rise out of Greg.

Greg shrugged nonchalantly. "It was never anything special."

"Bullshit," Nick replied. "I'm calling total bullshit on that one."

Greg laughed as he ran his hand slowly through Nick's hair. "I told you that it wouldn't be an issue."

"Oh it's an issue," Nick argued. "It's just an issue we've accepted and learned to deal with, but it's still an issue. It still sucks."

"Not as much as you being dead," Greg responded. "That would have been the worst possible outcome of that whole situation and you know it. I've been telling you that for the last four years and of course, you don't really listen. It's hard to see what you have when you're too busy concentrating on what you don't have."

Nick sat up and positioned himself so he was sitting right next to Greg, but that only lasted a few seconds. Nick wrapped his left arm around Greg's shoulders and gently pulled him backwards, laying them both down, Greg in between the back of the couch and Nick, resting his head on the older man's chest. Nick wrapped his arms tightly around Greg and rested his chin on top of Greg's soft hair.

"I was just being sarcastic Greg," Nick said quietly.

Greg laughed slightly. "Ya mean you were just being you," he joked. "I know that's just a way you deal with everything that happened, I'm just trying to make a point. Sometimes it just seems like our life is made into a...game or something, ya know?"

Nick nodded and kissed Greg's hair. "I know, and I'm playing for keeps."

* * *

_Eleven Years Later_

Greg looked out on the black and gray sea of people in front of him. The lights were dimmed and everyone was looking at him. He should have been terrified. His hands should have been shaking, and his throat should have been dry. But it wasn't. He was calm and ready because he was prepared. He had been for the last two years, ever since that doctor's appointment of Nick's he had had on Tuesday, July 21 two years ago. The doctor had told them that Nick's heart was starting to deteriorate from all its been through, and that he didn't have much longer to live.

Nick had made it two more years before he had died in his sleep, in Greg's arms, in their bed, in their home. Losing Nick had not been easy whatsoever, but it had been a little easier. They had spent those two years like any other, by each others side, doing the things they loved with the people they loved.

And now it was time for everyone to say goodbye to Nicholas Parker Stokes.

Greg stepped up to the podium and took a deep breath before he began. "First off, I just want to thank all of you for coming, we all appreciate it," Greg said, referring to Nick's family and, of course, his second family that was sitting in the first three rows on the left side of the church. Everyone was there; Warrick, Grissom, Sara, Catherine with Lindsey, Brass, Mandy, Wendy, Hodges, Archie, Bobby, Ecklie, Henry, and last but not least, Doc Robbins.

Greg took another deep breath as he continued. "I sat up all last night with the people who knew Nick best, just talking about him. Talking about the things he did, the things he said. You would think that something like that would bring you to tears, but we couldn't stop laughing. That's what Nick was good at, making people laugh. Making them smile. Grissom told us the stories of when he would walk into the break room to hand out assignments, only to find Nick and Warrick yelling at each other while they were playing video games. And instead of apologizing or stopping right away to get to work, Nick would wait for Warrick to put his controller down and then do whatever he had to in order to win the game."

The soft echo of laughter that rolled through the church was started by Grissom and Warrick. "Then there were the countless times I had to throw Nick, and often Warrick as well, out of my lab when I was the DNA tech because I couldn't stand them after more than five minutes." That elicited more laughter. "I could never figure out why Grissom put those two together all the time; it wasn't like they never got to see each other. If they weren't annoying everyone at work, they sure did it after work."

"But despite their annoying tendencies, Nick and Warrick were text-book best friends. Always together, always having a good time, and always on each others case to work harder or get their act together. It made Grissom and Catherine's job a little easier, and more amusing. They behaved in a way that could make Sara laugh, even early in the morning at the end of a double shift."

Sara smiled widely as she wiped a stray tear from her eye. "Nick was great at bringing people together. He was always the first one to suggest going out to eat together or all of us taking a vacation day to go somewhere fun, like Lake Mead. It didn't matter what we did together as long we were together, and we always were because of Nick. He loved being around a lot of people. He cared about a lot of people, and every one of them is in this room right now. And if I know one thing about Nick, it's that he would hate to see us all sitting here sad because of him. Losing such a great guy is tough, but it makes it easier to think about all the great things he did in his life."

Making eye contact with a beautiful, young woman, Greg continued. "I think Nick's friends would agree with me when I say that Cassie McBride is the best example of that."

The now twenty-five-year-old woman took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around her husband Bryan, who was seated next to her. He kissed the side of her head gently and squeezed her hand in comfort. They both looked up at Greg, waiting for him to continue.

"Cassie was rescued because of Nick, who refused to give up and quit on her. Even when everyone was telling him otherwise, he did what he did best and didn't listen," Greg said, laughing along with everyone else. "That was another thing about Nick...when he was set on something, that was it. Nothing could change his mind, especially when it came to helping someone. And he did. He helped a ten-year-old girl who had no one else looking out for her. Now she's all grown up and married to a guy who, on the very first time he met Nick, thanked him for what he had done for Cassie."

Greg paused for a moment, then went on. "That was another story that was told last night, which led to more stories of Nick not listening to people and his unique train of thought. Catherine couldn't help but bring up the time Nick thought that a scuba diver from Lake Mead was sucked up by a fire station helicopter, then dumped on a tree in the middle of a forest fire." Catherine was laughing the hardest of everyone, despite the tears in her eyes. "Even though he knew it was unlikely, Nick still stuck to his guns and never let his theory go. He was never one to give up, on anything."

Looking down at his team, his friends, and his family, Greg said, "Ya know, someone once told Nick and I that if you take the pain out of love, then love can't exist. That same person tried to prove to the world that true love doesn't exist, only self love does. That same person is the reason why Nick isn't here anymore, because that person was wrong. His name isn't even worth mentioning, but I know that most of you here know who I'm talking about. Nick proved him wrong, just by simply being Nick. He was sarcastic, stubborn, and acted somewhat crazily, but in the end he proved himself right because, well, Nick always proved himself right, on way or another."

Laughter mixed in with everyone nodding in agreement made Greg smile wider than he already was. "Even though Nick was stubborn, head strong, and extremely sarcastic, he was probably one of the easiest people to get along with. He was just so nice and polite to everyone, a true southern gentleman to the T. Holding doors for people, saying ma'am and y'all every chance he got, and willing to fight anyone who was rude or mean to Catherine."

Catherine wiped the stray tears from her eyes, and Greg went on. "Nick was truly a selfless man. He didn't care what consequences his actions would have on him as long as the people he cared about were going to be okay. I, somehow, was one of those people. I never truly understood how Nick and I got along so well; we really are polar opposites. He's from a ranch on Texas, and I'm fro a beach in California. Nick was very neat, liked country music, and was calm and composed all the time. I'm extremely disorganized, listen to rock 'n' roll and full volume, and can never sit still. I honestly don't know how he put up with me for so long, but he did."

Greg swallowed hard as a lump began to form in his throat. "I never thought I'd ever have to do this. Even last night, when I knew today was going to come eventually, I thought I was going to wake up next to Nick and have to go to work. And nothing hurt more than when that didn't happen.

Greg let his thoughts wander for a few seconds and looked out at the large crowd of people in front of him. Everyone was looking up at him, hanging on every word, smiling with tears in their eyes. They were all waiting for what Greg was going to say next about Nick Stokes, who they were all there in memory of.

"The same person that took Nick from us said to him, 'Life isn't fair, so play with the hand you were dealt.' That person had no idea that he was telling Nick to do what he did best. Nick never complained about any of the absurd things that ever happened to him. He never gave up on something that presented a challenge. In fact, if someone told him he couldn't do something, he did it just to prove them wrong. Even if that something was doing a back flip off of a forty foot cliff into the ocean."

Warrick laughed and nodded in agreement as the memory of that day came back to his mind. "We're all going to miss Nick," Greg went on, "but I think the best thing any of us could do to honor is memory is to just live. There's some things you can't control, and sometimes you have to play with a disadvantage, but you should never quit. On anything. Nick never quit on anything, even when he should have. Even when he didn't have any other choice, he would never quit, it just seemed like it at the time. So do Nick a favor and enjoy everything that you have. Don't take any of it for granted, because someday it won't be there anymore. Nick isn't here anymore, but what he's done is. Someone like Nick never leaves, not entirely."

And with that, Greg stepped back from the podium and returned to his seat next to Catherine. The rest of the service was a blur; all Greg could concentrate on was the picture of Nick up at the alter. It was a picture Catherine had taken the day Nick had jumped off the cliff. They had all gone out to California for a weekend and Greg took them to a "secret beach" where they climbed to the top of a huge cliff just to look out at the ocean. Before Nick had jumped into the clear blue water, he had been sitting on the ground with his arms resting on his knees, a faded hat haphazardly placed on his head, and a huge smile on his face. It was Greg's favorite picture of Nick, one that held an image of a day Greg would never forget.

Greg found himself staring at the same picture that sat in front of Nick's gravestone at the cemetery. Everyone had left, leaving him by himself; or so he thought. He was just about to turn and leave himself when he felt a gentle hand on his arm. He turned to see Cassie McBride-Hallen standing next to him with a sad smile on her face. Her husband Bryan was standing by her side, wearing the same expression.

Greg hugged both of them before he spoke. "I thought everyone was gone," Greg said.

Cassie nodded. "We left for a bit to give you some time," she explained. "But we wanted to ask you something. Here, with Nick."

"What is it?" Greg asked, smiling at how Cassie also believed Nick was still somewhat around.

Cassie looked at Bryan, who took over. "Cassie's pregnant," he explained. "And we were wondering if it would be okay if we...I mean, we wanted to know if you minded..." Bryan trailed off, not knowing how to go about asking what he wanted to ask.

"The doctor's say it's going to be a boy," Cassie elaborated. "And we were wondering if it would be okay if we named him Nick."

"Are you kidding me?" Greg asked, dumbfounded.

Cassie frowned slightly. "You know, in memory of him and everything. He meant a lot to me and we just thou-"

"Sorry," Greg said, cutting her off. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. I meant it as are you kidding? Of course it would be okay, you didn't even have to ask."

Cassie and Bryan both smiled widely as Cassie pulled Greg into a tight hug after kissing him on the cheek. When she finally released Greg, she looked at him and said, "We were also wondering if you would be the godfather."

Greg couldn't help but smile. "Of course, I'd be honored to be Nick's godfather."

Cassie hugged him again, as did Bryan. "You both have just done so much for me...I can never thank you enough."

"You don't have to," Greg replied, "it was our pleasure."

* * *

_Six Years Later_

Greg sat on the deck, watching all of friends and family scattered about, eating whatever they could find and playing with all the kids. Lindsey was introducing her new boyfriend to Warrick, who was grilling the poor kid as if he were a murder suspect. Catherine was making sure everyone had enough to eat, forcing food into Grissom, Sara and Brass' hands. Then Greg's eyes landed on Cassie and Bryan, who were playing happily with their five year old son, Nicholas Jeremy Hallen. Greg smiled as he watched the family play together, happy as can be. He turned for a moment to look over his shoulder, back into the house where he could see his favorite picture of Nick Stokes sitting on the mantle. Greg turned back around in time to see little Nick Hallen run up the stairs and launch himself into his lap.

"Uncle Greg!" Nick yelled out enthusiastically. "When can we go back to the go carts?"

After regaining air back into his lungs, Greg responded, "When you convince your mom that you stop trying to hit the other cars."

Nick giggled hysterically. "But it's really fun to do that."

Greg nodded in agreement. "I know it is buddy."

Nick made himself comfortable in Greg's lap before he kept on talking. "So today's Uncle Nick's birthday, right?" he asked.

Greg sighed slightly. "Yes it is. August eighteenth."

Nick nodded slowly. "I bet he was a real cool guy."

"He was," Greg said with a smile. "You two would have really gotten along great. He would have let you hit whatever you wanted in a go cart."

Nick laughed again. "Mommy and daddy really loved him."

Greg nodded in agreement. "So did I."

Nick thought for a moment before he said, "And I love mommy, and daddy, and you, and he loved you guys, right?" Before Greg could answer, Nick went on. "So if I love you and you love me and you love Nick and Nick loves you, then I love Nick and he loves me too, right?"

Greg smiled the widest he had all day. "Right."

Nick smiled back. "Good."

Greg was the happiest he had been in a very long time. Nick wasn't there anymore, but there was another Nick who was going to grow up to be almost exactly like Nick Stokes. Nick Hallen was only five-years-old, and he already understood what most people didn't. True love really does exist, and if you love someone enough, they'll never really leave you.

You can ever really lose something that meant so much to you. You can never really lose someone that you truly love.

* * *

**Thank you everyone who read and reviewed this story, and for putting up with the random updates and the things that kept me from completing it as quickly as I wanted to.**


End file.
